.• 1 I I I I. I I man) 11 1 "Germa ME. BOWSER HASASTBEAK first time you have called my atten a mere look was enough to make him Familiar tto Mothers.. «.,-v»,^,*.~ .. „, Familiar I .^M ML tion to it." howl most horribly. ', "That's only blood offn my second "Exactly. What was the use? So gradually the spaniel of Darmstadt—for littlest toe." That buckle busted off three years ago it was a spaniel, although Entertaining: Facts and -Theories All husbands are "streaky." They last Thanksgiving day, and yet you "And that?" its name was Poodle—became a real About Their Singular Perceptive 4vill run along all right for a week or haven't noticed it! Is there a spare musical critic. It went with its master Powers. "Jus' where I siud off'n the barn." two as good as pie, and then all of a buckle kicking around the cellar or to all concerts, and woe betide the The way in which blind horses go "And this?" sudden and with no valid excuse they hanging up in the garret? If not I performer who made a mistake! Up about without getting into more difficulties "Diit." suppose I can heat the stove poker went the dogs ears, his teeth were will break out in the most surprising than they ordinarily do is very shown as if he weregoing to bite everyone, and bend it up to answer." He is 4 years old. His mother was manner. When Mr. Bowser left the "You only got that vest three and he howled until his master remarkable They rarely if ever hit Martinsville N.J., Methodist Parsonage. getting him ready for bed. He had house after lunch the other day he months ago, Mr. Bowser, and the signalled to him to leave off. their heads against a fence or stone blue and black and brown bruises all My acquaintance with was in great good humor and stopped tailor never put a buckle on!" she exclaimed wall. They will sidle off when they your remedy, Boschee's German over him. She bathed him and put on as she pulled at the strap. to say: Syrup, was made about fourteen come near one. A writer in a London his nightgown. He said his prayers. The Judge Could Hear. "And this coat, Mrs. Bowser," he "I think I'll stop and get tickets for When persons reach threescore years years ago, when I contracted a Cold A Then climbed into the chair opposite journal says: went on, regardless of her protests and five, they may feel and admit which resulted in a Hoarseness and the theater to-night and we'll put in her. His expression was one of angelic feel in this pocket! There's a hole "It appears from careful observation that their moral powers, physical and a Cough which disabled me from -an enjoyable evening." there large enough to let a cocoanut pensiveness. I have made that it is neither intellectual, are beginning to decay filling my pulpit for a number of through! I've known it for years and When he returned at 6 he ascended shade nor shelter that warns them of "Mamma." but when their age extends considerably I years, and I've been waiting to see if Sabbaths. After trying a Physician, the danger. On an absolutely sunless the steps with a scuff! scuff! scuff' unlocked "Yes." beyond this figure, they are often you would fix it. Have we got a piece without obtaining relief—I cannot, and windless day their behavior is the "Will you give me a pencil and paper?" slow to allow that their bodily and the front door, gave it a kick, of bed-cord and a half a yard of old say now what remedy he prescribed' same. Their olfactory nerves doubtless mental strength is in the least abated. and made his way into the back parlor Brussels carpet lying around?'" become very sensitive, for when "What do you want them for?" —I saw the advertisement of your What is apparent to all others ia "Why didn't you tell me about it?" to growl This was the leading question. He driving them they will poke their remedy and obtained a bottle. I denied by themselves. When the Rev. "Tell you! Must a husband be evaded it heads downward in search of water "Mrs. Bowser, do you pretend to Dr. Perkins, of West Hartford, was in received such quick and permanent eternally telling his wife about these "How," he asked do you spell Oma* fifty yards before they come to a the neighborhood of 60, he wanted a run this house on a system?" help from it that whenever we have things? What's a wife for? What are ha?" stream crossing