UNCEB TAIN. suspended a moment, then swept she meant was the ancestral bed-rooms t0.la.Si. AND MRS. BOWSER.* ONLY SIXTY YEARS AGO. SNAKES IN DAKOTA. h-fi toward the housetop, alighting upon were filled with relatives from a distance. A little Pegasus j" that unused chimney. Uncle True As these were from a cyclone f*^ BY MRS. BOWSER. School-Teaching That Will Seem Very A Story Probably as True as the Axer- i Will make a pi eater fuss ventured out and eyed them wistfullv. district, the Young Baskinses heard a Some weeks ago I referred to Mr. Funny to Boys and Girls "Who Now lieThaul one thrice his size wil not pull his load "Why couldn't ye come a week day?" tale of horror that sank deep inta^heir 1 Bowser's liberality in the matter of pin Attend New England Schools. A correspondent of The Dakota Bell he growled. "Then I could*, a got minds. ,t He ill not keep his road,, money. He began the most liberal In those days the first exercise was Collinshe's a great bee manand You can not make him wise. write?: "No part of our country is safe" these manner, but ended with the declaration: we'd put ye into that empty hive. It's reading two verses from the Testament days," said Baskins. I T^rstandthairfo1f^umM*-Sc-^ "Come!" with asperity a master pity it's the Sabbath a clean by the older pupils, who had back seals. I say, "and pull*for me "Out our way we're prepared," said counts of snakes met with in-thcterri- J? "See here Mrs. Bowser, this is all ten dollars as good sis throwed away." My van of comic verse."' the cyclone representative "We have After the reading if the teacher was a nonsense! We are one. What belongs tory" Nvheti they are sent to you. I He hangs his shaggy head, But soon his face brightened. There a cave in the cellar to run into let the to me belongs to you. Th man of prajer he offered onc^This .And sighs to me instead: hereby send you the true story of a Jf% was the skylight, he could put' the hive house sail off* then, we're safe giving you a certa sum of money "I'd rather draw jour hearse 1" was done while the little ones "were peculiar snake I saw three or four out of that, perhaps they would take a "The wind's going to sweep us jet," every week makes it appear as if you roasting before the fire. Then began "Where is that sentiment notion to it. weeks ago. !g .#|!$| said Baskins, rolling his big ej es prophetically were a servant. .When you want JFor which you List were sent?" the exercises in Webster's spellingbook, A moment later Uncle True was ptufting "what's to hinder? folks is money take it out of my wallet. If you I was ffoing 'from my place, a few I ask impatiently. up the attic stairs. The nerves in the teacher in winter pointing to cutting off trees, and leveling the hills Up go his heels, and off, can't find the wallet, just mention the miles from here, to a neighbor's to see^ his crown crawled as he remembered JLnd back he brings a scoff as fast as they can. Some day they'll 1 the letters with a penknife, and sum that vou want about a corn-cultivator he had borrowed Or foolish jest to me. how it had seemed to attract the insects wake up and" find themselves to the "But, Mr. Bowser, 1 "?J summer with the point of his scissors, of me. 1 took a short cut and still he ventured a leg out upon the mercy o' the elements. I never can foresee No buts about it! You were going as they were more or less in use. the long sloping roof, and gently What he will bring to me, was on the side of a bluff facing the Under the circumstances, it is not* to say \ou hated to be obliged to ask Nor wnere he'll choose to balk. proffered a homo to the rovers, muttering: Thumps were generally on the head, surprising that the children and Mrs. riverthe Missouri. I was going near for moneyI, your own husband! I scarcely daie at all \l with a thimble on the teacher's finger, Baskins dreamed of cyclones. When a wife gets as sensitive as that she some small trees when I heard a peculiar "To ride him lest I fall if a female. Then came the study of "There, ye can't do better'n that!" The Trues began operations at daybreak. 