KKSRT OU REVIEW, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUAtTT 2& 188& IRfll WIT AHD flUMos. tion to the rescue." A Great Bateimaa. When, during the Austrian war, the A report comes from London that No, Paul, the window of the soul is f??F%*%\ there is a change in the fashion in dogs. German generals desired to push on and IPS* Hot a pane in the stomaob. Young ladies who have been wearing invade Hungary, Bismarck strenuously THE BEST AGISTS lorGenDodge's new book, It id an natality and fee time when English puss to match their complexion, opposed the project but his arguments the tbeitaometerit down to sera. trimmed with plastrons and things, were in vain. Chagrined at his failure .THIRTY-THREE YEARS AMONG OF ALL or the Italiah greyhound or KingCharTes to convince them, be suddenly left the EgyptWbulH sell any or all of its pyramids spaniel, cut entrain with jabot and polonaise, room, went into the next threw himself cheap for cash if it could find a will regret to learn that they have upon tbe bed, and wept and gro tned purchaser. Introduction by Gen. W T. Sherman. Contain* gone out of fashion, and they might as truthful and graphic record of the author's obserr*. aloud. "After a while," be says, "there It is said that great improvements will tions, thrilling adventures cxcitm? experience* well be given to the poor, or sold to the was silence in the other room, and then be made next year in railroad restaurant during 33 years araonsr the wildest tribes of the old rag-man. The new style of dog is the plan was abandoned" His tears Great West. Splendidly ll'ustrated with Steel FOB MAST AITS BEAST. sandwiches. Plates, Fine rngravm^s and Superb Chromo-Iath* the fluffy white Pomeranian, with a nose had conquered where his arguments bad For COUGHS, COLDS, SORE THROAT. BRONCHITIS, ASTHMA, PNEU ograph Plates in fifteen colors. Has received the You can fve a man the cold shoulder in point applique and shirred ears, or failed. unqualified endorsement of the most eminent men of R.ONIA, CONSUMPTION, TOLsBTtONCHifis,*0WtjbCHESTfoffmostkimportTSit.sLBytdanTrTOOAPACLUNGSLEDe For more than a third of a century tlu and not hart his feeling a bit if you only O the Maltese terrier, with a silk jacket our country Gen. Grint writes The best book His mode of life is peculiar. Being Mexican ftlusttutg Llnnnentkisbeiu Seratfimutton.It on Indian and Frontier Life ever written." Bishoa right should be a coldshoul- and velvet lingerieor something that known to millions nil ovor the world t" often sleepless, bis usual hour of rising Wiley, of Cincinnati, says A much needed book he pnly sale reliance for the rehe and one of immense value." Chicago Interior A is 10 in the morning. His breakfast is way. palm Boc accidents ana pain. I ia a medicnu book of standard and substantial value." Chicago "Never kiss anybody on the mouth," above piico and pniisothe beat oil. simple, consisting generally of a cup of CONSUMPTION li \m i advanced advance&.$e$li,n,Aj-a*..al..Hdiseaseanda.we stages and of the THKOAT.CHEST Advance: "No other book contains as fullaHd imliitis incipient ansd kind. For every louu of external pain says Dr. Hall, "unless you are reckless and LUNGS, but neverpropertiee been advantageously"conTpounded as**in'th_ (TAfTTbuildupaudarKeTirwrtithsot6*LU,lT6ccf Somebody to KnockDown. accurate account of the Indians.'' Chicago Tribune tea, two eggs and apiece of bread. At TOLU ROCK AN* RYE which i ONL l^sootlim ijftls/ipu affon a diffusive stimulan_ toni the $ect:lvt a/IVjnronAftnai1 -J-J _ uYr It reads like a rominco, and is far superior to anr MEXICAN of consequences." What, do they ever relieved^, The rage for the art-defensive has dinner he eats and drinks like a true a Privat Di Proprietar Stam 5100.on each bottle, which Sistein after t.ie cou0h of has be Quart size bottles. Price book ever published on the suhj~ct Th C/ucajA bite? No matterwe are reckless. ha enume,aoc taken possession of a number of young Pomeranian, copiously and freely. His Inter Ocean I vividly portrays the Indian jast n! A O O theT Pp Vi,LtIC,le1 men in this city, and one of its orst A young woman who has a wart on in princely appetite, indeed, is described nrim l}f *P BROWN'S IRON BETTERS are 999 AGEFTS Sr^Tg2aSrt?6 h?X victims is a young man employed in the her nose complains that when she has as being truly voracious. His table -a Sold by Urugffists, Grocers and lfcalera Everywhere, a certain core for all diseases Mustang Liniment is without an erjual office of a certain mining company. He groans with a superabundance of rich a cold in her head it makes her nose I penetrate* flesh, and mrtscle to xe- WITHOUT SPECIAL TAX OB LICENSE. requiring a complete tonic: especially siting thousands' It is the opportunity of a life* bought a pair of boxing gloves and and indigestible food, and dizzy concoctions warter. tne -eiy bonemaking the commit time for npid noney making! Remember, new TP8 n^, ROCK AND BYE CO., Proprietors, 41 River St., Chicago, 111 Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Intermittent mice of pnm trnd inflammatio imno practiced on the office boy and telegraph baok, superbly illustrate d, immense dcrrand, exclo. of champagne and porter, The zodiacal sign for the opening of E tble. It ffeel upon Human Flesh a 1 Fevers, Want of Appetite, nve territory ax Special Terms &end for illuatxatetl messenger boys with such success that sherry and tea. "The German people," llto Brute ntion are equally wonilci Winter is a goat. The goat is a hard circulars, with lull part.cUars, to IJOSS of Strength, Lack of Energy, iul. Th Mexican he felt certain he had mastered the said he on one occasion, alluding to the A. C NETYXSrON & CO., OhicagOo lib butter, andhard butter is almost always MUSTANG etc* Enriches the blood, strength* BUTTER