PAGE THREE long enough to order his paper PROFESSIONAL CARDS SOME TROUBLES stopped and declare that the editor Chuckles is a narrow minded Puritan OF AN EDITOR In politics nobody can be JOHN BROWN pleased. If you sing a little song Attorney at Law If He*. Good He'* Sioy if He'. |for protective tariff other parti- a Office in the litis Block A Competent Fellow Bad He's a Devil if He's For|sans wlU want to know why an International Falls, Teddy He wants War if Not, Al"frican cannot stand by our Did you not call for help when He's a inoble president. If the paper does he kissed you, dear?" questioned happen to chip in a good word the prim aunt. DR. IHRIG ANGEL OR TOAD, ACCORD- Praise s°me official act of our or "No. He didn't need any." Dentist ING TO STATE OF LIVER no"le president the Old Guard ______ throws out open hints of treach- Office oyer Holler's Confectionery Necessary Things ery. International Falls, Minn. One day the editor is an am- One of our admirals is quoted angel and the next a clammy Presently a sharp featured per a as saying: "The battleship can go toad to be spurned with loathing, son with an impatient step and a to any part of the world if coal is GEO. S. LANGLAND It all depends "whether he is palpable grouch comes in. He is provided." viewed with the rosy spectacles Hannibal J. De Soto. "How LAWYER "This does away with the old of smuflf complacency or the about this?" he exclaims. Here In litis Block on supposition that water was also balefuX vision of one who rises we had the greatest meeting ev- 4th Ave. necessary, interposed a by- from his couch suffering from e]* held in the Ninety-ninth pre- hfttraartimnf Faflsj stander. liver trouble and with a bad taste cinct. Alka hall was full. That in his mouth. The fate of the g"reat statesman O. B. Gosh was No Longer a Child newspaper man is that of the. the principal orator and his F. J. MePARTLIN neutral nation or the private speech was a masterly one, and Is mama's sweet little boy Lawyer peacemaker. In the one case he ye* y°u §five lls only twenty lines, ready to have his bath now?" is buffeted on all his border, and,1 was chairman of the meeting, Office orer International "Oh, maw, put the soft pedal in the other he is kicked in the,and you don't even mention my State Bank on that stuff, will you? When a slats by both husband and wife, name But when Haw Lewis or International Falls, Minn. fellow's six years old its time to SI 7 says Eugene Brown in the Los Beveridge is here you give him take him out of the kindergarten Angeles Times. ja column. That's a of away class. I'll take my splash when The frailties or excesses of the(to treat home industries You can & F. SWINNERTON M. D,GM. I've had my smoke." editor are given to the whole .stop my paper, and Gosh wants Physician and Sorgeon to stop his." lyet examined and glasses fitted. world in black ink on white pa- Wanted the Right Dope The ladies—God bless 'em—al- Office orer Empress The office boy watched with1Per- short-comings and His long-goings are public property.' so have their peevish moments. Theatre keen interest the proprietor, who Moreofter he is abused for what There are a lot of 'em who don't International Falls, Mfnn. was hastily buttoning up his coat he does not do rather than for want to vote, and they register one afternoon a while ago. what he does. anger when the suffragettes get "If anyone asks for me I shall The favorite passion of the all the publicity. If the editor ML JENNER PERRY CHANCE be back in one hour," the great irresponsible layman is to own has something about state taxaa Physician and Snrgnon man said as he was leaving the newspaper long enough to rip tion or suggests an excess of office. Office over litis Drug Store somebody up the back. Yet, if commissionerships he is declared Yes, sir and how soon will Phone 11 iw,, ""*1^ editor does happen to tread to be attacking our fat and sassy Mgkt Calls at Hotel Koochiching you Dc o^oic it 110 one BSKS xor .