'Tis safer far to walk! should be obliged to go barefooted for noise. First I thought it was the a-b, ab. Then reading was begun They rose in a body, and with them A smotheied chip fire was three months in winter Yetlittle elfin steed, distant ringing of church-bells, but I with the maxim, "Let no man put off Uncle True's hope only to fall again, ligthed in the opening of the chimney Useless in time of need, I let the matter drop for a few days, soon remembered that that was impossible. as they at their queen's behest went the law of God." Then as the reader to smother out the bees. Uncertain at all times but one day when I wanted a dollar down into the Baskins chimney! progressed came the* stories in Webster's I stopped and listened, and JJestive, and rough, and wild, "I don't calc'late they're verv far to buy some notions I went to Mr. How often'you've beguiled "Pesky things!" he ejaculated. As spelling-book of the unfortunate soon saw that it seemed to proceed down," said Uncle True "guess I can Bowser's coat, which was hanging on Dull pain away with rnymes. the church-goers were returning he and sillv dairy maid who, with her reach them with along-handled spoon." from the little grove. I next thought the hall-tree for the moment, and took *'A poor thing, but mine own withdrew the nive, closed the skylight milk pail ou her head, calculated how Then he equipped himself in a hat out the family wallet No, I didn't, that it might be an Indian concealed Then leave me not alone with a bang, and then appeared below many eggs she would sell it for and draped with musquito netting to his either. It wasn't there. I decided to A foolish dream is mine there playing on some musical instrument, just as Aunt True bustled in. what a line dress she would buy, until, waist, a long iron spoon and preserving Of mounting you some night wait awhile, and that night when Mr. though it d.d not seem hardly "Feel better, Joshua? Such a sermon tossing her head with these prideful For a wild distant flight kettle, and started skyward. Mrs. Bowser was sound asleep and blowing as we had,you don't know what Wheie stars unnumbered shine. probable. I made up my. mind to find reflect ons, down came the milkpail to True took a favorable sight-seeing his fog norn, I got up to look for his you missed." the ground and with it all her sweet position in the back yard. out, anyhow. Margaret Yandegy ift, June Century. wallet, It couldn't be found. All the "I'm alluz missing something!" hopes. Uncle True peered cautiously into money he had about him was one poor, I went over to the grove and walked Ijt] Uncle True answered, crossly. Joshua True's Experiment. the chimney. lonesome nickel. I was wondering among the tiees. I soon came to some "Why, what's the matter?" Then there was tne moral story "It's jamb full o' suthi'," he told whether half of it belonged to me low bushes and noticed that the noise i "Matter enough! Baskins is ten about the bo^s stealing apples. The Aunt True "must be a powerful big or not, when the fog-horn ceased to seemed to come trorn an open place I dollars richer and I the poorer this farmer first tr ed to stop them by throwing swarm." "Uncle1' Joshua True and Solomon toot and Mr. Bowser lose up in bed and beyond them. I dropped on "my knees morning." tufts of grasi, but finding them of "Sure they are smoked out enough, shouted: on a small stump and looked through. 'Baskins lived in the double house on Then he told her how the bees had no effect he thiew stones, which were Joshua^ At first I couldn't see anything. I "What in blankety blazes are you come, and "every soul of 'em gone into Cedar street "No roof is large enough more effectual. The American Preceptor looked a little longer and thought I "Oh, yes, they're quiet none o' them doing with mv clothes?" Baskin's west chimbly." succeeded that book. The children to cover two families"in this case saw a snake's head turned away from aint going out or coming in. There's "1 wanted thefamdy wallet!" Aunt True sat right down, bonnet in were given a lecess, though it was not me. My first thought was to go ahead a leetle buzzing, but that don't 'mount 4here were children, and the tenements "Oh! jou did! You get up at midnight hand while Joshua enlarged upon the known by that name. The boys went and kill the snake, but 1 was afraid of to nothingno more'n a hens flutterin' to rob your husband, do you?" 'Were not properly separated. The subject. He said he'd given anything first by themselves, and afterward the sturbing whatever it was that was when her head's chopped off!" "But half the money is mine." True's had to enter the Baskms' "part" if the bees had come to him he would girls. Ait recess the teacher mended making the music, so I waited. I could While doing two th ngs at once "Mrs. Bowser, you drop that coat to go down cellar the Baskins the have planted buckwheat for them, and see nothing else, though I creut part the goose-quill pens, the quills being speculating how much sweetness such a and jump into this bed as quick as in the fall smoked them out, and True's to go up stairs one could always way around