COLOR manly art, md began to express himself many hampers of his known favorite lolls,Richardson & (Vs a sign that the weather is cold. ens th/i muscles, and gives new as wondering how much Sulliv in meats, fish and fruits sent bim from all PERFECTED life to the nerves. Acts like r, "He's grown to be a polished gentleman, would give him to stand up to him quarters, "are resolved to have a fat R SO^S-mUTR FOR charm on the digestive organs anyhow," said an old lady, gazing The lars-eat Butter Bayers recommend lto tut, KGives Butter tl"Ut^dged color the jroar roaad. eight or ten rounds, fio confident was chancellor." CURES WHFRE ALL ELSE FAILS. Csexi by all the beat Creamene*. Awarded the lata* removing all dyspeptic symptoms fondly as she spoke at the shining bald Liniment is needed by somebody 5 1 Thousand3 aatioaalDfplomaatiwherotopptIitS. of Dairy i a siy Iy PERFET. youCr Best Cough Syrup Tastes good. Dair Fai he that he could "knock out" any man A Ur riristormerrhantforlt rwritaakwntttl*,ir Sometimes, like lesser folk, Bismarck \rion every house. Every day brings new 31 such as tasting the food. Belching WLLS, RlCHARDSOir COu Bnnlataia,Bi head of her son, just returned after a Use in time. Sold by druggists. EjJ Itco'ts the agony of an nwful staid 01 lu of his iuches, and so persistent is be has hts of the blues and of brooding rani S^|^Ml^^HiSlf^HE^Fm jf" Heat in the Stomach, Heartburn long absence. subdued, of rheiimntlc martyr 1 ^T^ in obtruding invitations to a sparring which can scarcely be wondered at when Etoiert, or a valuable liorxe or *tc The only Iron Preparation Previous to 1760 the French would not bout on every small boy that entered saved by th healing powci 01 this consider his self indulgence at the that will not blacken the teeth or LINIMENT eat potatoes, it being supposed that they the office, that his fellow clerks determined table. On these occasions he distresses give headache. Sold by all would cause freckles. What harm would to put up a little job on him, A those around him by the most forlorn gists at $1.00 a bottle weeping and it have been had there been a freckledfaced )ir ot professional bruiserknown as one of reflections. Once he declan that he rnrt \o iu something riareb BROWN CHEMICAL CO nation? the best light wi'ights in the country had made nobody happy by his public migl an I ul lime lav behind which speedily cores such ailments vi Baltimoir J.* to onqu i tim* C6 a week in was interviewed and the arrangements Said a doctor to a lady patient: "You actsneither himself, nor his famIv the HUJKIM FLESH as \riir OVMI town 5 outfit free ttii* all I-on 3'ttirls iarsiai 1 ov "i Bhimnttiim, Swellings, GtiP I i SEEDS perfected. must take exercise for your health, my nor his country. "I h*ive had," he went [For the WIERCHAMTaaflHL."^^'^ i4 i 1 &e orsi No ri'-k E\t r\tlng new Fmrm CARDENER" Joint*. ontructed Bluacleg, Bum In oider to make the thing work dear." "All right," she said "I'll on, gloomily, "little or no pleasure out \V will im- you evirylh nfc For the MARKET tal ft required ow and Scald*, Cuts, I 1 i a and fortune* Ludic make as much Mam aiemukin smootnly, it was necess try to have a jump at the first offer." They were SEEDS of all I have doneon the contrary, Tor tho PRIVATE FAMILY Sprains, Poisonous Bites i QM md glils naktgieit pa Ria a*, men md ho sacrifice, and one of the would-be boxer's Stings.StUrnesn, Lnmrncn, Ol.l married shortly afterwards. much annoyance, care and trouble." In rown by ourselves i 1) Mm it which \nu can der il ant Stores, Ulcers. Frostbites, nilblain Pfl il'th turn wnte for partu mar* fellow clerksa young man of about brighter moods, he takes all this back, mak (_nuf "What is a virgin forest?" asked an More Nipples* lateed Breast, a i il Ilanddouie IUnatrated CeCaJecae n4 Rami Resteer FREE O ALL. Co Po Uund, Maine no*. 29 toll HAILI/I & bis own size and age, whom he bad frequently and revels, with almost boyish exultation, Indeed every form external diocese. auditor. "Phwat is a vairgin forest is ^CHANTS, SEND S YOTTR BVS1NEMS CARDS FOR TRADE 11ST. I heals %ithont scan. knocked about with the gloves in the splenaor of his state strokes A it ye want to know? A vairgin forest, For the BBUTB CREATION it ure I l?ORTHs consented to assume the somewhat 8 and the new face he has put upon tbe Cheapest Bibfes^Sr^rU^. sur, is one phwere the hand of man has Sprains, Swinujr, StlflT Joints, disagreeable role. At the time appointed rounder, Harness Sores, Hoof IHs world's events. niver set fnt, bedad." uiv Hall -rIon New I "J Ki WANTED eases, Foot Bat, Screw worm. Seal., the professional appeared at the office "Where is my dog?" was Bismarck's HENS LAV Hollow Horn, S retches, Windfalls. "And what do you call that?" asked ia i|i no ^aritua aad Cataiiit. aea ^ov ,:50 bo and inquired for the secretary. first exclamation when, on his last visit Spavin, Thrash. Rlnbons, araT.tiaf is taia ..anirr say* Mt Boat af ifca )TI1E the inquisitive visitor, pointing to a mutilated Uorar u4 Cattle i*ow era -*l bar. are wartk Old Sores, Poll vU, Film npon "Not in anything 1 can do for you?" to Vienna, be alighted from the railway MThat is a torso," replied Chicago &North-Western ItM traata. ay mat Sa^r.ilaa'a Cuadiuaa statue. tiytesiiM the Sght end every olh.r ailment asked the boxer. train. Never did a man cherish a fond Powder' are ab olilelv aura aad imnmiely Parent* to which the occupants I he the sculptor. "H'm," muttered rraluatili a like Skendan** Or udlt I ownrri Doee. 1 leaspoonrat i ii trtL Mill ilce hen* l: affection for the brute creation than this Stablan Stoeh Yard are liable. The professional had his neck swathod _. _^_ Rail wv Is the tC 1 pint too 1 all far laUar-ataaapa I N JO*O 4 Co.. Borrow M*j ^uid ever* wh re or sunt by the visitor, "but