« t/ vou?" rejoined the bov quickly. on the tal1 of a coat' the result governor. If the angels are giv- is either a libel suit, a fight or a en glory in the pink sheet the lost subscriber. Editorial praise Tiger fans all sob out that they What to Do With It. PH1NNEY A CAMPBELL is seldom fully appreciated, but are not having a square deal. If "Waiter!" called out fat man a LAWYERS editorial criticism is always the paper declines to give a hunstrongly in a voice of unmistakable wrath. and hotly resented, dred dollars' worth of advertisSpeak Orer International State "Yes, sir," answered the waiter kind words about Smjth ing to the conundrum contest for Bank as he bustled forward, expectant!y- for a whole lifetime and he will the benefit of the home for indicontentedly International Falls, accept them as his gent rabbits a disgruntled comjust "Here—here, take this egg due, but let a dinky little mittee will serve a notice that away!" thundered the guest. item creej^ in that places him in sundry subscriptions will be W. E. LAWRENCE "Take it away!" an unpleasant light and all the missing next month. "Yes, sir," said the waiter good things that have gone be-1 In the olden days when a man THE REXALL STORE "Wht do you want me to do fore are forgotten. He never acquired a full sized grudge International Falls, Minn. with it, sir?" tried to do the paper any good against a newspaper he Was apt "Do with itj" roared the other. before, but now he takes up the to go hunting for the editor "Do with it? Wring its neck!" club and ax and does all the dam- armed with horse pistols and DR. E. A. THOMPSON age possible. He raves and rag- other venomous cutlery. Nowes Anticipation like a wildcat. adays he merely rings him up on DENTIST You Can't See the Person This Public Roars, Too. the 'phone, calls him a dodoIf A little girl of six sat looking Phone 245 thoughtfully Tof window through friendship or sym- domed derelict and asks that the Out the Orer litis' Drug Store Fellow is Talking To of her honie the other day. Her pathy th editor withholds the paper be stopped. International Falls, Minnesota mother questioned her as to the publication of some unhappy bit It can's be doen. That particuof cause of her seriousness. news concerning the hitherto lar subscription may be canceled, You have the same chance of "Oh," she replied, "I was just respected citizen, that person but the paper never stops. NORTHERN MINNESOTA thinking that when I grow up to will carelessly express a grati- if the editor is good he is a guessing the out of sight quality HOSPITAL ASSOCIATION be a big lady I'm goin' to get tude he hardly feels. But if the if he is bad he is a devil. If sissy married and have three children." in a suit of clothes—unless you public learns of the suppression, he recognizes the licensed sathe Her mother, although very foar may be heard for miles. ioon he is a soak if he votes for know the make. Dr. R. H. Monahan ... Phone 223 much surprised, was also much To the ordinary reader of tli£ prohibition he's a bigot. If he Dr. Elizabeth Monahan Phone astg amused. newspaper crime in the world is shouts for Teddy he wants war Dr. Mary Ghostly .... Phone 301 "You will be very fortunate, the suppression of news. And yet jf he doesn't he's a mollycoddle, Styleplus #17 indeed," replied the fond parent. Ettdestine Hospital .... Phone 79 the paper is merely the editor's if he prints all the news he's a The little miss, grew silent and show window in which he may ghoul if he doesn't he's a cowrirhtfully thoughtful again. Finally she Clothes place such of his wares ard. If he tells the truth he's a Office over International State said: TRADE MARK RE«ISTC»tO ar, he elects. menace if he doesn't he's a Bank—Phone 15$. "But of course, you can never In a time when there is a great skunk. If he goes to church he's "The same price the nation over.** International Falls, tell, mother. I might marry a war, a political campaign, pro- hypocrite if he doesn't he's an a bachelor." are one of the best known makes in hibition, suffrage, baseball, taxa- atheist. If he's liberal he's a the country. rki/roi ruwETh 1"'ori' dancing, Mexico, Japan, spendthrift if he's conservative A THING HE OVERLOOKED tunnel boring and a few other he's a tightwad. If he's affable They have made their reputation on style We Pay He was a perfect wonder, was disturbing factors in the public he's a time server 'if he's serious the parliamentary candidate for the editor who can keep he is a grouch. and quality, both at a medium price. his bark from the shoals is some HIGHEST PRICES a certain agricultural district Their