S re me HAVBHna£|£g Gaze on the gay gray brigade. at a A a Ideal of W a lALAKIiU IP YO O *F*T* S The sea ceaseth and it sufficeth Lewiston Journal. -i Said an eastern man of fashion the us. Washington letter in The Philadelphia Tela Dther day: "To my mind the judicial "Struck a queer old fellow up graph. Say, should sueb. a shapely sash woman is a blot on the face of country," said one of the men who shabby stitches show? From lime to time there comes to he universe. We don't want planted the poles for a new telegraph SICK E A A E A61TK. O S Strange strategic statistics. the attention of the Supreme Justices women who can reason and work T1YE BOWELS, SOUK STOMACH company in this State. BSXCHXK6 ywa 4 a Give Grimes Jim's gilt gig-whip. something relating to every branch things out. We want dear, delightful, Pills.,wagpetitoo» ftfmfl»»e nmm. a a Sarah in a shawl shoveled soft ot human endeavor. The right of "He first came across us about two frivolous things who will float by snow softly. every man which he guards most us in butterfly fashion, making us no miles from his house as he was driving She sells sea-shells. carefully are those relating to the end of trouble and indneing us to be home from the village. Smith's spirit flask spilt Pbiffp's business or occupation by which, he willing to kill each other for their "Says he, 'Coming up my way with sixth peer' fifth squirrel's skull.— earns his living. Disputes upon these «akes. The time when woman was New York Ledger. them air?* Making an Explanation. rights lead to law suits, and out of at her best, TO my mind of thinking, them grow the Supreme Court cases 'Guess so,' said I. was in the middle ages when she sat I was getting shaved in a one-chair in re th«a trouble* r*em».'" fell In a Hurry and in considering them the Justice up in a window of a turreted castle on a in to a at irOlarntm, barber shop in a mountain town in 'Wal, don't yer tech the sile along Foreign Agitator—"My friend, how Timorous 2 3 bOK^- hrew her hankerchief down to one must learn something of the trade or Kentucky, and there was only one my fence. Wonldn't have one 'er SICKHEADAGHEI.EREHWYBEYEDSOJL many hours a day do you work?" knight and a hated rival rushed at profession, of the mechanieal or the other man in the shop besides the them poles planted 'erlong side my American Mechanic—"0, sometimes him as he grasped it, and they flew scientific point involved. Justice barber. The process was about half six, sometimes eight, sometimes premises for a hundred. Spile the at eaeh other and knocked their tin PoalttTvIyeared fej Lamar said, after making a very Ume Little Fills. throocrb. when some one was heard ten, twelve, or fourteen— depends on looks of everything.' hats off, the hated rival was stretched careful study of a patent ease the They a2*o i%li«T« walking on the veranda whlbb. surrounded how much I can get to do." out stiff and cold, and the maiden other day, that he had learned something "I told him that we would see tnMfromDy*p«pBiaJ»digaattanaBdTooHMxtr Foreign Agitator—"Slave! Slave! the shop, and pretty soon a in the turret applauded her gallant he never knew anything about about it and he rode away swearing btfng. A perfect zwnedy You are only a slave. My mission to knight and believed that he had done wild-lookirg face peered through the before he had learned all about the bloody murder. Well, we got up to forDtiifii«M.M»B this country is to form an organization Drowinr—. B»d well. The judicial female is a mental window. gussets and seams and bands of a his farm late the next day, and if it in the Month. Coated to hermaphrodite. corset. He had learned all about wasn't a dirty mean place then FU Tongn*3?fciiiin th* 8td«. "Say Bill, does he 'un want you?" American Mechanic—"I can't stop TOJtMl LI7HL & the stitches used and the number of eat a _oil of wire. Blinds off, barn *isked trie barber of the other man. r«gTtUl» th* Bov*li. to talk now. I must get around an caved in, old pung canted up in the Purely YrastabU. steels and where they should go to -Who all is it?7" A W with my deposit before the bank Price S S Cents: front yard, oh, it gave me a pain. support the female form. He had almost "Simmons, I reckon." "Yep, said old man Dunlap. I closes."