the roadway. It cannot colleague, but when he was 70, he had Throat or Bronchial troubles "Why, what is wrong, dear?" she her duties? WThat,should a fond, true She told him. be an abnormally developed sense could dispense with one, being, in his since in our family, Boschee's German wife delight in? Button off—hole in queried in reply. "Haw do you spell policeman?" of hearing which leads them to do this, own judgment, fully competent to do my sock—no buckle on my vest—hole Syrup has been our favorite "There's lots of things wrong! I had for they will act alike though the water She told him that too. the pastoral work himself. And it is in my pocket—two buttons loose on remedy and always with favorable scarcely left the office when this overcoat be a stagnant pool. "How do you spell Gra Green and said of Robert Treat Paine, who was my vest—button-holes all torn out in results. I have never hesitated to Elihu Green?" on the bench of the Supreme Court of button came off. I laid this my shirt! Theater! Not this evening, "Men who have been blind for any report my experience of its use to He was answered. Massachusetts, that when he got to be coat off the 5th of last May, and Mrs. Bowser! You can go, but I length of time develop somewhat similar others when I have found them "Can you spell Tommy Benjamin?" aged, and the bar desired to have him haven't time. After dinner I've got you've had five months to secure that instincts to blind horses. Some She could, and did. troubled in like manner." REV. withdraw from the bench, they appointed to get the hammer, gas-pinchers, saw, one says that none of the five senses button. He was silent. He propped his pink Mr. Hanison Gray Otis to go W. H. HAGGARTY, file, brace, and drill, a package of has anything to do with this singular chin in hi3 pink palm and thought the and see him. Mr. Otis suggested to "But I didn't know it was loose. of the Newark, New p^ a rivets, screwdriver, gimlet, and a lot perceptive power, but that the impressions matter over. Finally he drew a long the Judge that it must be a very great Why didn't you tell me?" Jersey, M.E. Conference, of glue, and see if I can't repair some breath and straightened up. are made on the skin of the face inconvenience for him to leave his "Why haven't I told you ten thoussand April 25,'90. Remedy of the damages and get myself in shape and by it transmitted to the brain, "I fought if I had a piece of paper home so often and for so long. other things that onght to be to go to the office tomorrow. You an' a pencil and I knowed how to spell and this 'unrecognized sense' he calls done! There are wives who glance at can go, and you'll probably enjoy the "Yes," said he, "it is always right to every word I would write to Omaha 'facial perception.' But possibly this their husband's clothing once or twice G.G. GREEN, Sole Man'fr,Woodbury,N.J. play and have a good time,but,I shall sacrifice peisonal preference for the for a policeman to come and 'rest Ora perceptive power may have its origin a year and discover what repairs are be unavoidably detained at home— good of the the country."' SICKHEADACHE Green an' Elihu Green an' Tommy such conditions as prevail in somnambulism needed. I want a darning needle and unavoidably detained, Mrs. Bowser!" "But," said Mr. Otis, "Judge, you Benjamin for frowin' stones at me an' or in the hypnotic state. Are a piece of string." —N. World. are not in good health you are infirm. saym' all such phenomena in man and horse "But I'll sew the button on." Positively cured by Are you not afraid this excessive 'Gee whizz! Stiggery bat, as I have mentioned to be accounted "No I'll do it myself. I don't want these Little Pills. HER TONGUE WOULD WAG. work will kill you9" Criss-cross, caraway rat!'" for by words 'facial perception,' if They also reliev* Distress to take up your valuable time." "Yes,'- said the Judge, "but a man The patient mother insisted on an from Dyspepsia.In they mean anything? However, speaking And despite Mrs. Bowser's entreaties digestion and TooHeirty can not die in a better cause than administering adjournment, When he was in bed, Not Even Ducking in the Horse of blind horses, why should they and protestations he threaded the Eating. A perfect remedy justice." and his small sister in