H"*' 5 "ffT it -'A' V,»® Y^ '-1 -f l'. *•', Vv-V' •V -I '.^^V'i," Vy, '^v INTERNATIONAL FALLS PRESS, JUNE 5, 1919 PAGE SEYEH A Wild TIME TO SEEK YOUR TRAIN Automobile Tourists THE STUBEE Preliminary Windup of Announcer Adventure Should Be Signal for Intending When In Minneapolis Stop at Traveler to Get Busy. Sash and Door Factory A train announcer is a much misunderstood By WALTER JOSEPH DELANEY Hotel Lincoln individual. His is indeed a much-abused calling—of stations. (Copyright, 1919. by Western Newspaper Union.) IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS But those uncouth, unintelligible, inarticulate About once a year Nancy, wife of mouthings which are his Aleck Forbes, had "a tantrum." wont when properly warmed up to his NICOLLET AVE. AT NINTH ST We Are Well Equipped to do All Kinds of Looking back over a full decade, work are, if you must know, merely an Aleck could recall many of these fitful evidence of your own abysmal ignorance, MILLWORK spells. For a day or two Nancy says Henry H. Craigie in Judge. OPENED SEPT. 1st. 1918 was unmanageable, complaining, nagging. What he is really reciting through and you will make no mistake by getting Suddenly the spell would disappear his megaphone, and which sounds to Especially convenient for auto parties as Nicollet Avenue and Nancy would be "good as their prices before ordering elsewhere your uneducated ear like a cross-section pie!" She never expressed penitence, of a buzzsaw and an asthmatic is the leading road from all point, and has no car tracks. and the renewed sun of her graciousnes«: phonograph, is probably a poem from Within two squares of 5 large garages. Adjoining the cities' made Aleck forget to allude to the Sanskrit, or some delicate strophe Building and Contracting Specialty largest stores. her Spasm of ill nature. from the Syro-Chaldaic poets. It goes All Work Guaranteed "I don't dare to face her!" he something like this: Rooms at $1.00 per day. With private toilet 25 cents groaned. "She's due for her regular "Bipxz-r-r-rzyz-nowreddyntrackfour," ou» break. If not, what I have done but it is not his fault if you need an interpreter extra with private bath 50 cents extra. In addition-there LARS STUBEE, Prop. will hasten it. Oh, dear! The loss to tell you what he is saying. are suities of rooms with separate toilet, each room having of the two hundred dollars worries Paraphrasing the immortal words of connecting bath—an ideal arrangement and only found here. me. but when I think of what Nancy a contemporary—I think we may call 2nd Ave. and 6th St. Phone'89 will say about it I'm scared!" it the RRE of NG—"Your program is Your Timetable," and about as useful This had happened: Aleck had collected Cafe in connectioi -Hotel Lincoln guarantees an atmosphere to you as a menu card a la Francaise two hundred dollars. Nancy of home refinement. is to a deaf mute with an intensive appetite knew all about the transaction and for ham and eggs. For your was to have half of the sum to buy a "Maybe nobody has told you timetable is really your key to the new set of furniture. About four WM. B. CAMFIEL1 -Proprietor*- -F. S. GREGORY cryptic utterances of the train announcer—and o'clock Aleck had come home, found says the Good Judge— her absent and had loitered about nobody is supposed to understand For past ten years with Minneapolis leading hotels. either. town. *$ Under the hypnotic spell of his Returning, he had made an appalling subtle eloquence you do not miss your discovery. He had lost the money! Why this good tobacco train—until it has pulled out, and Hastily he retraced his way but costs less to chew. sometimes not then. If you are slightly found no trace of the missing roll of deaf it adds to your enjoyment of baik notes. His heart sank to his You get real tobacco the occasion, or you can make a game She joined boots. He dared not face Nancy. A satisfaction with a of it, as some do, by utilizing an opera new suggestion came to him. He glass in an effort at lip reading. would take the first train for Adrian, small chew. It gives our But if you are wise, at the first where lived a brother who might loan you the good tobacco sound of his preliminary windup you him two hundred dollars, but the last will hunt up that train of yours by lochl for the day was gone when he taste. It lasts and lasts. main force—and the devil take the reached the railroad station. You don't need a hindmost. Delays are dangerous. As he passed the village garage he tonkin* recognized a farmer just ready to start fresh chew so often. TREE EXUDES MILKY FLUID out. The man could take him as far It saves you money. as the cross roads, four miles from KCUUB Adrian. The automobile was an open Said to Be Highly Desirable as Food roadster, the evening was chilly and —Also Converted Into Substance THE REAL TOBACCO CHEW Aleck had felt his chronic hoarseness Resembling Cheese. coming on by the time he reached the Put up in two styles cross roads". He was stiff and shivering Interesting mention has recently as he started on his long walk. been made of #the "cow tree," so This side of Adrian, about two miles, /Mext named from the milky fluid it produces. RIGHT CUT is a short-cut tobacco Aleck made out the lights of the little W-B CUT is along fine-cut tobacco town of Leesville. He started a short ^nnas "For many weeks we had .heard a cut in the dark, got mired In a great deal of a tree whose juice is she will swampy stretch, fell over a great log a nourishing milk. Incisions, made in and lay insensible for nearly half an the trunk of the tree are followed hour. by a profuse flow of gluey and thickish Have Patience. HAVE The Gray Squirrel. When Aleck regained consciousness milk, destitute of acridity and exhaling Patience is a virtue needed most by he could not find his hat, he limped The gray squirrel is found in thfe a very agreeable balsamic those who have least of it. It's a from a sprained ankle, he could feel a northern part of both continents. He odor. Though we drank large quantities mental quality that can't be purchased great abrasion on one side of his face is in shape like a common squirrel of it, both at night before goin^ and it's hard to take advice on. The and, a thoroughly wretched and nerveracked the outward