—Puck. Old Particular was there in full warpaint. CASTES HZDICHTS CO., HEW YOBZ. to learn the corset trade in order 4*He 'un can't want me. I never member jest as well when the first He cursed and blew and to deliver a proper opinion in Small Pill. Small Dose. Small Price. did nothm' to him." caravan came th'ough these parts'Twuz Peculiar Collaterals. threatened when we began to set a the case, and he found it quite intresting. '"Stranger, does he "un want you?" forty-three years ago last pole his door-yard. But we went Sam Johnsing—Say. niggah, can't Thus the Justices have to If you have a asked the barber ot me. grass. They had the first elep hant ahead with the biz and left with the you lend me two dollahs for a few acquire all sorts of mechanical and "Who 0 Simmons as you call him." COUGH,t earaehe. Ths man said he'd never ever seen hereabouts—ole Bolivar— COLD or days? scientific knowledge in order to understand "Yes." sleep till he'd chopped the old an' I tell ye he was a buster. After Uncle Mose—I mout do hit. but all the cases that come before "Xever heard of him. What is he gallers down and he wouldn't eat they had got th'ough their performin' acute or leading? to what s'curity am yer gwinter gimme them. anj how^" till he'd used the wood to cook his ole Bolivar got loose an' went dat yer don't skedaddle jes as soon CONSUMPTION, "Oh, he "un lives back yere a bit. grub. rampagin' round the neighborhood, as yer has got de money? I There are great land lawyers, great Great hand to shute. Had any an' finally brought up down back Sam Johnsing—What s'curity! I'le "I laughed when I drove down by railroad lawyers, lawyers who make trouble with him?" gib you as s'curity my sacred word that house a lew days ago, about a o' Si Pettengill's hay-stack. Si'd "No." a specialty of patents, and some who EMULSION of honor as a srennerman and a pa'r year after we planted the poles. I nevee seen an elephant, an' next ••if *'^\ell, I'll go out and explain to know all about the marine law: but of ladder britches almos' as good as looked as though old huffy had become mornin,' when he turned the corner he* un. Might shute through the the Justice of the Supreme Court new.—Texas Sittings. pretty well reconciled to at window if I~didn*t. of his stack and ran smack up in must be all these, and more his outrage.' He put down his razor and went front of ole Bolivar, I tell ye it s'prized powers must be universal: he must S in "His wife had hitched a clothesline out, and when he returned Simmons O E O I E O I him some! He jest stopped, throwed deal with all the branches ot the law, on to that pole aud he had used Ethelinda (handing her mamma a was •with him. The shooter stepped AND HYPOPHOSPHTTES up both hands an' hollered, 'Gosh and with the laws of all the States. it for the corner post of a shelter letter)—Robert has proposed at around and took a square look at OF IXatB JJTD SODA The Supreme Court does not divide all hemlock! What a toad!' and put shed. Then on t'other side he had me, and then heaved a sigh of disappointment last. I S S GTTOEtJEJ O its labors, one taking patent cases, „fer the house."—Puck. nailed a cleat and hung up a bush This preparation contains the stimulating and said to the barber- Mamma (after reading it)—You one railroad cases, etc., but, though properties of the Hypophospkite* scythe and mud hoe a calf and a big and fine A'oru*e$rtt» Cod X*ver Oil. Used are mistaken in your belief that* Robert one Justice is named by the Chief: sheep were hitched to it. He had by physicians all the world over It is a* "Tain't he'un Sam, but so mighty is a college graduate. E E BROWW'B BRONCHIAL TBOCHIES for Justice to write out an opinion on a palatable as milk. Three times ss efficacious some boards, some iron rods an clus to it that I might hev popped 'onghs. Colds and all other Throat Troubles. as plain Cod liver Oil. A perfect "HOT* do you know, mamma?" case, the case itself must be thoroughly bolts lying near and as near as g^'Pre-eminently the best."—Bev. Henry Emulsion, better than allothers made. For through the glass." "From the fact that e^ ery word in studied by every member of the ard Beecher. all forms ot Wasting IKseaaes, Bronchitis, could judge was getting ready to* "Never does any hurt to explain his letter is correctly spelled."