the open place. I rose up picked up otteutimes while the children colony could procure, and thrusting in Heaven will let ou, and if I ever catch gathered the honey. and stalled to go on through, thinking gaze into the kitchen the other did the spoon Uncle True's elbow started were on the was to school. They you tr\ ing to rob me again I'll apply Suddenly Aunt True spoke. as I could see nothing that the noise a brick down the chimney. In an would be damp, and a split could not -not pause, but was sure to leave the for a divorce within an hour!" "I don't care if them bees be in Baskin's must come from beyond. I was just instant that "powerful swarm" darted well be made to form the two nibs. If When he thought 1 was asleep he cellar door open, which caused "hard chimbly! You found them and taking the first step when my eyes fell up right into Uncle True's face, as he there were girls who could not learn slipped out of bed and took the wallet feelings" at times betwen the ferni-nine you've the fust right besides it opens on the snake again, and I thought I peeped intently over. With a howl of the "rule of thiee," the teacher exjilained from under the dresser, where he had heads of the tribes. Aunt True, in our cellar, and that gives us some noticed something peculiar. I stopped fright, he dropped the kettle. It rolled it during the recess. Shortlv carefully hidden it. and inspect the who was immaculately neat, was esfee.all title to them." and looked closely. The snake was not and bumped the length of the roof, then came a rap ou the window to call in all contents to see if anything was gone. more than five yards away from me, tormented. The Baskinses "That's so!" cried Uncle True. "Of bounded off. striking the ground just I he children. After geography followed I had firmly made up my mind never and its head was now sideways to me. course they Lilong to me,no question where Aunt True stood a moment before. reveled in her clean paths, turned her a lesson in grammar, tort/ minutes to ask him tor a cent, but next day he I then saw that the snake was what but the law'd dec de that! But long, which none ot the chddien understood, seemed so good natiued that I ventured front steps into a mud-pie bakery, and produced the music. Its head was elevated Baskins might not think so!" but mo^t of them hated. Ruled This woke the Baskinses like an electric to say: even Baby Baskins lolled there when a little above the top of the grass, "I don't s'pose he'd divide," said shock. They set up in bed bewildered paper was not known. The father "There are several little things I his attire was most disordered. which was at that time some four or Aunt True, "them Baskins is bound and frightened. Then, hearing bought a few sheets of paper, wlrch badly need, and as I am going down five inches high. lis neck was bent get all there is, every time! I shouldn't the clatter of Uncle Tom's boots down weie stitched at home. It was ot all town this afternoon I'd better buy One would conclude that they believed over so that its head was horizontal. mention the bees mabe they wouldn't the slope of the loof, Baskins said: them." quihties. The teacher had to rule the in having "all things in com- An inch or so in front of its mouth hnd it out all summer." "It's probably a cyclone we haven't liue^ and keep bus,\ mending the pens. "Certainly, my love. Will a five do?" mon," but just let them see Bert True appeared to be a small twig, or at "Fact is, it's alluz best to manage had tue equinoctial ye t! The only The ink was home made. "Oh, yes." fill his pockets with their apples! Then least something with a thin, slender folks quietly," chimed in Uncle True" thing that'll save us is to get out of the Latei on camo the Columbian Orator "All righthere it is. If five isn't point about nve inches long on it, the shrill cry was: Little did either dream what a part house and away from the trees and English Reader, filled with solid enough take ten." pointed straight toward the snake's they would have to act or how often be As the Baskinses tied out of the back "Them's ournyou've took 'em from matter not suited to the want? of the took five and I was just making out month, wh eh was opened a little. On forced into untruths. door, Uncle True, wishing only to distance learner. Chihhen of 16, or about that a list of articles which I proposed to our side!" this flat point, which looked some like Never were there such active, hottempeied the bees, suddenly dropped among buy when Mr.Bowee came in with a age, got to lead very well, the book The discussion that followed was so the end