her cot on the for DizziDess.Naueea Pond Cured Molly of Scolding. cast their coats as winter comes on needle with a piece of string and sat "But, Judge Paine, do you see as other side of the room he said"Mamma, Drowsiness, Bad Taste down and sewed on the button. He and grow long coats at the advent in the Month, Coated There is a tradition of a Gloucestershire well as you used to 9 are we all made out of got it an inch out of line with the button of summer and so reverse the Tongue.Pain in the Side scold whose obstinate disposition "0, ves I can see in my glasses perfectly." dirt?" T0KPID LIVER. Thej hole, of course, and of course it order which is the invariable rule in regulate the "Adam was," she hedged. defied the ducking stool. After the wouldn't have staid five minutes in the case of horses possessed of perfect Purely Vegetable. "Do you'hear as well as you used "0," cried the wep girl, excitedly, first "sousing" in the village horsepond 2 5 to -any event, but he had carried his to?" For it was notorious that he "Jay says God made 'ittle dirls out point. When he had laid the coat her husband exclaimed: "Molly! CASTER MEDICINE CO., NEW YORK. could not hear anything, unless it was of dirt, an' den He 'pit on dem' Did aside he asked: Molly! Wool thee promise I n^ver to ECONOMY IN CIGARS. Small Pill. Small Dose. Small Price. bawled in his ear. He, in righteous wrath, "'pit on dem, "Have we got a bradawl and a scold at I again?" "0, yes I hear perfectly, but they mamma 9 piece of wax-end in the house?" As soon as Molly recovered her don't speak as loud as they did before Evidently the latter possible fact This Man Smokes Good Ones and "I don't think so. What do you breath she replied in a thundering the Revolution."—New York Ledger. w7as more galling than that of construction Gives Away Poor Ones. Want of them?" voice of moroseness. "No, I won't from clay. A well-known business man walked "To mend my suspender of course. do nothing 'o the sort'" "No one knows exactly how God The Naval Officer's Title. I hadn't got a hundred feet from the into a cigar store the other morning Molly had another souse, and the makes anything." The title of naval officer as applied house this noon when it busted on me and took out two coins, says the husband met with the bame acrimonious "Can God see in here9" queried Jim. as usual. If there's another house to one of the officials of the custom response to his anxious interrogation. Rochester Demociat and Chronicle. "Yes." the United States run like this one I'd house has always been an enigma to The sousing was repeated, One was a dollar and the other a "If 'twus an iron house, could He?" like to hear of it and go and sit down most people, and very few have any but Molly continued obdurate and half-dollar. He laid them both down "Yes." on the doorstep for halt an hour. Perhaps idea of how it was created. Tne office contumacious. "If 'twus an iron house, wifout any on the case and pointed to a box of I can repair it with a piece of dates back to the colonial days, when "You may drown I," shouted Molly, windows, could He?" imported cigars, saying. "Give me a dollars clothesline until I get down town Charles II. was king of England and "but I wool never give in "Yes. Now go to sleep worth of those." The clerk handed again." his brother, afterward James II., was They did not run the risk of drowning Piped thf little maid "Does God them out and the buyer laid tne six duke of York. James received a percentage "But you can't blame me, Mr. Bowser," Molly, but released her, for the make cows9" on all customs receipts in rowr she said. that he wanted in a along the husband was convinced that she "Yes. Nowr hush'" America, and was also lord high admiral "0, of course not you are not to would "rather drown than refuse to case. Then he said to the clerk: "How does he make cows, mamma?" of the English navy. He had blame for anything''" wag her tongue at un," whenever she give me half a dollar's worth of any This the mother was deliberating very little confidence in the men whom "But how did I know your suspender felt inclined to do so. good 5-cent cigar." The clerk did as when Jim spoke. his brothers selected as collectors of was ready to break?" It did not cure Molly. She became he was bid and