— ^m 1—• COKSUMPTIOir, court. They consider the case together, swing a gate on the much enduring matters.'' said the barber in a reflective Pittsburg Chronicle. Munsey's Weekly Lawyer—Young man. it after having studied it carefully pole. Above embellishments on the Scrofula, and as a Flesh Producer way as Simmons went out. you want to be acquitted you had better get each by himself, and they ail pole two signs. 'ShoTes foR Sale' and tnerelsnotning like SCOTTS EMOLSIOI. He 'un killed two men in this chair, me to -defend you. A W a A It is sold by all Druggists. Let no one by discuss it and they all vote upon it. 'OrKtiOn nexT TeWsdaY.' Prisoner (sizing htm op}—Igness Td have a and Idon't like the muss of it, That's Sophomore—I heard one of the profuse explanation or Impudent entreaty "I called the kicker out of the tieup better chance if you prosecuted me. what I went out to explain—if you induce you to accept a substitute. girl undergraduates making a truly A O S Us. and informed him that we should was he 'un's meat, he 'un was to wait A womanly answer the other day. WINTER'S FUK for 15 cents. Send QUicfc move the pole, and as I hurriedly FOB A GENERAL SYSTEM EJTTVEVATOR and and drap you outside." Detroit Philadelphia Inquirer. to box 383 Leslie. MiCh. blood pnnfier take Allen's IronT onic Bitters. Junio r—Ind eed? drove away I hearn him shouting, Free Press. A funny story is told at the expense All genuine bear the signature of J. P. Allen, Sopomore—Yes the professor in ATCMTC obtained. Fees moderate InformaIHILHI 'Why, then to gosh 't all Joos'ram Druggist, St. Paul, Mmn. O tionfreeJ. B. Littell 'Washington D.X of Sir Richard Moon. Chairman astronomy asked her why the earth Got Off Easy. don' ye? It's been an eye-sorejeyer goes round the sun. of the Board of Directors of the ence you struck it in my door-y#d!" A I KB CERT.profit, on ray Ccoea, Chicago Mother (to newly wedded daughter}— The court—Guilty or not guilty? W & a Belts, Broshes, Curlers and noretaes. SuapkS Junior—what answer did she make? And is Georee tender, dear? London and Northwestern Railway BEE. Write upm. Bndgtsaa. 373 Broadway. N iW Prisoner—Guilty. Bride of a Month—Almost as tender as papa's Sophomore "Because." New Solid iULVfi & I E smaller feet. Company. Sir Richard is one of the His or Up Court—You rally understand the celebrated canned corn beef. Sam- York Sun. fcW comfort. Pamphlet free most energetic railway magnates plepkg.,l0c he a nature ot the charge against you, I ^rom the Om^ha World Herald. ft 1 I I II E I Oires Constipatlot* a in Guilt. known, and is the terror of the employees preburne? August Uthoff is an Elkhorn saloon-keeper, A a W W as I I E I Ef and Sick Headaches. Three malignant foes to human happiness Free samples at all druggists or 319 W. *5th St*Kt^ ofthe company, for they never Prisoner—I do. First youna lady (examining directory who was arrested re_ co-operate for enL Their names are dyspepsia, pAMPPPQ Cored witheut the use of the KnifeUnllUI.no Court—And you still plead guilty a drug store)—I cannot know when he is about to pounce Gently charged with selling liquor on biliousness, constipation. Thongh at the lola Cancer Infirmary Iola. they constitute a strong syndicate, they can to having struck the blow which resulted TV aapaca. Co. Wis. TV nfr» for book of treatment. find thename in this directory,Ethel. upon them. He makes a point' of the Sabbath. He was taken before be overthrow* with Hostetter's Stomach in the death of Terrence Second young lady—No?" What DETECTIVES. Bitters. Not instantaneously, of course, but a justice at Elkhorn for trial, and visiting every station on the line at O'Shaunnessy, together with his by persistence. So can malarial, rheumatic shall we do? least once a year and has an odd straightway moved for a change of "Wanteda man in everylocality to actas Prrrat*Detective horse and load of hay? and kidney ailments and nerv ousness. Ask First young lady—Let us got under our instructions Particular*free. habit of overhauling the books and your druggist for Hostetter's Almanac and Prisoner—I do. venue. Capital Detective Bureau Co Topeka K* Hudnut's drug store and examine be advised of their super ior merit. accounts of station masters at inconvenient Court (after a pause)—Well, while their directory. They keep a better "What's that?" the court asked. I O I A O TheIiaa,biUty Billte times. He knows the price a the court would be justified pronouncing I O Dwadent wid- stock of everything.