of a reed, the snake was blowing r?" insectsthe young Baskinses them, in their back yard,' and rolled bill in his hand and sa.d: passing from class to class. The girls spersonal that it had to be silenced by and producing the music I had were continually getting stung by what over groaning. Perhaps they took "Here's the shade tree man after his were generally the beat readers. There heard. they called hornets. Uncle True felt 4he parents, who did so from principle, him for some strange being, tipped off pay. You may give me that five and were no regular classes in arithmetic, very like a liar when he told Mrs. Baskins: for each secretly inclined to "our side." I remained very still and watched it another planet by a freak of the cyclone I'll give you three silver dollars." but the books were D.vboll's and P.ke's closely. It played a legular niolodw at any rate, they did not recognize 'Uncle true who suffered most, because An hour later he sent up a dollar's arithmetics. No lessons weie erven It was not loud, but sweet. I hardly him in his "bee protector," for as "It is a powerful year for 'em I've worth of strawbemes accompanied by out but a pupil could get on as he -the Baskinses were most, said: got stung nvjself?" know what instalment it sounded like, the prone figure flopped its hands a note asking me to pay for them, and could. The teacher, if he could, would "Neighbor Baskins, children as though it reminded me of a mouthoigan wildly sKywaid, and gasped for speech, "Must be there's a nest under the so I got down town with only two dollars woik out a 'Sum." He had a book young as yourn has got to be some, only it was better music Baskins shouted: eaves," she said as she applied saleratns in my pocket. I made them go as with the problem worked out. When nowdwh-ch fence off, stands to reason," adding than I ever heard on a mouth-oro-an. water. "Run, all on ye! Make for the open -Jar as possible, and was rather proud acifically, how be they agoing to a pupil was tioubled he would copy It seemed to bo produced much on the field!" And Uncle True pretended to hunt of my purchases when I get home. I is which. from this, and the pupil in turn would same principle of a mouth-organ, but for it. "Run" they did, fast and far, screaming had them spread out on the table in the "It ain't all the children!" put in copy it into a similar book in his desk, how the dilfeient tones were made was till the neighborhood was aroused. Then, when the garden blossomed to sitting-room when Mr. Bowser come "Mrs, Baskins. "Your wife didn't and that satisfied both teacher and pupil. a mystery. I kept watching and listening buckwheat alone," and Baskins was As the Baskinses crowded through rushing with: know which was which when she used But the happiest exercise was at for a long time, but my curiosity amazed, Uncle True explained the unusual the gate that opened into a large field, "Say! that colored man is through out o' my firkin o' barberry sass all the end of the week reciting from the got the best of me at last I tried to spectacle by saying he "liked to the elder Baskins looked back to see if sleaning up the allev, and I can't make last winter!" commandments and the catechism and get a little nearer, when the snake see it blow!" the house had gone over. To his surprise, shange with him. Haven't you got a So the landlord divided them, from the tables ot weights and measures. heard me and started to dart away. I it remained apparently firm, not Later in the summer Joshua could dollar and a half of that money?" -the front gate to the double doors from The books of the Old Testament had to seized upon part ot a dry limb" and even the chimneys had started. He not forbear an inspection of the chimney, "Why, no!" the "stoops" in the rear straight be recited in order.New London Day. struck at it intending to stun it and so he took cement with him that noted also how still the trees were, "Nor a dollar?" (through the back yard. To be sure secuie it alive it possible. I struck too he might be able to say to the Baskinses One Safe Theater. and what a perfect morning it was. "I haven't a penny left" tthere was in the True's cellar an opening haul, and soon saw that I had killed it that he was "mending the chim- "Surely this is no cyclone," he said, People who want to enjoy a play in "What! Squandered every cent of to a chimney that ran through part," but that seemed I straightened it out aud found it to bly!" and at once ordered a halt, while he peace of mind will have to go to Belgium. Baskins1 that mone That's just as I expected! "'the be only about three feet