the 5-centers were "Cows'" scornfully. "Cows! God customs in this country, and order "That's all right. Mrs. Bowser' I'll as great a scold as she had been before laid along in a row also. The gentlemen don't make cows. God makes calves, to protect his own interests he insisted get a piece of clothes-line or barbed her public "sousing." Some years and they grow into cows' Don't they, then took the row of imported wive and make repairs and you on appointing a man whose duty it after that critical punishment the mamma?" cigars and cut the ends off them all. needn't worry at all! There are would be to approve every permit issued Lord of Manor met John at a Court "Yes. Do shut your eyes, both of by the collector before it would Then he mixed the 5- centers and the wives and wives." Leet and inquired: "Well, John, how you. and go to sleep." THE BEST FOR EVERY PURPM£ be valid. As lord high admiral he 25-centers up together and put them "Are we going to the theater?" she does Molly get on now with her scolding?" Fifteen minutes passed. Surely she naturally selected these men from his asked as he began pacing up and down all into his capacious vest pockets. was safe. Surely she might steal own officers and placed a naval officer the room with his hands under his A friend who was standing near and "Oh, 'Squire, her be pretty nearly down-stairs. She rose noiselessly and in every custom house in the British coat tails. who had wratched the operation with cured on't." sneaked to the door provinces in America. Both the office "What!" he shouted in a voice a good deal of curiosity said "Whereiore?" "Did the ducking stool do that business?" "Mamma," murmured a drowsy and the duties remain practically unchanged which jumped the cat out of the "Simply this, my boy," replied GO OB NEWS voice. to this day, and the "naval room. the man addressed, "I am in business "Oh, no I let her jaw on as long as "Well9" "Are we going to the theater?" officer," who is merely an auditor, where I have to give away a good her liked. I ged her no back answei's. FORTHEIHILLIONSOFCONSUMERSOFA "How—does—He make-the calves9" must still countersign all permits.— many cigars. I am a man who likes "Theater! Theater! Have you gone I zot quiet and blowed me bacca, and Philadelphia Record. a good cigar. I cannot afford to give cia/y? Mrs. Bowser, look here, and her soon dropt her scolding and be HERE'S A MEAN MAN. then talk theater to me'" away the kind of cigars that I smoke now as good a woman as they be jffiK It gives Dr. Tutt pleasure to a A He unlaced one of his shoes and The Painstaking French Soldier. myself, so I buy a day's supply and made."—Journal. \& nounce that lie is now putting up a cut the ends off. Then I buy some kicked it off, and there, at the end of It is said that a French soldier, stationed ©TINY IIVER PILL© He Won't Let a Woman Set Foot In cheap ones. When it is necessary foi bi-^ big toe, was a hole about as big as at a picture gallery, had strict HOW POODLE WAS TAUGHT. His Hateful Old Home. me to give away a cigar I pull out a a nickle. orders to allow no one to pass without ^vliich is ofexceedingly small ire, jet ^». On a cross street running south handful and offer one to the person, "I was intending to go to the QgP 1 otaining all the vn tues of the larger BH first depositing his walking sti^k. from the Base Line road, a short whoever he may be. He thinks that the ones. They are guaranteed purely theater," he said as he stood and How a German Professor Gave A gentleman came with his hands in egetable. Both sizes of these pills A ones with the ends cut off I have had distance beyond W. S. Ladd's farm, is pointed to the hole, "but I can't get His Dog a Musical Education. his pocket. The soldier, taking him ai still issued. The exact size of W in my mouth, and takes one of the a house which is not a Trappist away this evening. I have got to stay Everyone knows that Germans are by the arm said. Citizen where is TWTT'S I N LIVER PILL S A cheap ones, wnereby I save a good monastery, but inside of which, nevertheless, home and darn my socks. That hole is shown in the border of this "ad." your stick9" "I have no stick!" fond of music. A certain gentleman many dollars in the course of a year -there has started a corn on my toe it is said no