difference consists in his to bed, and again early in the morning, trouble is that most folks see the need size he is larger than squirrels usually being, he reached the road to we experienced no uncomfortable of'patience in the other fellow. Everybody of red he is light, or deep be nearly run down by, an automobile are instead effects. The negroes and free people is so slow and awkward. It just containing some wild spirits bound in gray and his ears are not so hairy who work in the plantations use seems as though they deliberately try the opposite direction. He had not toward the extremity as are those of it by soaking in it bread made frttn If you haven't joined our Christmas banking club, come your patience. We want things done prtceeded half a mile when he came maize. When exposed to the air, this other squirrels. Many authors consider our way and they do them their way. in and do so today. across a hat, evidently blown off the the European species different fluid displays on its surface, probably We demand personal attention and head of one of the hilarious crowd. than those found in America that the by the absorption of the atmospheric folks give it to us when they get ready. Men, Women, Boys and Girls all should join and we ur-*e It was a soldier's hat, with the regulation gray squirrels of Europe are of the oxygen, membranes of a highly animal We want things when we want them you to join for you own good. band about it. Aleck was glad nature, yellowish and thready, lika common kind, and that they change and can't see why they are not forthcoming to put it on. Then he made for the those of cheese. The people give the their color according to the season, in instanter. The result is trouble. There are clubs to ft every purse—I cent, 2 cents, 5 cents, gleaming village lights. With chattering name of cheese to the curd which thus the northern climate. Without denying We tell folks what we think of teeth and shaking limbs he separates when brought into contact absolutely this assertion, which 10 cents, where you increase your deposits each week with them in tones and diction that isn't made for a brightly lighted room at with the air. The milk itself, kept does not seem sufficiently proved, we complimentary to their dignity, and the amount you started with. in a small corked bottle, had deposited look upon the gray squirrel of Europe thr rear of what seemed to be the that tells all too plainly our estimate town billiard parlor. Half a dozen a small portion of coagulum, and and America as the same animal, and of their ability. Then we have occasion We also have 50 cent, $1.00 and $500 clubs where you pay young fellows stared at him as he far from being fetid, continued to exhale as a distinct species, separated from to be sorry. It was all a mistake. bolted in upon them, craving warmth balsamic scent." that of common squirrels, which are in the same amount each week. We lacked patience. Even if the other •T ai-d well nigh exhausted. found in the northern part of both fellow was at fault we lost caste whe» continents, being of the same size'and we lost patience.—Grit. But join—join today. Aleck must have fainted away, for of the same color. when he again opened his eyes some FIRST NATIONAL BANK one was pouring a powerful stimulant down his throat. A sense of rare relief and comfort came over his befogged 10. consciousness. International Falls, Minnesota "He's a soldier," spoke an unsteady voice, "you can see that by his hat. Say, fellows, our expected chum from :V-. the front hasn't shown up. We'll W show the honors of war to this hero, •HH Subscribe forlThe Press eh? Here, old fellow7, we're going to •as* banquet you. See? Up to the groaning table with the victim," and Aleck was carried to a chair before a bewildering 1! OAKLAND supper layout. He tried to 947 Mile speak. He could not. Only a hoarse in 23 hours—45 minutes monotone responded to the effort. His old ailment was upon him, he had temporarily Average 24.28 milc-s lost his voice. per gallon of gasoline, fi "Hey! give me a text for a speech," only 3 quarts of oil nudged the lively young fellow beside iJhSl him, amid the jangling of glasses. "Voice gone, my friends, evidently from exposure in the trenches. Here, write something," and given pencil and paper, Aleck wrote: LOS ANGELES "Treated rough." "Ah! my friends," cried the orator grandiloquently, "they treated him THE UNIVERSAL CAfi rough over there!" "Lost in a swamp, crippled!" •ill "Think of his sufferings in behalf 1 If you want a car for use this summer, you of his beloved country! He's getting must get your order in now. another chill. Prime him up with another ®i it dose!" The factory is behind on production and Now Aleck could never remember how he got back home, but, carrying orders are filled in rotation. fit the banquet bouquet, he entered the Come in and talk it over. house the next morning. Nancy stared 1 irisa An Owner Test at him, astonished. i'&^s "Flowers for you," croaked Aleck. The Kind That Counts "'You've been drinking!" said Nancy P¥* i-is seriously. A. A recent demonstration of Model 90 power, enduriance "They poured it down me. I wasn't and dependability was an impromptu round trip responsible. I lost that $200 between i.iii Oakland and Los Angeles—a most severe test, over "Well, I found it in the kitchen. mountian Fi I've taken my share, yours is in the roads, through a blinding storm, with mud hub deep in clock. Now give an account of yourself." places. The Model 90 never faltered, never failed! Let us show you a duplicate of the car that this made It sobered Aleck. It delighted him record.\ to hear the merry laughter of Nancy as he detailed his adventures. "So you were afraid of me!" she said. "Well, after this, when I feel a spell C. W\JEWETT CO., Inc. iM coming on, I'll go and stay with my sister till it's over. You poor man! CENTRAL AUTO CO. 301—Second Street To fall in with that bibulous crowd of reckless roisterers. You must sign Phone 15. International Falls, Min 1. a pledge as an evidence of good faith, Overland Model 90 Five Passenger Touring Car {985 f. a. b. Toledo and next time you feel afraid of me come, and tell me your ridiculous story over again, and its very funniness Mil make me good natured!"