how did it become tore- fewcundor njury ei Itl^s Mil he exican Mustang Itnlin?nt Jlioni, apnr rated and workinn king maker and world mover. He in a handkerchief, spoke with great effort, OLD ESTABLISHED SHORT LINE alwacures and never disappoints. so?" force doubled ?rorr work aid 1 omes ma le hap! Fe watched by the side of his dying Sultan as if suffering from a severe cold, And tne io ADDIVMW W JOW8. re nurned now entitled mnj and positively. PaA!L ROUTE A man at a hotel fell the whole length Gr^ts e it INCREASE UMITEDSTaTES FAST as he might have done over a favorite and looked so meek and innocent generally THE BEST M epataMa a*4 ITtewer mmm* Oatolacaa IW anIBa Pay i 1) scharges procured Deserters entitled t of a flight of stairs. Servants rushed to lift wtObeaaat Fan to all who apply Custoasets ef CHICAGO It ia the Great Thoroughfare xrrm child, and begged to be left alone with that he was about the last man a nd to laat aaaaoa aead aet write tot it All aeeU acat trom my pick him up. They asked him if he him in the final nour. When the faithful novice would have taken for a puze aatahllaaaiaat aranaaied te be bothfcaeaaad troe to najae, ho ght in Isold TheWORLp&89LPIER."l^"jr ae far. that ahewld it prove otharwue I aa-rec to tesU the was hurt. "No," he replied: "not at old friend gasped his last breath, pip r) Sai ipl copv free Send stamp for full instrucMon, tighter. aider fietia. My cellectioa of vcgatable seed is oae of LINIMENTS blanks & tountytible N W FITZCrRAUD & COj at all. I'm used to coming down that the moat esteasive to be foead in any Amcncaa caulogwe. Bismarck, with tears in his eyes, turned And all points in Northern Illinois, central, "No," he said, in answer to the question, and a large part of It la of my ewa Krowioe Aa tka nsion Pat ut & Lan Att vs Washington. D' way. I'm a life-insurance agent." Eastern and Northwestern Ioua erlgUel latradaeer Keriy OMa mad Barkaak to his son and said: "Our German "I jest come down from Virgin ny, retiata^a, Xaralehead Early Cmrm. the Maakard I Jan, 15 83. Wisconsin, Northern Michigan, Minnesota, forefatheis had a kind belief that, after aVtaaSTilarklcliced Oakkawe, hlaeey*a Mdem, One of the Aides on the military staff OF ALL and I've got a letter to Mr. JDaLota, Manitoba, Central and and a score ef other new Vegetables I invite the patron death, they would meet again, in tbe Northern kebrimha, Colorado, Wyoming, of the Governor of Ohio has wounded I of the publie la the gardens and on the (arms of and if he won't be long, I guess I'll .i in i i ntJ. those who plant my aeed will be found my best advertiseaat. Utah, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, L celestial hunting grounds, all the good himself in the leg three different times wait." James M. Orecery, Marblchead Mass. Cnlif-rnia, Oregon, Washington Territory, rhelr- iling Hf?'Furmshiag Hov. FOB MAN OB BEAST. dogs that had been their faithful companions while trying to draw his sword, but he Butl-h Columbia, China, Japan "Oh, he'll be in in a few moments of the Northwest the Sandwich Islands, Austrathi, 2fe%i in life. I wish I could believe is going to persevere until he can cooper Sit down and make yourself at home." Zealand, and all principal points in the 155 FA ST Tmm or S PAUL. that!" For children Bismarck has an the proper style. In a few moments the secretary returned NORTH, NORTHWEST and WE3T. DIAMOND (old stand) HatIUH Ft inter. ardent fondness, and his bright little With its own lines it traverses North and was soon followed by a A man named Barrel! lives in a town ern ILLINOIS, Central and Northern n's Furnishers .md Shirt makers grandchildren are the very joy of his select few who had been invited, who in the western part of the state. His IOW WISroVSIN, Northern MICHI- CATARRH old age. On every occasion he seems to dropped in to chat for half an hour, it friends say: "If you flour Barrell with GAN, MINVESOTA, and Central DAKO- take delight in humoring and pleasing TA. It offers to the traveler all accommodations being after business hours. Of course whisky he gets staving and hoops 'er up that can be offered by any the young. Curiously commingled in the conversation was soon untried on REMEDY, so loudly that a policeman chimes in and railroad Its train service equals that bis large nature are sentiment and the subject of boxing, and the boxer immediately heads him for the cooper some other of any road, their speed is as great as OF EVEEY KIND CHEAPER THAH ETSB. satire, kindness and humor. comfort and safety will permit, they brought out his gloves and place of confinement." 1 Poaitlvw Cure for Catarrh ell bifles, Shot Cans, Revolvers, Amnnmi make close connections in union depots There can be no doubt of Bismarck's challenged any man in the room to a vludM. it Ui luatautaneouat k.flc tion, Fishing Tackle, Seines, ot8, at junction and terminal points with A party of young men dined sumptuously nd Periua aent iu ICe-ult Cur*e at any sturdy personal courage. One striking Knives, Razors, Skates, bout. the leading railroads of the We^t and fWmh jear and in at a restaurant and each one insisted is now DiaJe fo* 11 a or the diseasi 11 cureJ cases to terrible Hammocks, ete. Northwest, and offer to those tLat use incident in his career has proved th it to We continue to "Keep quiet about your boxing," said buuea earae ft om th^ nose on paying the bill. To decide the them has a reeoi\l of unqualified success. Large Illustrated Catalogue FREE. act assohcitorsfor all time. One day in 1866, as be was Dr. Uror|*s ltiamond Catarrh fern* the secretary. "There's that little fellow matter it was proposed to blindfold the GREAT WESTERN GUN WORKS SPEED, COMFORT AND SAFETY patents, caveats, It was the fir-.t ma Jo and has been 13 linklauU pleaaaui aa rdinj tmmtJtais returning from tbe palace tlnough the over there, onlj a Comstock miner, trada-marks, copyrights, etc for waiter, and tbe first one he caught A CHICAGO it makes close cormection tcllerand prompt cur in all ciseeoi atarrh, PITTSBURGH, PA. Unter den Linden, he was shot from behind brought to periccLion while competing tbe United States, and to obtainpatents and I suppose he never had the gloves with all other railroads tth *-citv liHucuza Hay Fevor Bronrbttis. CENTS should pay the bill. He hasn't caught by an assassin. He turned short, It runs PALAIE SHAPING CMt on in Canada, England, France, It will i, m\e Polyp an i eiTc tualljr enra and imitating machines have been on in his life, and I'd gimble that he any of them yet. a ll through trains, PARLOR CARo its atcrv "\nd Pu ulont Discb irjrps i the Bea Germim, and all other countries. seized the miscreant, and, though feeling could get away with you." made for only one or two son sons principal routes, and MRTH-",VI T FRN T*iroi, and Fetir Sufceninsr Bn*ath, An Illinois court has decided that a himself wounded, held the man with Tlnrty-six ears' practice N DINJNG Cut's its COU,CI BIUrF* .ctly iest impaired Smell, Taste an I Healing 4 "He could, could he? Here, young and some of tnem are ad*titled charpo io examination of models or drawings woman's lie about her age doesn't vitiate ^lieve Htadafhe. Brea up rol is In the Head, and its S \ULand MINNE IPOLIS iron grasp until some soldiers came up. fellow, just take these gloves, and put through day express trains Ad\ ico by mail liee this year for the fii ^t time. cnnthen tho lirind 1 1 nr I e"n -t a her insurance policy. The Judge He then walked rapidly home, sat down If you wish the Best Traveling Accommodations up your props." nd He n'ler (lear and Active err O ganof tho Patents obtained through us are noticed WANTED! Ladies and Gentlemen, to engage you will bn/ yonr li^kets It uses small iip\ponsivc cord, thought that if they expected a woman with his family and ate a hearty dinner. lead at Throat Pri c, cents. the SCiaVTIFIC AMERICAN, which has with us to sell several Useful Ilonseholil "No." said the professional "I'm by this route AND WILL TAKE NONIL OJAMOND to tell the truth on that point they* deserved After the meal was over he walked up to Articles. l'roOts large. Labor I light. ne\cr falls to bind evei} bundle and the largest culation, and is most mfluSmial OTHER. afraid of you, but I'll tackle that other Exclusive territory gi\en. No competl to be swindled. nowapnpe i olitslmd published in the For rotes for single or round trip his wife and said: "You see 1 am quite is the LIGHTEST DRAUGHT, t-on Term*liberal Circulars FREE Address, young fellow," pointing to the gentleman INVIG-ORATOr,. rackets and for full mfoimation **e- sroild. The ad-vantngesot such a notice every well," adding, "vou must not be anxious hetritt Manafaot'g Co., Box 868, Pittsburgh, Pa. Said the owner of the pottery-works MOST DURABLE AND BEST ?ard all pqrts ot tho West North nud who had been selected as the sacrifice. ratentee undoi stands my child. Somebody has fired at Northwest, write General P^se ger in reply to a question by a visitor: "No, vorjV Diam Its ator is Thislaige and splendidly lllustiate newspapei FINISHED MACHINE in tho A NEW CURE FOR Agent, a Chicao-o, 111 me but it is nothing, as you see. It i irlid Itlood -'mitier, 1 j-j.et JC aid ia published tVECKLI at $3 20 a ear, we never have any work lost. If a dish All Coupon Ticket Agents ecH Tickets "I don't care if I do go you around," maiket. ervt)'8 osii It in tkts. a (It liglitl I by this Line TATOpUGS tudis admitted to be th best paper devoted was the first intimation she had of the or cup comes out badly, so that it cannot said tbe sacrifice, and at it they went, me iml, ttltich Itvigorates, i*ui.nes J. D. LAYNG, MA-RVTST KUGHTTT, to science mechanics,inventions, engineering Any one 'who buys the DrERDO attempted tragedy.Brooklyn Eagle. be sold for the purpose for which it id Strenstthens tl tun i.m and the professional went to the floor Gen Sup f. 2d ice 11 aud ue Manages works, and other depainnents industrial e* BINDER avoids every chance of tiouble Gcncr.l Ut.tilit lyppe|si\, Bil OL^IIC, W STENNSTT, is intended, we dispose of it for bric-abrac" piogress, published anv countiy Single every round, and allowed himself to be J1" I 'ic 4- rp 1 Li It lipid Nuri Gun Pas Aj t, Chicago 'lc or failuio in tho haivtst. copies mail, 10 cc/tts. Sold by all newsdeal A careful father was about entering knocked around like a foot-ball but occasionally ic Arttoti ns, ui act, tUr i, 1 tnlrntj ers AND ALL TROUBLESOME VERMIN. ns i ^i hua ir i a 11 i lmy i "is ita, his library the other day, when he he would get in an apparently Jones having invested in a silver mine MANUFACTURED BY A d-ics, Munn &, Co publishers of Scientific t3 i iv I ure i ts FOK) I lsfcHVlV HHIUli M, 5 Baft sure cleinlv ind choap Sample Package, PotPiid beard some one inside indulging in accidental sidewiper on the ribs that is puzzled. He has been called upon William Desring. *y\15i'nutif}!nt:t! 4 uniuli Ampucia, 201 Bioadwav, New lork Afck yonr Drusalw fortlir-^ .Vmrdand V) cts AGFNT-. WANTED Address, shocking profanity. He listened, and O i.i{ KEM0 would make the sactihee snort like a for an assessment to build works for reducing Hjjiooo about patents mailed tiee. bb 1A 1 take otli r: 1 i F. XX. Johnston, Pittsburgh, Pa. l E i. 0 1NIO SOi-MrL I* i it discovered that the culprit was his 14- ree recti {it price. porpoise and wish he had not accepted the ore. He always thought the nj' I I He ra CHICAGO. 