In a great shout, and, catching holdof ANCESTRY, When Ipichrates. the Athenian general, CHICKEN RACES. A -NIGERIAN LEGEND. DIFFICULT TO SHOOT. one another, danced Tor joy at the had It cast up in his face by a thought of the gift Awbassi was sending. descendant of Harmodius that he was 8ome Famous Personages to Whom It The Ridiculous "Hen Derby" Insti* It*Tells of the Origin of Man'sSubjection Birds Thait Test the Skill of the Bett :-r 'J" a shoemaker's son he calmly replied. Meant Nothing. tuted by Sir John Astley. to Women. Marksmen. Thus men became the servants of "The nobility of' my family begins The making famous of 'the expression It is said that the crowning triumph There is a quaint old Nigerian legend We often hear the questiou as to women and have to work for them to with me yours ends with you." "I am my own ancestor" is usually of Sir John Astley. that inventor of that relates the origin of man's subjection which is the most difficult bird in the this day. Almost the same words were used credited to Andoche Junot. for a absurd contests, whose forte it was to to women. world to shoot. The answer is usually by Alexander Dumas when asked if he time a marshal of France. Junot had arrange races between animals which At the beginning of things, the legend given in favor of the pheasant descending The Sense. of Humor. were not descended from an ape risen from the ranks and-became the nature apparently had made most unsuitable runs, the world was peopled by with closed wings from a A man has-a sense of humor or he (covert sneer at his negro grandmother), Duke of Abrahtes and an important for the purpose, was the institution women only. One day the earth god. higher level of flight, though a few ha3 not. If he has not he cannot acquire "Very likely my ancestry begins figure at Napoleon's newly formed of the only races that ever Awbassi Nai. happened by accident to give the preference to the second barrel it if he has it by birthright he where yours ends." court. One day a nobleman of the old Cook place between chickens. kill a woman. On hearing this the rest shot at teal scared by the discharge cannot lose it with the passing of Voltaire in his "Merope" says: "The regime asked him what was his ancestry. The story Is that the idea came to gathered together and grayed that. If years. The only change as life goes of a first, barrel and darting upward first to become'king was a successful "Ah, sir." replied the spirited soldier, Sir John during a visit to a friend who he meant to slay them, he would bring on in one who has this inborn sense is and In any direction but that which is soldier. He who serves well his country. "I know nothing about It. I am kept a large number of hens. He noticed expected. 1 destruction on all together rather than that different things appeal to it from has no need of ancestry." my~own ancestor." Probably he had how rapidly the chickens used to kill them one by one. A bird which we have never seen' those that excited' amusement ip never heard of the similar remark scurry to their mother when food was Awbassi was sorry for the grief he mentioned and which yet might take a youth, but in this it is like other made by Tiberius about Curtius fiufus. thrown to her. This furnished the ingenious The Deduction. had caused and offered as compensation high place in the category is the sand mental faculties. As judgment mellows "There's a proverb that fits every "He seems to me to be descended Sir John with a clever notion, to' give them anything they should and- ripens, so the power of discovering grous^, It is not to be rated as an man." from himself." and at mess, be .then being quartered choose out of all his possessions. They those things that excite English bird of sport, but is familiar Napoleon's reply to the emperor of "What one fits me?" at Windsor, he accordingly unfolded begged him to mention what he had,to smiles becomes more discriminating. to shooters in the east, where it is shot Austria was in a kindred vein. The "To whom God gives office, he also to bis brother officers his plans for a give and said that they would all cry Humor is not a physical .^attribute to as it comes fighting to water holes to glvei brains." great chicken race. Austrian when Napoleoi^ became his "Yes" when he named the thing they fade as the body loses its youthful drink. Its flight is something like that prospective son-in-law would fiin have "But I have no ofljee." He bought from a farmer a hen and "wished to have. elasticity, but purely mental. Men of a pigeon, with very swift curves traced the Bonaparte lineage to some "Well, don't you see^ how It fits 7*— a brood of chickens. Each officer was Awbassi mentioned one by one all who possess it in goodly measure have and Undulations, and in its case again, petty prince of Treviso. "I, am my Cleveland Leader. to choose a chicken and mark it with his fruits, fowls and beasts, but at been known to smile on their deathbeds as In that of the Virginian mosquito own Rudolph of Hapsburg," said Napoleon. a ribbon, so that he could easily recognize each they shouted "No." At length over the very comedy of life.— Not to Blame. hawk. It is said that those who have Under similar circumstance it. The chickens were to be placed the list was nearly ended—only one Indianapolis Star. The Elderly Lady—They say his fecqulred the knack can kill it with a Napoleon silenced a genealogist, about fifty yards away from their wife has money. The Younger—Well, thing remained to offer. comparative certainty .which is the despair "Friend, my patent of nobility dates mother, and whichever of them reached that isn't his fault. They've only been "Will you. then, take man?" asked When a fool gets angry, he opens his of the novice. her first in answer to her cackle when from Montenotte," his first great Tie- Awbassi atlast. "Yesr they roared married a Short time. mouth and shuts his eyes. After all perhaps our pheasant aeroplaning food was thrown to her was to be adjudged downward must still be given the winner. the hisrhest marks for difficulty. for And so this ridiculous "hen Derby" we hear of no.one who presumes to came off in the barracks at Windsor say be has discovered any Infallible and was witnessed by nearly the whole knack by which this most perplexing brigade of guards, who traveled down and yet apparently simple shot can from London especially to see it. be^ brousrht off with,any great assurance.—Country The race was such a success that it Life. 1 was arranged to repeat it the fallowing week. It might possibly have become a regular institution and a racing LORDLY FORMALITIES. stable of chickens might have "been added to the attractions at Windsor Preparing a ,New Peer For Hie 8eat In had not Sir John's chicken won on House of Lords. each occasion with-such ease as to Numerous formalities have to be cause suspicion in the minds of his gone through before any new peer is competitors. Indeed, it was found, it entitled to take his seat in the house -W Is said, that in both races Sir John had of lords. !?r& selected a sturdy young cockerel who One of the most Important matters 1 was much too speedy for his sisters. Is the preparation of the patent, along When victory was a certainty for one strip of parchment to the end of particular competitor the contest, of which is affixed the wax seal, the color course, lost interest, and so the chicken of which varies, according to the rank races at Windsor came to a sudden of the new member. Another item is end.—New York Herald. the robe, made of scarlet cloth with three doublings of ermine, the number of bars varying according to rank. TURNER'S. AMBITION. Thus a duke has four bars in front and the same number behind, a marquis All these Leading Lines are Now The Great Painter Achieved It by one less, and so on. Years of Self Sacrifice. Then there are preparations in regard Turner could not bear to sell a favorite Ready for Your Inspection. Purchase to making or changing coats of painting. He was always melancholy arms, in connection with which fees to after such a transaction. "I the extent of about 50 guineas are paid lost one of my children this week," he Now and Get the Best Selections by the recipient of a summons to the would sadly exclaim. At a meeting at house of lords. Somerset House it was decided to purchase While the Stocks are New. Altogether the financial disbursements his two great pictures, the amount in the case of a new "Rise" and the "Fall of Carthage," for earl to between £600 and £700. some the National gallery. A Mr. Griffiths of which finds its way to the chancellor was commissioned to offer £5,000 for of the exchequer and some to the them. "A noble offer." said the painter, crown as represented by the college "a noble offer but. no, I cannot of arms. A considerable portion of part with them. Impossible." Mr. this expenditure is, of course, incurred Griffiths, greatly disappointed, took his •#.vv-y.v in the purchase of the coronet.—London leave. Turner ran after him. "Tell News. those gentlemen." he said, "that the nation will most likely have the pictures A Left Handed Man. after all.". Long before this "I never realized how unpopular a Turner had matured a purpose which left handed man can be until I joined continued to be his dominant idea a fishing club," said the man who cannot while life lasted. This was to bequeath do much with his right hand. "Socially to his country a Turner gallery I was all right, but when we began of pictures and to amass £100,000 to fish the rest of the fellows to build and endow an asylum for decayed couldn't get far enough away from artists. It was for this great me. There was another left handed object that he denied himself all pleasures man in the party, and we were shunted that cost money, all luxuries. Hia upstream, away beyond the best fishing resolve, once made, could not be shaken. holes. 1 am a good fisherman. On one occasion he was offered When alone I can manage rod and line £100,000 for the art treasures locked as skillfully as the next man, but up in the "den." "Give me the key when I go fishing with a lot of right of the house, Mr. Turner," said a Liverpool handed fishermen our lines tangle and merchant, "and here is the we get into a regular muss. 1 have money." "No, thank you," replied tried to learn to manage my pole with Turner. "I have refused a better offer." my right hand, but I haven't made And that was true. By his will much headway at it also I have noticed he bequeathed £140,000 to found an that right handed persons who asylum for poor artists born in England tried to become ambidextrous could and a magnificent art collection learn to. do everything with their left to his country. This latter bequest hand better than to fish."—New York Times. was. however, coupled with the condition that his "Rise and Fall of Carthage" should be hung in the National The Antiquity of the Ballet. Strictly defined, the ballet is properly gallery between Claude's "Seaport" a theatrical exhibition of the art of and "Mill."—London Graphic. dancing in its highest perfection, complying generally with the rules of the Didn't Give Him the Chance. drama as to its composition and form. Schopenhauer, when staying in Geneva, It was in existence in Italy as far back used to go every day to a table as A. D. 1500, the court of Turin in No Two Hats AliKe in Our Millinery d'hote at which now and then appeared that day making especial use of it and other distinguished visitors. the royal family and nobles taking Once Lady Byron sat next to him. Department., Every Hat Trimmed in part in It. The ballet'was first introduced "Doctor," said the host after she had in France in the reign of Louis left, with a twinkle in bis eye, "doctor, Our Store by Miss Julia (Inderson, St. XIII.. and both that monarch and do you know who'sat next to you Louis XIV. occasionally took part in at the table today? It was Lady Byron." its dances. About the year 1700 wQmen Paul's Most Artistic Trimmer. made their first appearance in the "Why the deuce did you not tell me ballet, which up to that time had been this before?" replied Schopenhauer "I performed exclusively by men. as was should have liked to be rude to her." the case also with plays and operas, "That was what I feared." said the but no woman ballet dancer of any host, "and for that reason I kept it note appeared until 1790. quiet" How She Caught Them. Very Thorough. "How did you happen to get four New Tork's collector of customs times as many letters as I did?" said was talking about smuggling. one washerwoman who had advertised "Smuggling must cease." he said. for work by the day to another who "We'll make It cease. If we have to be had advertised for the same thing. as strict and thorough as the French "Wound up my advertisement by customs officer. This strict officer, saying I was on a diet." said the lucky standing on the pier, frowned.on a one. "That 'on a diet' notice goes tourist with a swollen cheek. right to the heart of stingy souls who "What have you got there?' he said, are trying to cut down expenses. They pointing to the swelling. hate to figure on a washerwoman's 'An abscess, sir.' was the reply. meals and jump at the chance of getting 'Well.' said the officer Impatiently, one who doesn't eat.—New York Til. BURTON "7, •open it. please.'"—Washington Star. Sun. ax an 5, ^-. Sumner'e Ready Reply. & Linen Is obtained from the flax plant, Money Cheerfully. Refunded if Goods Are Not tisfectory, a small, delicate annual- with a tiny ChaHes Sumner when in London blue flower. The plant is pulled by gave a ready reply. At a dinner given -hand In the summer/ the.seeds, known in his honor be spoke of "the ashes" of In commerce as linseed, being removed some'dead hero. "AsTies! What American and the straw subjected to various English!" rudely broke in an Englishman. processes to- separate the fibrous part "Dust yon mean, Mr. Sumner. We don't burn our dead In this which constitutes the linen'. Flxst It Is country." "Yet," Instantly replied Mr. steeped In water and then passed through a dryingand beating process Itamner, with a courteous smile, "your on revolving wheels until all foreign poet Gray tells us that /Even In our ashes live their wonted fires.'" The matter is Removed.. It Is then ready American was not criticised again that for ninnfichm .. evening.—Argonaut. *S"~ Zt -^4 if Oi* a-**"-*. •*.