—New York "We don't want to be tried by fc»l»WIWIlW ows and parent* are iaduded. Washington Post: "Don't be shy," said the of everything and is said to have the full penalty ot the law If yon wish yow Mercury, paternal crawfish. rowed an unfortunate freight agent daim quickly and Successfully Prosecuted, you," UthofFs attorney responded. in your case, still, as this is your first ^*I can't help it," was the reply. "I am naturally wnte to JAMES TANJfEB, late Commissioner for giving too much for a packet The judge looked at him in astonishment, offense, and especially as there appears of Pensions, "Washington, D, C. backward." Misunderstood. ^T of carpet tacks. One day during th offs attorney expected to have been some mitigating a a West Shore: Deaf old lady (iu Old or new Law the Summer he dropped in at a fine for contempt of court, but he For a disordered liver try Beecham's Pills. circumstances, I am inclined to make Bounty and pay street-car accident): "Oh, sir, can Crew Station abont five A. M. aud escaped that. andernewdetiaioaa your punishment light. The sentence you tell me what has happened?" saw a couple of porters hard at work "I'd like to know why not?" the ...^ ii ft krKVMKg. ot the court is that you go Within the last thirty years the acreage Pious gentleman: "Pray calm yourself, J$ «'«».. ATfomera 1*1 ^t Washington. cleaning up things generally. Sir court remarked warmly. devoted to corn has increased from 14,000,000 free, but that your portrait be published IJ I liran hf* Chicago UftroiC anu Cleveland madame: remember that a kind to 78,000,000, and the amount produced Richard was delighted. "I like to "Well, we have an affidavit here to in the St. Louis daily newspaper?.—Whiteside Three Years army service 36 Years practice. from 500,000,000 to 2,000,000,000 bushels. heaven bends over all." Deaf old see such painstaking industry begun the effect that we feel that we cannot Herald. "Q A IT REMEDY FREE, vigor restored lady {to female companion): "Martha so bright and early in the morning." secure a fair and impartial trial. Two Giants VV EJ JV I have found a certain Self Cur* a which I will gladly send FREE to "Industry be blowed." said the man "You're a liar!" Dialoerues, Jane, what's that old fool sayin' MEN I I any fellow sufferer It cured me addressed tartly, who, of course, did after all else had failed. Addres» "Come off the roof!" as the lightmmr to me about men's overalls?" "You're unfriendly to us." R.THamiltoa,BoxClAlbion,Mieb not know who the fussy old gentleman "You're an infernal, no account, said to the shingle. On the on» hand—Scrofula, the ancient disease, PENSION a On a in a is was. "We don't commence known the world over, gnawing at the vitals of worthless liar. Yon and your client "I'm on to you!" as the flea remarked "It was a brave act. young man," every nation, existing in the blood of nearly work at this unearthly hour, but ought to be in jail. to the dog. every family—descended to us from our fathers said the grateful lather, with deep we've just heard that old nuisance. "We want to go before another "There's flies on you'" was the remark or acquired by our wrong habits andindulgences Special attentic given to the above NATHAI* feeling. "Atthe peril otyour life you Moon, is on the road somewhere and BICKFORO. "B" 3th S H. Inft,, SolicitorofClaimsWashington. court, anyway. —powerful, obstinate, almost impregnable. the footlights made to the D. C. References furnished in any rushed into the burning building and we're getting ready in case the old The justice rose up and roared. On the o^her hand—Hood's Sarsaparilla, the State Blanks and information,free stage. saved my daughter. How can I ever hunks should drop in om us unexpected I prescribe \nd tolly endorse modern medicine, the great enemy