fabrics are all wool. Water shrunk And he was never shy of telling P^ot- In mental makeup he must WARNED OF DANGER the voters why they should re- he a mixture of Machiavelli and haircloth and canvas for the understructure. for OF KITCHEN FIRES turn him on their M. P. Sir Galahad. Hand tailoring to give finish Hides, Pelts "I am a practical farmer," said the newspaper contains un- If This is the .season of the year and strength. he boastfully at one meeting. "I reports of German victor- usual most fatal to children. Not from can plow, reap, milk cows, work there is criticism of Brit- ies if Any kind of a model you say. a sanitary point of view, as the a chaff cutter, shoe a horse—in methods or if the editor sur- ish and Wool doctors would say, but from fact," he went on "I reptitiously nibbles a pretzel he $17 this season the same as ever. Better proudly, carelessness in managing the should like you to tell me one promptly accused of being a is wear the clothes that are "true to their thing about a farm which I can- sPy the kaiser and one of the household heaters and the kitch- of trust." Satisfaction guaranteed. not do." right bowers of the German ranSe says Robert W. Harga- en Then in the impressive silence chancellor. If the paper puts marshal. dine state fire Markotfitz a small voice asked from the glaring headlines over a dispatch Recent reports received by the back of the crowd: |about the German lines being fire marshal's department from Summer field "Can you lay an egg?"—Lon- hack at Verdun or the ed- investigation of fires show that Pt swe don Answers. j'tor takes to playing cricket in- several children have lost their stead" of pinuchle Karl Hofmeis- lives or have been disfigured for Be sure and see us before International Falls, Minnesota MINNESOTA AWARDED iter him up on the 'phone life by being left alone in the cal1 BUTTER CHAMPIONSHIP and accuse him of making shells house by parents. you sell. We will do as well for the allies. I Ip many agricultural communWoes as anyone else by you. Dry Wet and ities, where both parents and all Minneapolis, Nov. 18.—Minnesota If the newspaper prints the other adult members of the fam- was awarded the champion- ship banner for the state ehibit-, statement of a grape grower that absent, the small children are S. E. Thompson & Son ing the best butter at the annual the prohibition amendment al°n5 *n the house have SHIP YOUR session of the National Creamery would destroy his vineyard, Rev. I playei with the fire with the reButtermakers' J50 HIDES International Falls, Minn. association. The Dr. Lastly will write the editor a su^ that both were burned to state's score was per cent, -letter telling how it grieves him death and the entire dwelling de- 'Phone 128. The Minneapolis Dollar-Hotel 96.38 J. W. Engle of- Pratt, Minn., sorely to have to denounce him stroyed. FURS 250 MODERN ROOMS was awarded first place in the, from the'pulpit as a hireling of) Do not take chances. Arrange etc. Located in Heart of Bonnes* District whole milk class of butter with the saloon. If the paper gives'an matters so that small children ONE PRICE--ON E DOLLAR europlan rate for two iirson8$i.60 a score of P. K. Kolbert interview with a celebrated sci-'are not left alone in the house Established 1867 .. .. TO .. .. D.BER6MAN&C0. 97.50. Twin City Stamp A of Renville, Minn., whose butter entist showing that if three fing- or in a room where they can play COMPLETE SAFETY AUTOMATIC SPRINKLERS ranked next to Engle's, was ers of alcohol are shot into the with fire. By observing a little Stencil Co. AND FIREPROOF CONSTRUCTION caution many families will be awarded first prize in the allcream hind leg of a grown man his step- Stamps ST. PAUL. MININ. INSURANCE RECORD* SHOW THAT NEVER HAS A LIFE BEEN LOST IN ANT BUILDINS (children will go mad, the bar- spared the heart-rending exper- class. The Wisconsin Deal direct with the largest and oldest house In the West. Highest prices and immediate EVERT ROOM HAS HOT AND COLD RUNNING state cup was awarded to Peder! tender at the Blue Moon will ience of having their little ones cash returns. Write for price list, tags and WATER, STEAM HEAT, BLECTRlC LIGHT AND full information. TELEPHONE SERVICE. Kristensen of Cushing, Wis. pause in his death dealing work burned to death.