1I0S1GAUNSTRUMENTS -scrlptive Pain Free Vi tl ru year-old son. "I'll skin him!" he hissed, the job of being a sacrifice. The round object of mining was to increase the ore. THE MILLER BROS.CUTLERY CO. Hit 'sl'l IOU 1 Rian. tl I Ot I I LUO((_! \)r 1 lr in an undertone, seizing a small isure to 7 i 1 Manufacturer also of being finished, the profession il dropped But Jones is not an expert and he don't Mspf a! nd for sale very cheap. or onin nl lio MERIDEN, CONN. O Box 9"fl0 1 I -cif X| f5 theB rr-rtrt cane and bursting into tbe library. His into a chair apparently completely exhausted, *v A know much any way. sj^Cata'oguoG free. Address, RiCHflRD ITIB EsBiing Light Eeappp, Tte I^ins anger quickly vanished, however, when coughing as if in the last stages 9 JLL Box 368. Pittsburgh, Pa. Some one pinned a card of "Warranted 1 I1Q! rill 4 I I Woweis, and ike iiaadsi lit^eis. PATENTS be discoveied his mistake. His son was of consumption, and declaied tnsit the 1 Ill.i 1 Fresh" to tbe cloak of a Cbic igo simply leading aloud one of BretHarte's doctor up at Virginia City had pronounced woman, the other day, and she walked dialect poems.?%e Judge. his ailment a despeiate case of STANDARD POCKET CUTLERY, the streets for two hours with it. Now pneumonia. The would-be boxer, however, i Bar.. CDTKEB. URUYDIttE. MKiiftS, OF had no compunctions about knocking Ladles' Scissors and Ink Erasers. her husband wants to give one hundred Make all styles of Sound Doctrine. out a dying man. All he wanted dollars for the name of the miscreant STEE PENS. One of the professors of Princeton IIOI FS\IE was somebody to knock out: so he said raggists, who did tbe advertising. college in his address to the students to the professional: "Young fellei "Come here, my little fellow," said a CAN I OBTAINA PATENT called attention to the ict that there when you get your wind, I'll go jou "U show cutof Patent Adjustable Quill ActionReiervoirrw, gentleman to a youngster of Ave years, "The Acmei" will mill samplegrossonreceiptoffl was too much athletics in the colleges some myself." Send a rough nk(eh or (if on c nl i mcxlpl of vour while sitting in a parlor where a large and not enough brain work. He said Invantloit toKOBK ,Ll 3io, WiusliinaH. INVhAllluNe I lilhltU uJltlll company was assembled "do you know "Oh, I'm afraid you'd make a corpse ten. tt.C, aud a ratllntiiaury Lxusulatutloaa one is impressed with the fact that in meP(' "Yeth thir." "Who am IP" my-itill, in most fe, he patented IJJ UH Bern* will ba made of nil United HlatCH pntents of Uia of me," was the reply. |)()ositethe S *a ent Office, ml enticed sti oiling about the colleges of the country aaDoaciaaaut laventlons id jouwl 1 beauviaae. Ml^^ G?*Our -n-Violo line of Peng will be sold by the trade. "You ith the man who kithed mamma "Oh, come on," said the boxer, "I *r PAIL, ATBNTBUSIM-SIXCLUSl\fcL we can ,e wbather or not a p&ieni cau be obtained 6J"1 nca ots furru^ied to dealers on appUMUoa nothing can be beard about educational ure pjtentHin le timeth in tho-e who are le FOB THIS rRKtlWIXAItY EXAMINA~ when papa was in Albany." won't hurt you I'll just tap you light." matters and the subject of books ict* from Washir ft HI and ho IIIUM iepend up 1IOH N O CUAUOJC I S MADE. At last, and with much seeming reluctance, What will a Patent Cost? nt b* msilfcin a ansattion^ with the itPnt "How do you fl*el, my little man?" seldom enters the minds of the students, the professional consented, tttce asked a youth of his sweetheart's little but athletic spoits occupy their whole IA bi Whentnrentorfcte mode lor *kete we mike and the boxing proceeded. E\ery little If yon ara -drla*d that roar invention ii putBtMla.Mnd brother. The young fiend looked up at time and attention. This professor has th in tbe Patei i ithceand ml vise tstoitu ia SSe to pay Oovernmeut application tea while the profession il would send in on aitiibilit riixoi't HAH QI Currespon lence,.. him sidewise, aud with a grin responded: sti uck a key note, and called attention f aad B tor UtadrMMinga required by tbe iestial, ptkeo lo and NO CHAKOt 'iNLl-b* the boxer's nbs a whacking blow, which, ttortrameut. This la parable when application ia "I feel just as if I'd like to have a to an evil that should be stopped. A TfcNT IS OflTA^J fc.D nada and iaall of tbeexjeus uiileM a patent 1al- to the inexpiuiencedeje and to the boxer dime." He got it, but his prospective *"e refer Hon. I'mniiter Uener.il Kej moderate dose ef athletic sports mixed lowed Whan allowed Uie altoriu*!:,*2 ont Vi himself, was the result of sheer awkwardness. the Itniil Ooverniaent fre (flute iti ii ablt ritua ev ft Powdei, official* in the S Puttit brother-in-law now avoids tbe health in with a thorough college education you know beforeh.iad. A uatnt ne belhi cm ate ce,andenpecirtll our clients every bt ite The boxer con tint his question. folnf tom a patent or not and no attorney's fe will not injure the \oung men who are the Union nd in .natla For special tefereti Meharxad ualaaa yow do set a Patene A attorney sparring to attempts to hit his antogou teim,dvice, ft Addreiv graduating from the colleges of the He was a lisping drummer and had a waoaa lea dapaiil* on In* Kucct-m in otanlnlnc a ist's face, and he \a occasionally allowed A A Co., Patent will not advice i that \ocir tii\eiition ia country, but when tbe students get the pretty good opinion of himself. He said Oppo-lte Pat nt orhce, V\ **h patentable unlesw it ro t\ ia 'toit^ble an far aa to get in a light tap, just idea, as they seem to have, that muscles bia bei Judgmentc tn ai I in termln ne the qnratlon,hence to bis partner at a dance in a town not to give him confidence but the whacks you oan rcl on th iri\ Kc trMeimrter like a prize-fighter and a hand like far from Boston, "I wanth you'th to PEOPLE WHO LI VE a prebmlaary ec nl itio i W 1 A ftttntmn Pat. on nis ribs soon began to tell, and soie -&&MU& t&<y&iA*>u%. Hta and the B"l( atloti or lutbfi a 1 rsiit* a base-ball is all that is essential to a understan' that I'm no ordinary wunner. Utarka and R*-iwc tnrxl aieala rrepirecl and panting he sank into a chair and *g ttit line ot and near to the old*r PAUL college education, then it is time for a I belong to tbe firm of Jones & ind HI I V, i'(n in re\lvor of Rav SIOUX CITY RAILROAD and iis various declared that there was no use in putting LYDIA E. PINKHAM'S lerlrd.Ab Lnt.n-ci. rorfeitiiraaeaniFde leform. There is no question but that Thun. My father is Jones and I'm thee Btancb Li us, now part of the ^i5^o,St.l wryo ten raluj lie invent i unrcmittd in tbes* science against mere strength. one-half of the young men in college cl-vwenof ca.i-*s If^.Mh u:iditnkrii to Recur* Thun." VESETABLE COMPOUND. '"iirown patent uul fniUcl. a feilllul lmndllneof The pugilist then gave a few illustrations think vastly more of cultivating their "Protoplasm," remarked the Professor, ttiocnae mar let' tosneress Riu nip a ritten re- of his art, and showed how he muscles thin they do of cultivating IUP tadlrosaed to tho Commissioner of Patents Is a Positive Cure iipoli^ & On(iil\a it|e "is composed of carbonic acid, water worked it to get in those side-winding bat herecosuiaeGLiMtOF Lutis W nsblnjfon, their brains, and it is time tbe colleges aa ronr attornoj in the ens* glTlnetba and ammonia, in which compound for all those Patnfkil Centplnlnt* an A We.tinetHi body blows, lie had not proceeded far! title of the Invention and about the date of fUinr of tbe country were transformed from a common toour beat female pepulatlou. know that UiUlatUe *liort and quick Line to all the water largely predominates. To our application An T-minatioftnd report will however, before the would-be boxer point* in CenUal and Weatern Minsouri to all It will cure entirely th* won* form of Venial* Com- The gymnasium into a school for cultivating -ost ou nothing, hearclirs made title to inveaiona, Is a compound of the rirtne of Mnaparil* lead?"J what conclusion does this puiata in Kaaxaa, Mbr*ka Colorado Tei IN, "tumbled," so to speak. ptainU, all orerfan trouble*, laflamniatloB and Ulcer* la fact any Information relating to Patents the intellect Millions of dollars have California, Ariaoma, N and Old Mexico, aim la, Ktillingia, tuandrake, \ello\v dock, with pupil was a boy and not easily staggered. omptlr furnish ad Copies or rafnta mailed as tlon, Falling and Maplacementa, and tk* eoneequont Miat thin ia th* 0ly Urn* between Mtxmeuotm been spent in erecting colleges, and ha *nlar Uovemment raten, SSe each JJ* he iodide of potash and iron, all powerful "I see how it is boys!" he exclaimed Spinal Weakness, and to parUouIarly adapted to tbe He answered* "It leads to the conclusion nied the CMM liemher tliiaorBoe haa t-sen in mirrewf ul operarloa 4|you played a cold deck on meall blood-making, hlood-t leaiisiiiR, anl life.au* thousands of dollars are yearly spent in Chang* of Ure. inca 1M6 and y therefor* rvap th- h nefita mt that dad never takes any protoplasm JUMPtGH 7 GREAT CITIES tainiiif tuetits I IH the purest, safeet, It will disBoir* and *ipeltaBion rro the nteruefn xnerienee, beaidee reference enn bo riven to aen^l sending young men to these schools of right please imbibe at my expense." in his'n." rllnu In almost erery countr in t' 8 aud most effectual alteratixe medicine of tba po'pTToTaTTIiiaouTrTaney, namely an early atageof d*T*bpment The tendency to can learning*and keeping them there, to CEO. relatingE. LEMON. The boxing gloves are now locked up vamphiet to Patents free upon rea.naaC know i at ailahle to the public The aci *rou humorstheretochecked TerrspeedUy by IteUM. MM MT City, Cmmnett Ulntt,, 0mm A Southern three-miles-an-hour rail* have them graduate, or leave in a few in the office safe.San Francisco Call. ernes of liiedit hie andtheunstrj have never J*eph. AtchiBiin, eaten It remoTee falntneae, flatulency, destroyaall crating road has started a chicken trainv Hcqs 615 15th St., WAHIIIVtVroW, 3 ears with nothing to show for their warlAand mn%mCHy prodiu etl so altiulilc a remedy, uo one so for stimulants, and relieve* weakness of the stomach. a a are gathered up at way stations,' and Attonieyat-T iw and nlc*ttirn Araer Th It Pan I ft iioux Citj Railroad, now known potent tome all diseases retulttn Irom time spent in college except a knowledge It caret Bloating, Heed&chea, Hervona Prostration is tbe Wetlern iiti\ of the Clue igo, eaa and rrel|cn l'at*-nt i Couldn't Understand It. on reaching^ the terminus the eggs impure blood I mes Scrofula and General ItobUlty Sleeplessness, Depression and Indl of how to row a boat pr play a Haul, Minneapolis k, Om ina Line, is aU the f*im Absolutely Pure. all scrofulous diseases, Krysipel**, geetlon. which they have laid while to route are Last week a commission house which nnet Mttrect t.tne Iroan central ant Western Allli game of ball. It is seldom one bears Rose, S Anthony's Fire, Pimples That reeling of bearing down, *nt1ng pain, weight neaota, Wea'eri. Iowa, Dakota Nebraska and the sold. By this means people at the further does busines on the Board of Trade for of tbe progress of the several classes in and Face-giitbs, Pustules, Blotches, and backache. Is always permanently cured by Its us* soutb-Wem to end are kept supplied with fresh country dealers, received a visit from a the colleges except it be in the line of Boils, Tumois, Tetter, Humors, ST. PAU L, MINNEAPOLIS^ Thi-. poudd ne\ 1 \an A muvel tl It will at all times and under all circumstances act In ci- tne ecommu eggs. By the old plan thejr always large stranger with a highly inflamed niolii aid v\h mei Salt Rheum, Scald-head, Ring-worm, boat-racing or winning a game of baseball, harmony with the law* that gorern the feninlo system. Hi 11 ih oidiinr Kind'- nnot bo s-old and tbe entire North and North.VV est, aud to the spoiled. nose and otherwise decidedly sensational Ulceis, Soies, Rheumatism, Slerctirial For tho cureor Kidney Complaints of either sex this or hazing a fellow member, and unless 1 ipttm in ivitli hi multitude flow te^t hhor Lumber Districts ol Northern WI*COIIKJII. Disease, rVeuralgia, Female Weaknesses Compound is unsurpassed. Eli Perkins and Sojourner Truth met aspect. \v gtit ilum 01 pli si hitc piwdii- Sold there is a reform inaugurated, and Jt St |aN/counectioua are ide with 'lie and Inegularities, Jaundice, LYMA. E. PIMHIAM'S VEGETABLE COMPOUND the other day for the first time. Eli was "You bought some oats for mea tianlern IHtntmn of the Chicago, St iul, Aim 1 1 1 in*- Rowa BAMNO IOWDEROO 0 the colleges pay more attention to books Affections the Liver, Dvspepsia, ia prepared at 333 and S& Western Avenue. Mi 1 Dec 1 83 leapohs kOniaValine lor Northern and itia' quite overcome, and remarked: "Is it thousand bushels, didn't jer?" and less to athletic sports, the public Emaciation, and Geneial Debility. Lynn, Mass Piice$L Six bottlesf or )B Bent by mail iMiionsin, and .o Chicago and all points hast possible that you have lived to be 100 "If your name is" began the head In tbe form of pills, alsolntlio form of lozenges on and the running of trains i au arranged th it i*- will soon think that the sending of our .1 'soir ita sedHlmiK and cleansing qualities sengerv irom the Western Dhision ot th. liU years old and we never met before? receipt of price, $1 per Hox for euher Sirs PinLham of the firm. li pa 111 r, young men to college is a useless piece OLS it purges out the foul coiruptious which an have trom one to one and one half hours aee freelyansnersfillettersof inquiry Send for paraph Where could 1 have been?" "Wandering "Potts, yes, sir. Potipher Potts, of containinate the blood and cause derangement of extravagance. As it now is there i.eud to bu iness in St aul it desired let. Address as above Slai'ion this Paper Mvniifn ttir i 1 1 1 1 i 1 in paths where truth is never found, I and deca It stimulates aud euhtens Pottsville, Pott county. You wrote me When yon fo South or South Wctbesui aie more young men from the bottom jtijysjvfM en.in S*JII TI 1 he \ital fumtions, ptoinotes energj' and to over this Line tnronglttht neve a Big- t,iile reckon!" pointedly returned No family should b boat LTJIA E PmmA3I'3 on a circular that $10 would buy a of the ladder of mercantile life, and and when yo go north, east or noithwcst, co strength, restores and presertes health,and UVEn PiLLS Iney u.* con-rt ation, biliousness Mi ipm flittf/ er.vmp, le. tenarian. thousand bushels of oats and 1 sent you from the faim, filling the countingrooms, Ihtough Ht ant the Ureal Batlroatt i miiistb ncn lift and Mgoi throughout the aniL-* n-iillty of th* liver 35 cen*i per box A 1'vittUir U[)i elf 1 i" neitl}repui It is now alleged that the rings seen the grea tN 011 h*v eet the money." jJ3~ SoM by all Druggists. -45a and the college graduate is who'e system N sufTerei from anv disease of a tree are no certain Two i-sengei trims daily, St. iul to Clucnj section1 on the "Yes," replied the commission man. which ansts fioiu luipmity of the forced to the farm or a lumber-yard to A LABGE T(K OP I I HOL-TERFD GOODS AND through Llroy and Madison, with pullraan Pali blood need despau who will gi\e A\EU'S indication of the age of the tree. It is "Well, I want the oats." earn a living. The Princeton professor PURMTIKE AI WAYS KIPT ON HAND ^leepnis Cais or ench train. SAKSAI'MUIIA a fair ttial. i the same with the Tings on a girl's fingersthough THUOUGI TICKETS Oitleis in ul otnpth att urted "The oats have been sold, and there is sound and he should be supported in It is folh to expenment with the numerus when' her digits are garnished is a profit of fifty dollars to your credit his theories.Peck's Sun. BALSAM.1 PARKER'S HALR 453W-cottta,Ccr.Eight St., ST PAUI ei tills ionte are on sale it all principal stations low-priced mixtiues.of theap materials, with half-a-dozen, the inference on our looks." Be sure-and buy a through ticket as thry are gen a nd without medicinal nitues offered as is, that, although she may be 30 years "Sold! you sold my oats! What in rally cheapei but if yoa cannot get ihc ticke! ^The Best, Cleanest and CURES blood ptuiliers, while disease becomes more ou desue or the 'lirrm tlion uite^ about i ite^ old, she lacks the sense of the average most Economical Hair Sawing (Wade Easy. thunder did you do that for? Who told Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica, hrml heated A^nts SAHAI \UILLA IS a oniiections, &c at your home si tion, write Dressing' girl in her teens: Ages of the World's Bulera. medicine of such concentrated curative you to sell my oats?" Lumbago. Backache Head cb Toothache, SeraTails to Rnstore tie uiulergigned, aud yotu letter will teceiv power, that it is far the best, cheapest MoreTli- out Knelling* |i-iie.fitt^*ea. The Almanach says that Emperor romp attention. W ffcAbDALfc, "You know you didn't have any oats The following explains the difference The New Improved youthful color u, grey BuriiH. *irald. Ixni Kile* and most reliable blood-purifier known. K*B CLARKE General Agent, William, whose age is 86. is the oldest in reality. The $10 you sent us was HONABIB LIURIMNG |har. 50c and $1 sues at between "luck" and '/chance." You AMI AIL OT.iBK llotflll IAI\H AMI ACKE8. Pl.\suians know its composition, and prescribe Gen Traffic Manager t-ul Mum gguts. of the sovereigns, and Alfonso of Spain, Jlluy OruggiaManit Ilea r'L. rvwlirrt H'dy Ceaua botaU merely for margins. If oats had declined take a girl out to the theater and discover it It has been widely used for forty 'Istbe cheapest and best. Mir u* ID tl 1 anf ie who was 25 jears old on his last birthday, Iloreston Cologne, in price you would have lost jour vear and has won the unqualified confidence that you haven't a cent in your JA boy sixteen years ok THF tllMtl.KS A. \0,-H KIJ C. the youngest. Queen Victoria is can saw logs/ost and easy of millioi whom it has benefited. EIA.STIC TRUSS money." pocket You are, of course, compelled A new and excedmK 'n- Dmemora ic A ex.,.! Kit CO BallMi-r JH A Sent on text trial SenC rnint and lasting jwrfuu-e Hata Pad diSMogframallotlMau 78, the Empress Augusta 71, the Queen postal for lUusrraiea Catalogue containing testimon "See here, if I understand this matter, Prepared byDr. J. C. Ayer & Co., to invite her to an oyster saloon after eapihai*, with Sdf-AdiiatS Price ?5 and lie. ials and full particulars AGEXT8 WlNTEB of Denmark 65, the Empress of Brazil TAKE IT! READ ITI Bail ID caatcr, adaptsi tMlttoall you bought me a thousand bushels the performance. She refuses for some BonaxchI?fhtnnig8awCo 16 Randolph 8t.,0hicago PARKER'S pwttlou ot to* body, whO* tbt Piactical and Analytical Chemists', 60 and the ex-Empress Eugenie 56. of oats for $10, That's vi hat you said Bal Itnth*ranpnaaea baafe th* reason that's "luck," but the "chance" i Lowell, Mass. latMUMalutaaaaanMMoH The youngest Queens in Europe are the you would do, and they're woitb now tie fHftBnw Press KotFafc is a million to one that she will accept Ida tk Iaaar Hitb Ifeha GINGERTON BOLD BY AU. DULUUIST3 EVEBTWatSBt. wife of the King of Spain, who is 24, fJ fnanmtbctlarelaialiaUainnl* something like $3901,orf.$4|)0, to send for feyand a%bt. and a tadieal eon cartala. ltla an, duaala and by A Chatham street merchant is strict and the v\ ife of the King of Servia, who Mdcatap. SatbymaU. Orcnhua fraa. the great horned jumpih fepbon want our FALL in regard to the personal appearance of EGGLEST03 TRUSS 0M is one ear yonng r. CWcago, 'em, and I want 'em $ffi Price-List his clerks wearing a mustache and when KIDNEY-WORT This conversation^occurred early in FREE! forl882. one of them applied to him for permission A Pun family Medicine that Never Intoxicates. CTSfuTlilePiR]^Tu, the morning, and it XfoK nearlv all day to raise a mustache"Dat vas all Free to any address upon At the three vegetarian restauranto IS A SURE CURE If you area mechanic or farmer, \i orn ont A th to force the fifty dbjrars on Mr. Potts right," he replied "you shoot raise so application. Containsde- ove-work or a mother run down bv family o*house i-. MARIETSfortie MERCHANT! RELIABLESELF-CURE, in London, an average of 1,650 dinners and get him ont ofthjuPiSce.Cheek. hold duties try VKWHK'b GINGER TuKr""* vlST". much viskers as you bleasa, so long you for all diseases of the Kidneys and Bcriptions of everything' are served daily. It you area lawyer, minister or business man ex-T MISCELLANY ft tk MECffAIOa: LIVER required for Personal or Family use, hausted by mental strain or anxious cores do net A fltTorlto prescription of one of tb A Pittsburg^lBtfctive observes that take intoxicating stimulants, but use FAKKER S WISDO for ttarWlYB' with over 2,200 illustrations. We sell awataMtod and aoecessful specialists in tbe S. Gt GBR IONIC. /-I there are few fat men among the criminal (now ntlred) tor tbe cure otHfervoum IfebilUu. Among the professional reminisoeqees It haa specific acttcm oa taia aoa tefertaat all goods at wholesale prices, in* If you have DvspepMa Rheumatism, Kidpey ort CHITSfcrttsirCHiLDBEH! Basques are made with deeply-pointed LimM Mmm Wnwlmiiaudggcay. Sent classes. The lean and hungry Caseins orgaa, enabUa* it to throw STtotVasUty aa* of Daniel CConnell, when at the Irish Urinary Complaints, or if you-are troub'ed with am quantities to suit the purchaser. The tola1aiaaa1edsmTalopeA^ PtnggisucanflU waists, out up very closeiy -*?-a^*-the on laactton, ttmulattOg' tssaaaaltayaaoMttaaiatT is tbe bad man. Our most desperate aisorder of the lungs stomach bowels blood-echecve^X ki*tn OUr WARD 4 CO., LMUIM. Mfc bar, was the followingjupique instance *^1 only institution in America who makeSfthis tbe Bile, and by keepiac the bowaaiU toe you can be cured ry PAkKEK'b GINGER lotoS*^ hips."1 criminals," the detective remarks of a client's gratitude. He had obtain^ &n)y $1.15 Per Annum. &nc dtssin-ition or oondition, ttecttng ita ngtdaedlaakwc*. their special business. Address^' Blewafor Boys and Girts V, If\ouare wilting away from "i *J ?*f-**J-*4 ta* reporter, "are mostly small-sized thev ed an acquittal, and the fellow^in Iwl8l3ri0a m2u!V!*9ttn?JnmL ^andOUil A MIW I N any diseaseor wea' ncss an4 r&ni re a stimulant tal J0^.4wpmvttl MONTGOMERY WARD & G0.* mpn with light complexions." Nilsson"i.s Sg* :0V j^* patented for them, Gl\G lOMCatonce, it will invigorate ardbn d& ecstacy of his joy exclaimed, "Ocbr There is a rumor that to ^ortirtUauraljr MUaraaad qaiekly ,m}0 Home ase A on up from tie first dose but vi 1 never ntoxicile xa Van SprlotT tSfllaWHaflaatoMal end for Sample Oopj. Address counselor. Pve no way here to show marry again, a Senor Angel de Miranda* *t SUM! le Wnbaafc Cfcjamm* JB- I Fret and Scroll Sawing, Tummg. It has saved hunured of lives it uia save VOUK. U. "TlTI tlVl a Iniauwtal W T.Diaunt,Orindine,1 alishiM, your honor my gratitude, but I wish I'-*' whose mother was governess to Mercedes, KISCOX ft CO, 16? William St, NSW York. *0c 1 Cuttlttf. PricotStotSJ. a- SOLDBYIMIUOQIIT*. PIONBBB PEBSS OO.. $M dollar liitt, at all dealer* in medicine*. saw you knookcd~down in my own par. Faehionable intelligence-Long dresses Hjltenred in 10 to u0 days. Ten years and made amarchioness. He if -1oanta*orICpa^. KIDNEY-WORT GB84T SATING BUYING WUUAK SlZaV IMltablished? 4Q00 cartd. Writ* ate* kh,M4mjbt|w*ttJd!t l^^^'wttooljMwwwiiBgfc -at?- MUuraliced Frenchman. 8 Paal^lCnxu llmwc warn, Qet-f Mi* S **&t 4P 'i&AnJB$i. & %"~m 3tf 4aaafe.aB.t- t..i,w Tl immm