of impure "You make me tired," he cried. "You're off your nut!" laughed the Kg ii as the oaiy repay you?" In justice to Sir Richard be it blood, accomplishing the most wonderful cures "Do you think this court is going to specific forthecertain carr a to he wheel. of scrofula, salt rheum, etc.,—the conqueror of of this disease. "Would a couple of dollars be too said that he took no notice of the have you pawing all over the country a.H.OTQRAHAi£.M.ri 'You mcike me tired!" a id he disease, economical, reliable, sure much?" suggested the brave rescurer. approbrious remarks, but quietly Amsterdam, N. T. like Dogknees looking for a man wheel to the wheelwright. If you suffer at all from the Giant of Disease, "We nave sold Big 6 ioi slipped away and gave the crowd the —New York Mercury. with a lantern to suit your pleasure? conquer him by the aid of the Giant of Health, many years, and it hat "Get on to the jay'" remarked the given the best »t saU» go-by that time. Think the law is a thing to be tried on sparrow, to the thrush, as the bluejay faction. In Society. Hood's D.B.DYCHEACQ.. like a suit of clothes? You sit down flew by. Chicago, 111 there and give your evidence." Daughter—Mamma, what was the 81.00. Bold by Prngxistt- "It's nothing but a bluff" said the S he as a a Girl. name of the new plant we got from CthofFs attorney complied and A S E I N E chamois, as he looked o\ er the edge New York Sun: One of the best the'result was his client was fined a of the precipice. the florist's to-day?" Sarsaparilla Fdeliver,Efree OB OX DOLLAR sent us by mail, we will children's bon mots is told by a well flOO and was sent to jail. But the "I'm stucfc on you!" smiled the fly, Mamma—Really, daughter, I don't of all charges, to any person in known bookmaker in town. His attorney appeared before the district the Lnited States, all the following articles car*. when the sticky paper got in its work. know but I should think you could fully packed in a neat box little daughter was happy amid a court, recited the facts, and the —Boston Traveler. find it in the Encyclopaedia Botannica One two ounce bottle of Pure Vaseline. tOcta. Sold by andruggists 91 sixfor 5. Preparedonly One two ounce bottle aseUne Pomade. 15 parlor full of company, when bed saloon man was released. by 1 HOOD & CO Lowell. Mass. that the bookseller sent up yesterday.—Washington One Jar of Vaseline Cold Cream 15 One cake of Vaseline Camphor Ice.. .„10 Star. time came and she rebelled against Har to a IOO Doses One Dollar One cake of Vaseline Soap, unscented. lO having to leave. She threw herself A a ad been a in ra ad N a a re One cake of Vaseline Soap, eented. ..25 His Advice. the fashionable residence streets in on the floor, face down, and kicked One two ounce bottle of White Vaseline 25 Senator Jones, of Nevada, was put? Du Sappy—Ah, doctah, I am a Or for stamps any single article at the price." the city, stopped at the ience of a and screamed. "Come," said her BEECHAM'S PILLS off a street car in San Francisco because if OB have occasion to use Vaseline in ass fully afwaid that I, aw, might get form be careful to accept only genuine goods PUT mother, "be a good little girl, now Gwinnett County iarmer and asked he did not happen to have a npmby ns original packages. A great mans poisoned some, aw, day. What and go to bed. Don's you know for something to eat. MrliS tr3rm? Persuade buyers to takf A.CT T.TTCB TULA.GIC nickel in his pocket to pay his fare. VASELINE pat upby them. Never yield tosneh should I, aw, do if I accidentally what mamma has always told you— He was handed a plate filled with ON A WEAK STOMACH. persuasion, as the articlye isa an imitation without The story of the incident traveled dwank some wuff on wats? IaiU.eiand.w.?1 "g* *ni? theresultyon erp«!t. if you aren't a good little girl you bacon and greens and topped with a through the west, and his friends in a A bottle of Blue Seal Vaseline is sold by all dru£ Doctor—Run out into the yard. 25 Cents a Box. fgisst at tea cents, can't go to heaven?" I don't want pone of corn bread. spirit of humor and friendship had a Cbesebroagh MYg Co., 84 State St» Sew T«rk» "But, aw, whatfoah,doncherkno?" ,wi"I won't have it," said the tramp, to go to heaven, said the child. I arold headed cane made, which contained OP ALL DRUCCISTS. "So as not to die in the house."— K. W. N. V. 1890 No.5K Tmot mg the plate from him in deep want to go where papa goes." in the handle a compartment Lawrence American. scorn. sufficiently large to store one hundred l^\fe^e^m\^\qCutp "What do you want, then?" said five cent nickels. Cattl Killed by Elks. is Failing. the housewife. COLD HEA A ranchman living on the Satsop .Ol«H|*?l "Why don't you join our athletic The simple pressure of the thumb "Somethingbetter!" responded the Coll, missed three head of cattle, and club. The initiation fee is only $100 releases a nickel, and another slips into tramp, as he turned his face to the noticing a congregation of buzzards and the monthly dues only $10." place ready for use, like the cartridges east and stalked proudly down the V«TS a short distance away proceeded to I am afraid I could never be an in a magazine gun. On the road.—Atlanta Journal. make an investigation and found all athlete." RELIEVES INSTANTLY. handle was engraved "United States t| three of the animals lying dead,their "Why not—shortness of breath?" Senator J. P. Jones,&with the best Anger Appeased. ISCg BROTHERS, 56 Warren St.KegYodc Prke50 bones all broken^ their horns knocked "Ah, no merely shortness of funds. wishes of his Ftah friends." The Habitual whistler—O-oo! Wha— IRRIGATION PUMP. off, scarcely any hair left on them, —Texas Siftings. cane was formally presented to the would you murder me? and the ground around them all senator recently by ex-Governor West, Stranger (with pisjrol)—Prepare to His Angel Wife, torn up with elk tracks. Apparently of Utah, in the* presence of a number die! I have sworn to kill the next a band of elk had come up and attacked Wife—Before we were married you of senators and representatives.— 4^ man 1 heard whistling "Annie Rooney," them in an opening, hooked said I was an angel, but you never Chicago Inter-Ocean. Water Steam Vacuum Pumps, for Irrigating. and you are he. and baited them down, and pawed say so now. Stock, Drainage, Coffer Dams and Whistler—One moment. I was and stamped them to death. Husband (tenderly)—No, darling, T" Took it Out in Trade. Mining. The latest and most economical not "Annie Rooney." I was whistling pump made. Will raise 75,000 galkm but I wish you. were one.—Washings id that bogus minister ever pa "Rock Me to Sleep," the air waterwith one bushel coal, and elevate it ton Post. It W as AH Right. back that four ^dollars he^ borrowed that "Annie Rooney" was stolen I0tol30ft.high. Wehandle Well Drffline Machinery, Steam Flows, which torn ft from. Counselor John Griffith of Brooklyn of you?" *-& Women In the Casa. 14-in. farrows at one round. Send fonr Stranger—Eh? Do you consider resigned his seat to a lady going 4,"No—ye—that is, I took it out in He—"That man yonder was once cents in stampsfor m«iiwg catalogue, to- the author of "Annie Roonev" a up-town in a Kings County elevated trade."" 4 S the wealthiest man in the Mormon thief? train the other day, when, to his astonishment, IESTEHI lACHIIHY GQ. "In trade?" *•&& Church." t'*' Whistler—I do. a man slipped into the iJl'Yes ^I had him marry me."— She—"What broke Stranger—Come, have a drink.— 1412 17th St DENTEB, COLO.. vacant place and the lady didn't say judge..c *±'Mv mm3 jgg He—"A sudden change in fashions.'1 Jfew York Weekly. PESO'S a word. CATARRH^ -Best Easiest to QK. BSHEDT FOB A Great Need. —Munsey's Weekly. Ghespest. Relief is frmnwdiaite. A ems Js certain. For "Here," said the lawyer, "I gave Agent—"I want to sell you a pair For Agile Tongues.* that seat to this a What ofmy patent shoe-strings. They tie A Foolish Doctor. Here are some sentences which 0, that's all right sheTs my wife," themselves." Puck: "A Brooklyn physician bag rival the celebrated "Peter Piper's and the follower of Black stone had Citizen—"They won't do. want failed in business." "From what Peck of Pickled Peppers" in. testing to get a pair that will untie them* to leave the train at the next station canse?" "Bad management. He selves."—Puck. §|Rii to get some air.—New York. the agility of the tongner -,-" cured his only patient." r-fcsr1*^ mm