long. Its body went back to reconnoitre. His attention "You won't get no thanks from our The new Flemish theater in Brussels I was told when I married you that I'd then of no importance, for it was never was lound and daik-colored. Its neck was at once called to the groans landlord," observed Mrs. Baskins bring up in the poor house inside of promises, when completed, to afford sised. was somewhat pulled out, probably by of Uncle True, who was being helped "it's his place to do the repairs. One ten years, an I begin to believe it was After the bones of contention were every guarantee of safety which the blowing. Its head was small and over the fence by his wife. The former, of our chimnev's should ought to be true prediction!" -equally portioned, both tribes fraternized the most timid playgoer could desire. mouth rather peculiar. I had looked seen to, but I won't let my man risk seeing through his thick veil that over the new back yaid fence. "But, Mr. Bowser, you only gave The materials employed in its construction at it some time before 1 noticed its tail. his neck." it was Mr. Baskms, called out: i^ Said Baskins with great decision: aae two dol are stone and iron and When I did so I can truly say that I "I've had a terrible fall, neighbor And Uncle True, fearing Baskins "Just let me know if any of our He was gone before I had finished though it will be impossible to dispense was astonished. The reed-like point it Baskins I think I've broke my back. w,ould emulate him and discover the "young ones cl.mb over!" Adding She sentence, and during all the evening with woodwoik altogether on had been playing on was the tip of us hidden treasure, declared he wouldn't I'll never fix a chimney again!" "What's the good of a fence if it don't he hadn't a word to say, I the stage, all the timber used will first own tail. risk himself on that slippery roof With that he was ushered into the H" mean nothing?" *hmk he felt conscience-stricken, however, be rendered absolutely incombustible. For nearly six inches th tail was again. house, and the door slammed oehind for next day he sjud: This sentiment elicited from Uncle Two broad flights of sturo, one at each flat, like a' reed and was composed of him. X-, True a fervent "That's so! And if The buckwheat blossomed, and its "Mrs. Bowser, you have the look of side ot the main entrance, lead to the {T something which appeared to he thin sweetness was culled by the busy insects. As Mr. Baskins gazed upon the roof ^'Our Beit tiespasses I'll be obleeged if a child, and vou don't know the villainy grand circle and the fojer, which are bone. It could be diawn in or 'thrust of the house, and saw many bees fly ing you'll tell me!" of this woikl anv more than a on the first floor. Thiee upper tiers out exactl\ like the sting of a wasp, angrily around the chimney, the absence ikw The children literally "sat upon" "Reg'lar workers, they are," Uncle child seven years old. What I oject to have each its own independent stairway and when I noticed this peculiarity I of several br.cks, a long spoon is the way these dry goods clerks swindle L^'that fence for hours, coveting forbidden True often said, gleefully. "That opening directly on the instantlv knew that it varied the tone you. They take every advantage and iron kettle on the ground, a dilapidated I -places. If the Baskinses played ball it chimbly must be tilling up fast. Things street. The building is provided with from one note to another by lengthening of your greeness, and when they cheat patch of buckwheat in his neighbor's was sure to fall upon Uncle True's bave gone along nicely. The Baskinses twelve different outlets nine for the or shortening this reed I do not you they rob me." yard, the truth gradually dawned greensurely it was a boy's high privfiege don't strust just as soon as they egress of the spectators and three for know whether it was making the music upon him. to scale a fence!" start we'll get the honey." "But have I been cheated?" that ot the personnel. But the most wholly for its own amusement or to attract '$$ At last a Sabbath dawned that Uncle "Come back!" he shouted to his The buchwheat faded. "Have you! What did you ever buy or.ginal feature in the construction is its mate. I would give $100-if I If* True never forgot. Somethinghe family "it's no cycloneonly another "When are the Baskinses going to that you were not cheated? Mrs. had captured it alive. the system of external balconies or F^ thinks now was Satan himselfsud||jdenl of Old True's experiments." the beach?" each asked the other. Bowser, you are no more tit to walk outer