woman has "Then you will have to go back and who lived in Darmstadt some time and also keep myself on good terms this very day." been allowed to set foot, says the get one before I can allow you to ago was so fond of it that he was not with the people to whom it is necessary "Mr. Bowser, those socks were pass." As this man read his orders, Portland Oregoman. The proprietor It is an old-fashion notion to give cigars." happy until every member of his household brand-new yesterday morning when the intention was that, as a prehminory is a stout solid-looking man, probably you put them on!" exclaimed Mrs. could play something, to inspecting the gallery, everybody about fo1 ty years of age, who that medicine has to taste Bowser with a good deal of energy. was to deposit a stick—not that New York's Boy Choir. lives alone. The house is a neat Each one learnt to take part in his bad to do any good. "0, of course! I probably cut "that those who had a stick should not be structure, quite fancifully painted, In 1869 there were but three boy concerts in time—each at least, but hole with the shears! I want a darnins-needle allowed to carry it with them into the choirs in New York—in Trinity Church, and everything around it is in good Scott's Emulsion is codliver the dog and what could he do poor and some string or something. gallery. Trinity Chapel and St John s. After order, but it has a lonely, deserted As long as I've got to take fellow? He might, indeed wag his tail oil with its fish-fat taste A German lady, in writing to borrow four or five j'ears the next boy choir look withal. It is not known what care of my clothes through the rest of and bark, but it was generally at the money of her sweetheart, is said was organized through the exertions this occupant's grudge against womankind lost—nothing is lost but the •my life I might as well begin tonight." to have made the following ingenious wrong place, until his master made of Mr. Hatch, the banker, for is, but it is evidently a deepseated Mrs. Bowser protested, but he taste. allusion in her postscript: I am so Christ Church on Fifth avenue, which up his mind that Poodle must learn one, and it is reported that threaded a darning-needle with a thoroughly ashamed of my request, is now demolished. After an interval somehow to be musical. the property has been willed to a man piece of red string and used up about This is more than a matter that I sent after the bearer of this of seven or eight years, boy choirs Accordingly, Mr. S took care eight leet of it in darning the hole. on condition that he never allows a note to call him back, but he had seemed to spring up in all directions. of comfort Agreeable that the dog' should be in the room "Tt we get through in time we may." woman to come on the place, and in already got to far on the way."—Temple The ritualistic movement in the Episcopal when the practices or concerts were "Get through with what?" case he doas it is to escheat to the taste is always a help to digestion. Bar. Church no doubt had much to going on and should stand quite close "Mrs. Bowser," he said as he removed state The neighbors look askance do with the introduction of this kind to him. As he himself conducted, or Confiding. his coat and turned his back, A sickening taste at the place when they go by, and Brown. "I always make it a rule to of music, though boy choirs are now beat time, he had a little cane in his •"look at the back of my vest!" whisper with bated breath: "That found in what are called the "low" is always a hindrance. hand, and whenever someone played conceal nothing from my wife I tell "I see it but what's wrong?" is tJie house in which a woman never and "evangelical" branches of the or sang a wrong note down came his He appeared to be growing good-natured, her everything." There is only harm in taking set toot." It is safe to bet that, notwithstanding Church, and in some of the sectarian master's cane on the dog's back. and she ventured to ask: Jones: "Yes, and I can't say that I churches. There are now in Brooklyn the will, it will not be Although he was not hurt much, cod-liver oil unless you digest "Aren't we going to go to the theater like you for it." and New York between sixty and long after the present owner has vacated of course Poodle objected to this tonight?" Brown: "How so? Why not?" seventy boy choirs, and counting New it. Avoid the taste. thepremises till women folks ar«. treatment, and used to bowl and "Wrong' wrrong! Is there a buckle Jones- "Why, your wife tells everything Jersey and the suburbs there must be growl. By-and-by the dog was clever ruling the roost there there9 Put on your glasses and tell yon tell her to my wife, and my one hundred of them. The- boy choir enough to understand that there had me if you can find a buckle anywhere SCOTT & BOWNB, Chemists, 13a South 5th Avenue, of Trinity Chapel is the best known in wite just hauls me over the coals for Mew York. been a mistake, by seeing his master on the back of my vest." Your druggist keeps Scott's Emulsion of cod-I.ver the city, and this is the only church CHASED THE CASH BALL. just shake a stick at him. and at last it." "No, I don't see one, but this is the ail—ail druggists everywhere do. $i. •in the United States which has a daily choral service. The choir consists ol The Old Farmer Had an Idea That thirty members—twelve men and He Was Being Bunkoed by It. eighteen boys. Boy singers are usually Some amusement was created' in, a obtained from the public schools, but The Official Report of Gen. Hurst, dry-goods store in this city the other a church of reputation never has any LITTLE day when a farmer came to make a difficulty in securing all the talent it purchase. He bought some calico, and needs.—Epoch. LIVER when the clerk placed the $5 bill the Ohio Food Commissioner, shows Meanness of English Royalty. farmer gave him in the cash ball and sent it spinning towards the cashier'fr There seems to be a sort of mean desk a funny sight was witnessed. ness about the immorality of the men PILLS Our rural friend evidently thought ROYAL the purest Baking Powder. of the English royal family. Tney that was the last he would ever see of run very quickly to hide when any ol their peccadillos are brought to light his bill unless he moved lively, which BO KM outre mm sicEssr he did, keepinghis eye fixed on the ball. They don't consider it one of tht Bureew a for S I E A I duties of the station to set a good ex He collided with an old lady, fell over A impaired digestiou.corotlpatJM, Every other Baking Powder torpid eland* Thcjrarom* one of the seats, regained his feet and ample, though the nation pays them vital, organ*, remove nauem_ dizauieif Act like magic a id to do it, but they consider it on© ol kept right on until he arrived: at the »ey and bladder Ganqaer OO cashier's desk. bilious nervoiM diaoxden.,. their privileges not to.be found out in Eitabiuk n»tIMH.TPttrifyliiK.Acnoir A.V--" tested contained impurities— setting a bad example. Retaining all "By gosh! I want my money," he «w»plexiet* Bemittty gasped, "I've read too much about the prossness and ungraciousness of blood. Tvtpxx YKom*u. 5 The Th dofcl* dow niatto*djo*t«4tasaS»eM«, niatto djarttdtosaSteM* uiea M.OM pill pill can bunko steerers to lose my money, and the Hanoverians, they are fast developing neverb«too much. E*ch vial eontum 42, auned in vevt I'll have my change if I clean out the pocket, like kwd pencil Businen a great from o.i8 per,en vojj^i the selfishness and cowardice oi '1 convenience. Taken ea«ia to an tugar Sold every* whole sheebang." the Stuarts. The combination is Where. All gfaiMne good* bear '-Crescent." He was finally pacified, and departed Send 3-tnt ttanp. Ton ctt 38 pagebook with rnuopla. anything but a pretty one. It is curious 4§!f!'' amid the broad smiles oi the clerks Ot.HAKTEl HEOieWE CO., St. tools. M* in this connection to note that per cent, of their entire weignt |||4|5|5l the first act of the eldest son of the and customers in the store. As he DO YOU i!DB*writeartn Want to $30 0 in two Month/iS went out he muttered: prince of Wales, after taking the illomened a one* to E E title, duke of Clarence, hat "If I don't come to the city veary HOUSE St. Paul. Mlnn» .*** si often, them swindlers can't catch me been to get himself mixed up in ar I N S A N E I E Cur* i» 1 3 ugly and tragic scandal.—Philadelphia with their sawdust games."—Bwghampton days. Nevar returns. NoprtrB*\»oaaJve roanppaiitorr. Itetnedy fitted ltE $ Herald.s^^aSifCsiarifS Times. Address J. U. Itewras Box &&} Jt, X- Q«