galleiies, corresponding to those I think everybody will admit that jit prompted him to stay at home. As Joshua True sat bolstered up in into a dry goods store with a $10 bill The summer went, but alas, the is a very peculiar snake. No one su-ouud in the interior of the building, with wk "Guess I won't go to meetin' to-day, his armchair before the tire, it seemed in your purse than our old cat is to Baskinses stayed they "couldn't afford here ever heard of any of the kind except which thev communicate by no fewer Ip^SjParaely," he said I'm feelin' a little judge of a lawn-mower! After this I as if every one who passed the house, the seashore" that year! It began my hired man, who claims he will do the buying. Is anything needed i^tsHtn a favorite expression, although looked at the chimney and smiled. than a hundred different doorstwentyfive to look as if Uncle True would never has. After I went hofbe and told my just now?" was very stout. "You and Bert go Even the boys paused on their way to get a chance at the colony. Fortunately, to each tier. These Balconies are story, he sa'd that he once saw onenear and fill up the pew." school, explaining to some new-comer: the fall was unusually long and "Why, baby ought to have some further connected with each other bv Grand river in Missouri. He said "Old True's home rundown the roof." warm the bees kept on working "clear new dresses, and we need some tablelinen." Bert's health also had declined since iron stairs of good width and easy descent tnat when he ran across it it was lying Bert also, although innocent, was up to Thanksgiving. Saturday so he demurred, and was and the lowest of the four is on a large flat stone playing the tune 8 punished for the sins of his parents, sternly rebuked by his father. Mrs. On* the morning of that day, Mr. "Very well I'll see to it." capacious enough to give standing-room of the "Arkansaw Tiaveler," while a for his playmates called him "Hone\!" True also hung back, saying she was Baskins started for his native town I knew about what would happen. to the entire audience.St. .Jame^ rattlesnake was coiled up near by,, keeping This was more than Uncle True not "myself," but Uncle True persisted with his family. He slipped off early next morning, and Gazette. time with the rattles on his tail. I could bear he decided to move away, in thinking she was, and his chosen was home by 10 o'clock with a backload "Calc'late to make a long stop, don't believe the story, as! have found, neighbor?" and start anew among strangers. It of dry goods. .representative. fff, him very unreliable other things. was some days before his wife could be Same House. Uncle True spoke carelesslv as possible. "Because I let up once in a while it's "Dresses for the baby, "he observed,as Besides he claims that he used to.know persuaded to go, but at last she said: he untied the package. '"What do vou TOO reason everybody else should!" "Yes, speculation ruined me,** he Jessie and Frank James. I think he invented "We'll go, Joshuay, but," shaking think of thisand thisand this? Got Mrs. 'Baskms said. X"Pa wouldn't .Said Uncle True. "I've got to watch sighed, as he bit off another chew of his story, simply to make fun of her long forefinger at him, which tnent hear to their coming home till the next ten per cent off on each pattern and I the place 'tother /part'11 be empty cheap plug. "In my last deal in stocks what I said. afternoon." she was in earnest, "don't you let me saw to it that the measure was fall." Mis' Baskins has taken the baby to her What I have told above is the honest I lost my elegant home on Fifth aven- 1 hear anything more about experiments."Helen He held up seven yards of alpaca, a That would give Uncle True plenty i, mother's and the rest ^are goin' to ue." truth and not exaggerated a bit. Of Pearson Barnard, in pattern of green worsted, a third in of time. "ff,?^ meetin'." r*'-^M *4 course I do not know whether ther "Was it Now Q,94(v' asked a man on the Boston Traveller. ,$ ^.jr*^ striped summer silk, fourth in second "Don't hnrry back!" he ejaculated, it It took muclf in^U^ltart .UnclVf the box." are manv others in the country or not. ,v. ~r i^-k mourning calico, the fifth and last in scarcely knowing what he said. "We'll 5 True's family off without him. I bave the reed off the tail of this one "It was.'* '*C satin, which was as stiff as a Brussels water the hens seem's though ye j, "Strange 1 can't stay to home once Something Bstter. .V& & and anyone wh doesn't believe it can "Then I was the Wan" who got it** carpet wouldn't neverye scarcely ever go 'without working so hard for it," he seejt. Yours sincerely. "Possible? But you also seem to be "You an't speculating any in cotton away!" "Mr. Bowser, what on earth have -muttered as he elongated himself upon in bad luck." you!" Then he rushed into the house excited now, I hear," he observed to Uncle the sitting-room lounge. "Been I am. The wages of the servants as a boy, thrust a mischievous "And here's stockings for himred, A Generous Judge.^ I *bout as cheap to have shaved up and Joe Rogers, of Richmond the other in that house for six months bankrupted 'finger into his wife's side, and when white, blue, green, orange, terra-cotta jgone, too." day. .^So you've been drunk again,** said me, and I haven't been able to brace she-winced, whispered: and black. I don't propose that any But even now, dispete the quiet, Uncle 'No, sahno atft sah. Dat is, I the judge severely, up again."Wall Street News. young'un of mine shall go barefoot." & True could not rest. He went into "They've gone at last,coast's 3-ouyou buym' any fuchers any mo "Yes. youy honor.' "Oh! Mr. Bowser, clear the yard, scarcely knowing what to do toiay ft "Got sunthin' better?'-' anything1 "Have yo "And here's three green tablecloths Summer Idiots. A with the sacred hour. He walked Even this fact did' nofbpen line way sr "A good deal bettah, sah&Sl'ze lf? and two dozen red napkins^ t*^ match, lowly down the little path, paused to This is the season of the year when we for an immediate attack upon the bees. night 'watchman at a compress, an' I andwhat ails you now?" /solemnly inspect the upspringing The Trues waited, fearing the Baskinses are thrown into the society of the man "No, yoar honor.'* *$ 4ftt* *u speculate in de raw material now. It's *Nnothing!" /lettuce, pondered before the hennery till might return for some forgotten who rocks the boat for fun if he goes I don't see what I can do but give all rise anI no fall da-t^l^all Street "Didn't I get enough?" th mmales were alarmed At the unusua article then company came and stayed you ninety days and $50." fe* oat with you for a row on the lake or Ot News. *jj "But we can't use these thingsnot attention, lingered in meditation all day, "Thank ye "judge, thank yeV' nver. He never gets to be over 80 a single article!" *4 eweet over the pigpen until the "Thcv have spiled our best chance!" "Thank me for what?" years of age and generally participates A Smart Traveling: Man. He looked at me in a wild-eyed way occupant rose- from his Sabbeth nap Uncle True said dolefullv. "For the $50 you said ou'd gimme. in a double funeral. Beware of him for half a minute, and then sailed the and approached him with an interrogative "Never mind," said Aunt True, It'll be mighty welcome," cos I'm hard "That'll be thirty-five cents." sa(a Albany Journal. green tablecloths and napkins through grunt "we'll send JBert to his cousin's tonight, up.**Merchant Traveler. the telegraph operator to the traveling *lw the &'X into the parlor and said: |JC Suddenly something like a small and get everything ready for an ito man who had just sent a message. "That's the last time you ean'inakt' -$lac cloud came between him and the early start to-morrow." Somebody Migftt Carry Him Oft I Beats AIL lt "Do you want it right away?"*? a fool of me! Don't never ask me to iBun Uncle True The Trues retired long before the started guiltywas y "It is a pity ha is snoh an egregious 3 t*|"Iniade a little extra dust yesterday," do any more trading for you while we mature about to punish him for evading "Certainly. Cash is the rule here. usual time, and slept too soundly!for sho ass, dear. i& divinely handsome/' sbserved Squilding. i^ ^j" live together, fort 1 nwouldn' da it to religious privileges? Then he saw a they did not hear the Baskinses return Didn't von know that?" jgg asked Mo- it?' "That is just the trouble. I would save yourfind neckanl f! I've saved at least $5 that it was a swarm of bees hovering "How did you do about midnight As Mrs. Baskins sad "Can't say I did. It lias afire-ays over what vou could have done, and directly over his bald pate! Uncle True not much mind marrying a rich fool "Pa's too full to accommodate us Syvilligeu. been my impression that telegraph a covered it with both hands and fled to which might have been taken literally but a handsome one into the bargain,it messages went through on tick*"*- "My wife got me to beat the carpets,'' the house. Like a living ball they hung sane jealousy VDetroit Free iYess. after "Pa's" hearty dinner, hut what Merchant Traveler. is too risky."Town Topics. Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph,