H^ rxr r-~y K",rafm'- V'v^wrr ^waww Msw PM 1 NEW ULM REVIEW, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 8, 1883- rite PARSONS'- PILLS aBMMMMMiaiaMAMattwttaMaMHMBMa THE GREAT GERMAN WIT AND HUMOB. Just at this moment the race began. REMEDY The woman took the lead. She was The New York Sun calls the latest passed on the corner of the track by the FOR PAIN. THE BEST creature in society the Dudus Americanus. man's team, and the excitement grew. The dudes could hardly contain themselves. RAIL WAV OF ALL, "Mamma," asked a little Episcopalian, Around the last corner flew the Believes and cures "if the big catechism is a catechism teams, and as they passed the judge's T7e -continTse to RHEUMATIS M, 1MEA.KJB WElrV RICH BLOOD, TIIE(Chicago& ain't the smaller catechism a North-Western aclassolicttorsfor stand the cry went up, "The man wins neck.1' and so it proved, much to patents, caveats, kittenchism?"Lamptoii's Levity. Neuralgia, And trill completely change the blood in th entire system in three month*. Any per- by a 3&-maiks, copyrights, etc for Sciatica, Lumbago, son who will take 1 Pill each night from 1 to 18 weeks, may be restored to sound Railway is the the chagrin of the dude who had laid An old lady was asked her opinion tLe United States, and to obtainpaiei health, if such a thing be possible. Fo.- curing Female Complaints these Fills have no OLD ESTABLISHED SHORT LINE BACKACHE, the odds on the woman. As he paid the about Mrs. Smith, her next-door neighbor. ta Canada, England, France, equal. Physicians use them in their practice. Sold everywhere, or sent by mail for UNITEILSTAT|SnFAST MAIL ROUTE TOR MAX? AND BEAST. G^r-airiy, and all other countries. HEADACHE, TOOTHACHB, debt of honor he said in a voice choked "Well," she said, I am not the TJmty-six years'practice. No eight letter-stamps. Send for circular. I. S. JOHNSON & CO., BOSTON, MASS. with emotion: I think it's real mean one to speak ill of anybody, but I feel SORE THROAT, chargo fot CHICAGO It is the Great Thoroughfare trom and to c-sninabon of XBOJPIS OI cl-awinss. CROUP, ASTHMA, BRONCHITIS. don'tcher know, I've been here three very sorry for Mr. Smith." For more than a third a century the Advce b/mail free." QTJIKSY, SWELLING* jIXciicmMus i aigl,islineTit has been New York dialer poem was nights on complimentary tickets and the JOHNSON'S ANODYNE MNIJHENT will instantaneously Patont3 obtained through tss aro noticed in Holmes1 SPBAIKS, I known millions all over the world a 1 rehe\ these terrible diseases, and will posltirely woman has won every time." the SCIENTIFIC A3ZEHICAN, wlreh baa Soreness, Cuts, Bruises, I the only sa.e reliance for the relief telegraphed West, and the line. cure nine cases out of ten Information that will sare And all point3 in Northern Illinois, central, the largest circalation, aud is t'ae nio'st inliu- I accidents and pain. I i a medicine many lnes sent free by mail. Uon delay a moment FROSTBITES, Eastern and Northwestern Iowa, "Thereforo I scant the breathing courtesy," SlTaal newspapei oiitskmd publishedm the I above i ice and praisethe lest lis I Prevention is better than euro Wisconsin, Northern Michigan, Minnesota, was printed, hind. Fov every foiin of external pain BURNS, SCALDS, world. The advantages ot such a noftce every In a Tight Tix. i JOHNSON'S ANODYNE LiEMlMENT \%%f'S&&i Dakota, Manitoba, Central and 4 And all other bodily ache "Therefore I scent the breathing cookery.'* ICAN 1 patentee, understands Northern Ifebrasha, Colorado, Wyoming John Lyons, a well-known citizen of a nd pains. Thia large and spkididly illustrated newspaper Scotch minister: "John, I' afraid Utah, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, iNenraign, Influenza, Sore Lungs, Bleeding at the Lungs, Chronic Hoarseness, Hackin Cough, Whooping Cough, FIFTY CENTS A BOTTLE. this county, while at work in the shaft California, Oregon, Washington Territory, Chron'c Rheumatism, Chronic Diarrhoea, Chronic Dvsentcrv, Cholera Morbus, Kidney Troubles, Diseases of the ispubhshed Vi EEKI/X at ?3 20 a jcar, you are on the broad road." Inebriated Sold by all Druggists and Spme and Lame Back. Sold every here. Send for pamphlet to I S JOHNS ON Co., BOSTON, MASS. British Columbia, China, Japan, of his mine near Tres Alamos, had just and 13 admitted to be tho best paper demoted inf parishioner: "Weel, minister, as far Dealers. Directions in 11 the Sandwich Islands, Australia. New engmee1 to science, riiechanics,inventions, English Veterniar\ Surgeon and Chemist put in a blast and lighted the fuse, languages. Zealand, and all principal points tho I Mustang Liniment is without an equal as I' concerned the breadth is a' required." now traveling in this countrj, sa that most I works, and other dcpaitments ot luciastnal when, on Teaching the top of the shaft, NORTH, NORTHWEST and WEST. The Charles A. Vogeler Co. of the Horse and Cattle Powders sold here I progiess, published any coiinriy Single I pciietrntes flesli and muscle With its own lines it traverses North* are ort'tless trash saj that Sheridan 1 he beheld four mounted Apaches rapidly (S-esora to A VOGELER & CO) copies by mail, 10 ce/its. "Sold bj "all newsdeal itlie reiy bonemaking the conuuuInnco Condition Powders are absolutely pure and ern IIXINOIS, Central and Northern The first passenger train passed over Baltimore, Hd., C. 8. A pam and inflammation lmposfcible. eis. II approaching. As they saw him immenseh aluable Nothing on earth will make hens lay like Sheridan's Condition Powders Dose 1 teasp IOWA, WISCONSIN, Northern MICHI- Its effects upon Hi,man Flesh and 1 the Pemigewasset Railroad a shoi't tnl to 1 omt food Sold everywhere, or sent by mad for 8 letter-stamps. X. S JOHHS OH & Co., BOSTO N, MASS. ddres3. Mtinn & Co pubhshfTv *T"*'r Scion- GAN, MINNESOTA, and Central DAKO- emerge they increased their pace, and Broadway,TT^ 1 the i iit i at ion aro equally womlci TA. It offers to the traveler all accommodations time since. If that word should ever tihe ATPpriran, 261 their fiendish yells relieved Mr. Lyons |ful. The Sloxican L-'DiAE. HHKHAffl, OF LYNN, MASS.. that can be offered by any Hajs&oook aboa^rr-oirs ril'i get upon the track there will be a fearful of all doubt as to their intentions toward railroad. Its train service equals that 'fSfSSffi* BUTTER COLOR smash-up. of any road their speed is as great as himself. For an instant he was comfort and safety will permit they "Here, now," said a mother to her paralyzed with terror. Being entirely make close connections union depots little boy, "take this good medicine. at junction and terminal points with unarmed, l-esistance was not to be ?h& Liniment i reeded somebody dsred color the year round. The la-jrest Butter Buyers recommend its uss the leading railroads of the Weet and It's sweet as sugar." "Mamma, I love GIvesJ8utterthosriltM thought of, while escape by flight was cveiyhouse, ^veiydpybiing^newsd Northwest, and offer to those that use ousands of Dairyum say I I S PERFECT. Lsed by allthe best Creameries. Awarded the Intel* little brother," the boy replied, "give it equally impossible. His first impulse t! c agouy a nv* ftrl scald bui a them BationalDiplomaatK Y.DalryFair. AskourdrurKlstormcrchantforltorwTitetoastwhatitis,what subdued, rlicnmntio martyr* i It costs, who u-esi whi re to ai it WFIXS, Rica 1RDSON A. CO Proprietor*. BurUnataSs to him."Arkansaio Traveler. was to hurl himself into the shaft and SPEED, COMFORT AND SAFETY s^Oied, i a i.ilwalile tione ox| .^U^M*QN^^f^S^^C^ Jf BEST^s At CHICAGO it makes close connection be blown to atoms by tho explosion of savea tho healing powci this I notice that Secretary Chandler with all oth8r railroads at that city. IMENT the blast rather than perish miserably It runs PAtACE SLEEPING CARS on brought an American naval vessel safoly all through trains, PARLOR CARS on its at tho hands of the remorseless fiends through a two-day's voyage. I shall S1NING rincipal routes, and NORTH-WESTERN who had him at their mercy. These reflections take my summer vacation this year with" CARS on its COUNCIL BLUFFS li\ i^l* UU^a 1 1/tltlAVJt. tt.fc.iN Ki-.Ji^Uikl occupied only a moment's time, and on its ST. PAUL and MINNEAPOLIS may still, in mos,rase, be patented by Being perfect confidence.''Tnlon, through day express trains. which speedily cures saeli ailments oppositethe S 'ateut Office, and engaged it but the Apaches were almost upon him. ^EL.UJIS&S'CSBB E If you wish the Best Traveling Accommodations the HUMAN FLESH a An Owen county (Ky.) hen sat on fifteen PATENT BUSINKfSLXCLUSIV ELY, can secure Suddenly, with the instinct of despair, you will buy your Tickets Rheumatism, Swellings, Stiff* ^32 patents in less* time than thoe who aie re. eggs and brought out nineteen ^-'Nlr.ETY-EiC YEARS by this route AND WILL TAKE NONE Joints, Contracted Muscles, Burns Mr. Lyons threw himself behind a rock mete fiom Washington and who must depend up. g^ 1?= ""^v i ^ITSS^^j^Qj. %1-IQ ^ERCH AHT onojjrj^'/ Plan chickens, says an exchange. The hen OTHER. RSid Scalds, Cuts, Bruises and on the mailsin all transactions with the Patent close at hand, and at the same instant ''?cr tt? MA?^CFT CA?iONERY For rates for single or round trip Spinins, Poisonous Bites and must be a shrewd one, or else there's a Office. FAMIL the blast at the bottom of the shaft exploded tickets and for full Information regard PJ^IVAVE Stings, Stillness, X.ameness, Old 7 Whenlnventoisfcendmodelor sketeh m.ike ,fT rttm r~* r~i- :S"^f^^ newly-hatched lie out. to all parts of the West, North and Sores, Ulcers, Frostbites, Chilblains, search inthe Pater, i Office and advise as to its pa. with terrific effect, throwing a 5 C-* r. 2 Northwest, write to General Passenger Soie lYlpples, Caked Breast, and testability FREEo. HARGE CoriesponJencecon. A compositor who was puzzling over shower of rock and debris high in the Agent, at Chicago, m. indeed every form external disease. fidential, prices low, and N O CHARGE UNLESS i i.i--"i!n' tVt IIJ^IIC n.id Kt-r 1 It'-.^tcr IIaCC O '-T one of Horace Greeley's manuscripts All Coupon Ticket Agents sell Tickets 1 i. I heals without scars. air, which was followed by a dense volume VTENT IS OBTA1H E.D. A by this Line. sagely and savagely remarked- "If IT*" r\ r. IH^I\L '.K i )ii T.:*.!^r i W refer to Hon. P. stmaster General Key, For tho BBDTE CREATION it cure3 of smoke rolling up from the shaft. J. D. LAYNG, MARVIN HUGHITT, Sprains, Swinny, Stiff* Joints, Aev. F.D Powder, officials in the S Patent Uelshazzar had seen this handwriting 7JA Gen. Sup't. 2d Vice Prce and Gen Manager The Indians, who were now sure of 1 Founder, Harness Sores, Hoof lis' Office,and especially to our clients in eveiy State bil^.vi 1 ^.^a tiW^3wi|ifeU .w'l.* t&,ITL W. H. STENNETT, on the wall, he would have been more eases, Foot Bot, Screw IrVorm, Scab, their victim, halted a moment at the of the Union and in Cvnada. Foi special references, Gen. Pass Agt, Chicago llolloiv Horn, Scratches, fVindlls, PILLS,.j terms,advice, &c, Addiess terrified than he was unexpected and to them mysterious aI Spavin, Thrush, Ringbone, A Snow& Co., eruption, then with a yell, not of triumph, Sores, Poll Evil, Film upon In a lecture the other evening, Bob Opposite Patent of in Wash PURGATIVE LYDBA E. PINKHAM'S the Sight and eveiy other ailment but of rage, mingled with terror, Burdette said- "Speaking of the telephone, liNNEAPQLl$&ST.LGUi3 B'V :le to which the occupants.of the ,asy. wheeled their horses and galloped off in one hundred years ago it would Stable and Steele Yard are liable. VEGETABLE COMPOUND. AND TI1K ft 'ihe Mexican Mustang X.inin^iit the direction whence they came. have been thought an invention of the always cuies and never disappoints, Tho New lm i iv BHIaH "FAMOUS ALBERT LEA RGUTE." IWBnHHi^HDHMi^M deviland I sometimes think it is Mr. Lyons could atfiist scai-cely realize ,eJ!rt)J? s/s'em three months 6^Any person who will take ONE PILI fiOUMll Lis' \i\ and i is, positively, Js a Positive Cure THE BEST l*f" now." that ho escaped almost miraculously t,h for nit UIOBO Painful Complaint* and Wentcneaae these Pill have O equal Physician restored3 11 them soundnhealthpractice.a i thoi Sol every where OVETOTWFAEWELKb may be to if such thing is possible !SftdAn. 8 il "he le*t and be-, lalnt oiiimo toour best female population. ,onw'-iJfAJfelf i fiom a horrible death, but as soon as he om I 9 i I $ 5Pv i?f?Pi Posters for the annual goat show i i ars N TI ifciv ilcure entirely tho worst form of Female Com11 ?5 B. t0 ns"\vlog'./'a tn.nd.ei had recovered from his amazement departed 8 LJv vt on ic ir al i are displayed in a gieat many windows. lints nil ovarian troubles,Inflammation and Cicera 1 OF ALL or sent by mail for 25 ceat3 in stamps. Send for pamphlet. I 8 JOHNSON & CO Boston, Mass. for Tres Alamos, meeting on the itilOf. i i on'i.lnln/ t In tjo lulling and Displacements, and the consequent Some of the goats must bo veiy well LINIMENT! itViUih AOSM'S WIR'ITIi a i!iinl Weakness, and Is particularly adapted to the road a paity of neighbors going out to Ui.-.avCs IbJIltuc'olphSt OhxLjj- trained, for mot of the pictures represent Ci ui of life. search for his lemains, they having seen them sitting on a keg and drinking i i ir.. in I Chemist now It 111 dissolve and expel tumors from the uteru In FREE! the Indians heading in the direction of tr ivt-linj, I I tli, i tr that mot of tha cold tea fiom a tumbler. mil/ stago of development Tho tendency to can llorst tn 1 itlit. 11 i 'd hire aie worlhl the mine, ajid not doubting Mr. Lyons ti i Ii IU i it Mierlt' Coadition fci oiiH iniinoiatliereis checked very speedily by its use "What are you going to do when you 1 wdu in icliti'\ pure and immenseh had fallen a victim of savage ferocity. If i oinovea faintnoss, flatulency, destroys all craving ValuiUi N i. ii utl will in tke hi.ii la 111 shiiidnn i I'U I Dose 1 teaspojonful grow up it you don't know how to ci- RELIABLE SELF-CURE. FOB HAH O BEAST. for stimulants, and relieves weakness of the stomach Tombstone Epitaph. tolpnufooi! hl e\eri where or st.n by mail 1 i Itci ^tiniis 1 lc i PosrON MAS!*. pher?" asked a teacher of a slow boy. It CUILS Bloating, Headaches, Nervou Prostration t neral Dgbulty, Sleeplessness, Depression and Indl "I'm going to be a school teacher and favorite prescription of ono of tha Perhaps Not. LS 1C11. make the boys do the ciphering," was most noted and successful specialists in the U.S (now retired) for the cure oi Nervous Debilitth ihat feeling of bearing down, causing* pnln.woight fily VeKitable and Honer bced Catalosxne for When the cashier of a Michigan bank the reply. Kiomt Manhood, WeatenemsauAltecav. Sen! 1888 mill sent TKHK to all who apply Customers of an bickacho, is always permanently cured by its uso In plain sealed envelope/Vwee Druggists canfilltU skipped some 3 ears ago, and his accounts last statoii need not unte for it All x.e sent from my 11 ill at all times and under all circumstances act In Omaha has a high-school Principal establishment nirranted to be both fresh and true to name, 8IOO PRESENT. weie found to be $7,000 short, Address DR. WARD 4 CO.. Louisiana, Me. so far that should it pro\ others ise I agree to rehll the hai mony with the law* that govern the female system. who makes wiilten contracts with the order trratii My collection of vegetable seed is one of one of the directors expressed his belief Tor tlio cui of Kidney Complaints of either sex tola the most extensive to be found in anv American catalogue, boys to the effect that, after being called For Hftchlne tht will and a large part of it is of my ov. prowinij A the Compound is unsui passed. that the money had gone into silver orlg-innl Introduce of Early Ohio ami Rurbank \vp a certain numbci of times, they shall Saw as Fast and Easy I,YH. JZ. 1'IVKIIA.M' S VEGETABLE COM Potato).*. Mnrblt htix Farlv Corn, the Hubbard stock. This was shown to be untrue, as be whipped and he says the plan works as ibis one. PrtljVOiapipparcd at 233 and 235 Western Avenue K{uuh UurbUhelxl Cnl Iiittft., fhlnno'n Melon, S from all others, was also his suppositions that the cashier end a score of other new Vc^,i.tabU I invite the patron body, while thi n?!la Ljna,5ross. PilcoSl. Six bottles for $6 Sent by mail finely. :!:f T^e of the public In th" i'ircl-*nb ard on the farms of ~=s^ tl had speculated in grain, cotton or In the form iill3 also I the form of lozenges, on thote who 1 mt try Mrcd ill be frund my 1 est advertise g^SE'bc shape Su yJ,t[D gS3ag%S fa psbapt "There is," says the Boston Herald, ment James Gregory, Mart unl Mass recUpt of ,uice, 1 per box for either Mrs Finkham a* i Lc'liacLicupproesBBbBeStbl -.edvtai tselttoiu a tobacco. r'', !nc SEHSISLC 4 1 froUyaunerauUIotteisof inquiry. SP.HI for pamphlet. a good deal of fitness in the selection 11 "Then he must have gambled," said 50 TOi'eo /&J Address as above Mention this Pcpe* nwws ^sgy IntostlnesJastaa aporsoawoulo) of Mr. Evaits as the orator for New the dnector. wtih tho Finger. ith ligh Western Wheel Bcraper Co. York at the opening of the big bridge. pressure the HernWfs held serurelv it i "TM PINKHASTp) This is the King of Saw machines. I Kofan'iy she .id i hi "No, no one had ovoi known of his Jiyspdn'ghl and a ra lical cur crtain. ItUeisv 'iorabli c6u *i i, Inlio LIVE*. F'lo 'iiicv He can suspend a sentence in the air saws off a 2 foot log: In minutes. i4 i.u'-ip Soni by m-ll Circola-s free. touching a card. EOeiESlOS S acts C0 CIltaBO, at aniJ nudit of fiol'vir 20,000 in use. Tho cheapest machine longer than any other man in America. "Probably owned a fast horse or if H. "ts. tsr Sold all made, and fully 'warranted. Circular free. MASUFACTURERS OF On the street I understand that bought subuiban real estate." TheOnlyPractical&DurableWheeledScrapers. United States Manufacturing Co., Chicago, 111, \ou own a great many houses and small That was as far from the case as the FREE! I will mail a copy fairas in the suburbs." "Yes." "Do first supposition, but the director hung of my New BOOK, A on live on any of them?" "No." on. "MEDICAL COMMON SENSE," Cest thing in the World for Grading Railroads, Levees & Public Roads. "Then 3 on don't raise anything?" "Oh, I presume he may have paid off a FliEE, to any person who wHlaaBBaasjajaaBajaWassa yes every spring I raise rents." mortgage for his father, or lent money sent his name and post-office address anaslxcentr ilie above is a correct map of the stamps to pay postage. to relatives." A German went to afnend and said- ALBERT LEA ROUTE, .Jo any one sntfenng with CONSUMPTION. Their Double Bottomed, All Steel ASTHMA. CATARRH, SOR1S THROAT! "No he was an orphan and unmar- "'lo-morrow I owe you $20,000. I am and its immediate connections Through Tiains dailj liKONCHITIS, the information in this Book is Drag Scrapers &. Railroad & Township ried." ruined. I cannot pay it, and I cannot r groa aluean it may in the providence o\f God. From ST. PAUL AND MINNEAPOLIS TO CHICAGO, i .\a many useful lives Address, Plow BEATS ALL OTHERS. "Might have been temporarily insane, shlecp a vink." The cieditor said: "Vy mi. IT. B. WOLVE, 140 Smith St., eulclaoatL a without change, connecting with all lines mm. you know." didn't you vait to dell me to-morrow? EAST and SOUTHEAST "But he had been taking sum for Now neither can I shleep a vink." The only line running Through Cars between asked tho months." MINNEAPOLIS and DES MOINES, Iowa. 3 "What is a lady's sphere "Oh, Avell!" testily cried tho director, Tlnough Tiains between lady Principal of a public school on examination Satisfaction Guaranteed. MINNEAPOLIS ADD ST. LOUIS, as he whirled his chair around, "if you da}\ And a little led-headed (CONQUEROR. opnecting in Union Depot for all Points Soufh it" 1 folks are determined to call it stealing urchin in the corner squealed. "Mice!" (inliwcst Close connections made vit Sr P.J'&A! Send for CATALOGUES to f and S & Dulutli Kailroads, fiom and to all I suppose it's no ust? for me to tell you In the dreadful confusion that followed, -!om*s Nvrf and "North West that Edward's mother says he had a tMlVKVBRKI PULIMAV PATACS SLFMI-C the freckled-faced fiend escaped. WESTERN WHEEL SCRAPER CO., mt Pleasant, Iowa. A SPECIFIC FOR ""A on ail night Trtfn* Tlnough iKkets awl 1 1 habit of walking in his sleep. You CAN I OBTAIN A PATENT i i rhecVed to definition Tor tiblc*, rite of They were boasting about ancestry. wouldn't believe fie could travel from etc, tall upon ncires ket Agent, oi ntUlris* "My forefathers," said John, "came Send a rough sketch orUf you cn) a model of jour S EOYJ), Detroit to Montreal before he woke up EPILEPSY, SPASMS, i n\ eutiou to afcaiO KLLMOS, Wnnliineton, o\er from England on the Mayfipwer." Gen'l 1 Ut. & Tass. Ag't, Minneapolis. of course you wouldn't! All you think 1 t:., and a S 'IUitc:ii\r L.aumiin:ition "And my ancestiy," said Pat, "kim over will nuiue of nil Umttd St.ite patents the CONVULSIONS, FALLING SICKNESS, of is to convict him!"Detroit Free same cl is.sof liuentiousinri jon\ill Deadvistd fiom Quanestown on the Sunflower. It's hether i not a patent be obtained. Press. ST. VITUS DANCE, ALCHOHOLISM, assthctic, I am, begorra"Lowell Citizen. FOR THIS RT:T,IMIVA KY E AMINA- Indian Blood Syrup along the lino of and neit to the old S PAUL. HON N O CUAllGJti I S MADE. OPIUM EATING, SYPHILIDS, &IOUY CITY RAJLKOAD and its various What will a Patent Cost The docks at Liverpool, England, Br inch Lines, now a paitof the Mr. George William Curtis, editor of have long been the admiration or travelers SCROFULA, KINGS EVIL, Cures all diseases of the Stomach, Liver, Jim per''s Monthly, sa}s that "woman and monuments of engineering If ou .are irt\ ist that our inv ention is patentable UGLY BLOOD DISEASES, DYSPEPSIA, will never reach her pioper development send 630 tc Government application fee skill, but very soon it will be to Belgium Bowels, Kidneys, Skin and Blos of 15, in i for the drawings required by the until she ceases to be under the that we must look for the most NERVOUSNESS, SICK HEADACHE, Government Ibis l^payablewlienaiphcationis made andiilloftl expense unless a patent fallowed Millions testify to its efficacy in healing dictation of man. Mr. Curtis seems stupendous engineering works of mod Absolutely Pure. and Wh Ulo theattorm j'sfeo(825 RHEUMATISM, NERVOUS WEAKNESS, to have struck a new variety of females. times. The new Antwerp docks, he linilGovorniAent f(e(JiaO is pajable llius the above named diseases, and pronounce know thit tlusis the shoit and quick Line to ill yonkiiowbefoiehand for nothing,wheihtr jouare which will be completed in 1884, will NERVOUS PROSTRATION. going to get a patent or not and no attorney's fee points in Centeal and Western Missouu to all it to be the surpass all other similar constructions. lscharjreJ unl yondoprot al'atont A attorney points K.insifc, Nebi W*.a Cbloi.ulo Tex.is. Two self-accused humoiists of Ohio BRAIN WORRY, BLOOD SORES, whose fee depends on hi3 success in obtaining a Cilifoinia, Arizona Ne- and Old Mexico, and 1 There is to be a quay frvo miles long have had a fight over the authoiship of Patent will notad\ise that^om m\ention is BEST REMEDY KNOWN TO MAN Mint this is the Ouli/ JCme between -fit tnesota patentable, unless it re a 1 is itentible, so far as and 300 feet wide. The uniform water BILIOUSNESS, COSTIVENESS, the facetious phenomenon and laughjerking atod the South West, nisbe-.t]udgmntcanaid in dottrmininp theqnrs TRADE MAEK. Guaranteed to cure Dyspepsia. way will bo 1,050 feet Avido and twentysix tion, hence at rcn on the ad\ ise *ri% ifle THItO UGH 7 OBEAT CITIES success, "Who evei saw a tree- KIDNEY TROUBLES AND IRREGULARITIES, 1 lie.tizn iP.it- aprelnninat eca ifou i feet deep. It 13 calculated that fifty box?" The bone of contention betw een 'JI*H ind the Ri'jri-timkirtn k,abel.s. '1 i.nJc UTAGENTS WANTED.^ Atlantic liners will be able to lie broadside MarS and nIssues cured uratsi pre. of the populous Ifcifesouii Valley, namel} W$1.50 per bottle/TC these two giant minds, evidently is not pared and fll- 1. Api licitions in re\ i ,or of ite Laboratory 77 W. 3d St, New York City. Druggists sell it on the quay at once. S.oua, Vilff, Council Jtlull, Omvh their funny-bone. jeetol, AbaiKhtuvl.or I'oi foiled Cases made For testimonials and circulars send stomp. SI. tfosej/li, Jttclimon,Latvia Very often valuable inv entionsiues-n i In these tcorf/tand FausasCiti/ The daughter of the Duke and Duchess cKss03 of cases I i undeitaken to seeure The Dr. S. A. Richmond Med. Co., Props:, The "Why" in Vegetable Cbok-ry, The St. P.iul& Sionx CityKailioad, now known our own patent and filled, a skillful handling of of Albany was baptized a few clays St. Tosepla-, avCo. (11) he case lead to success Send a written request is tlio Wuittfn M9ivl*io)t of the Chicigo, S Why should beans never be put ink addressed to the Commissioner of Patents ago with the name of "Alice Mary Victoria Paul, Minneapolis & Omaha Line, is also the Shot Correspondence freely answered by Physicians. that he recogm/eOi one? E LT-MOV of Wasliincrton.D cold Avater to soak, as is recommended? aud Direct L(ne from Central and Westei Augusta Pauline." If Alice eats i Sold by all Druggists. as our attorney iw the case ciMiigtlie nesota, Weblei Iowa, ikota, Nebi aska and the Because all the nutritious portion of the title of the invention and about the date of filing home-made pio she may some time South.West to Ayer's your application A examination and report will bean is extracted by the process. They have a dream neaily as long as her ST. PAUL, MINNEAPOLIS cost nothing. Searchesmade fortitletounonts, c:. gROWH's should be Avashed in warm Avater, then fihroeon in fact any information relating to Patents name. mptlv furnished Copies of Patents mailed at in cold, be tied loosely in a cloth, be put regular GoNcrnment :ates, (25c. each andj the entire North and Noith-West, and to the "Why," asked a governess of her Hair Vigor, mpmberthisoificplnsbepn inncc- fuloptration into boiling water, with a spoonful of Lumber Distiicts Noithein Wisconsin. little charge, "do we pray to God to Binoe 1805 and jru tliereff reap the benefits of Will Run Wore Easily, Jit St. P/counections are nude with *he dripping and a little salt in it, and be Why don't experience, besides leference ran be A he to actual 3 give us our daily biead tirnttem JOivlsion of the Chicago, St. Paul, Minneapolis Cu' Longer Grass. clients im'most everj cot ntj In the XJ 8 kept boiling for four hours. They are & Omar a line, fo i Noithern and Ce'itial we ask for four or five days or a Vamphlct rel ninjj to Patents free upon request Cut More Smoothly, then excellent if scived A\ith giavy, and Wisnonsm, and ,oi Chicago and all points -East GEO, g L! week?" Because wo want it fresh'" pas Less Liable to Obstruction, 1 a nd the running of trains is so a i anged tlia not Avith molted butler. They servo as FPR RESTORING GRAY HAIR TO IT replied the ingenious child. sengers from the Wsute- Division of tin Ms. 61" irtl S MA'.HIVCTON, Require Less Repairs, garnish around roast mutton or beef, tan have from one to one and one hall houis aee Attorney-at-T aivrtnrt Solictor AinerJ I don't want no rubbish, no fine Wore Easily Adjusted. NATURAL VITALITY AND COLOR. teud to mess in S 1 aul if deBiied and are excellent eating served whole cai jnd Toreijcn I .ittnts sentiments, if jo please" said the Whenj/ou&o South i South West besur^to And the Most Durable. or as a puree. To make the latter, Avhen to ovei this Line through the neve't litg- toilic IT is a most agreeable dressing, which widow who was asked what kind of an IN FACT LEADS THE WORLD. the beans aie done throw them instantly and when you north, east i noithwcst, go epitaph she desired for hei late husband's is at once harmless,and effectual, for preset EVERY MOWER WARRANTFD. thtoug-h St anlthe Ui-cat Railroad ttlti into cold water, A-vhen the skins will i the i e.i tt* oi Invest tombstone. "Let it be short SEND TOR I I LUSTRATED CATALOGUE ving the hair. It restoies, with the slip oft. Rub the beans through a colander, Two issengei tinins duly, St. Paul to Chicag and simple, something like this: 'Willjam gloss and fteshness of youth, faded or gray, IhionghLlroy and i''ison, with pulltnin PaUc LLOYD, SAPPI^E &WALTON and mix a lump of butter Avith Johnson, aged 75 years. The good Sleeping Cais or ench train. them. A little stock, or milk, or cream light, and led hair, to a rich brown, or deep PHILADELPHIA, PA. die young.' THROUGH TICKETS is excellent mixed in. black, as may be desired. By its use thin A perfect dress "Say, Mrs Bunson," said a little girl -n'-, 7 Why should plenty of fast boiling hair is thickened, and baldness often ing.clegantlype'- to a lady visitor, "do you belong to a ei this icmteiie on iile i ill pnnupil stitioiw fumed and hrkrm- Avater L.e used in boiling vegetables, potatoes SIBLEY'S Be sine and buy a tin ouj ticket, as they are geneially though not always cured. It checks falling brass band?" "No, my dear." I less. Remo\ excepted Because the greater cheapei. but if you mnot got the tickets dandruff, restores of the hair immediately, and causes a new thought you did." "Why did you, my you desti or the' i mition mted about ates the body of boiling Avater the greater natural color and child?" "Because mamma said you giowth in all cases wheie the glands aie connections, &c .tyom home stnion, write to prevcntsbildnessl the heat. If only a little Avater he undei'.'gned, and your letter will lcceiv? was always blowing your own horn, 60 rents and $1 not decayed while to brashy, weak, or be used, the Avhole affair soon cools, tees at drupgut*. pioinpv mention. W fUASDALE, and I thought you must" belong to the BROWN'S IRON BITTERS are ofAIX FL,\NTK, lor AL.T tKOPS for AL.I, CI.I- otherwise diseased hair, it imparts vitality and the vegetable becomes tough, CLARKE lene il Agent, IHATJH. All are tested on'y the bf st B*n TU3BESNK band."Cincinnati Drummer. a certain, cure for all diseases Ge n. Traflic "ManaL.fi S Paul Minn so much so that no length of time in Grain and I arm ccd Manual Hihtorj ana hy methods I and stiength, and lenders it pliable. A teacher defining a transitive verb requiring a complete tonic especially of culture of Grams Itoot Cropp, Grasses, I odder Cropb, boiling them AVIII lender them otherwise. Planting-, etc only lOetS. Annual CMalojue an I I'nce ml j. as one which expresses an action which Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Inter. VON&HEALY' several thousand\anetiea, FltJ-L. Broccoli sprouts in April, if properly An exqnis'ulj fr- The VIGOR cleanses the scalp, cures and is "passed over" from the doei*, gave HIRAM S6BLEY& CO. CH1CAG0J1I. Rothestcr.N. mitient Fevers, Want of Appetite, irraDt penunu wuh SIBLEY'S SEEDS cooked by boiling them for eight minutes Sicte& f'onroo Sts .Chicago.^, exceptional!} la^tiug I for illustration, "The dog wags his Jioss of Strength, Lack: of Energy, prevents the formation of dandruff and, in boiling Avater, AVIII be tender as properties Vtll.cn I repii 1 to iny address their tail." Whereupon a youngster arose GVO. Enriches the blood, strength. 36 and 15 cents by its cooling, stimulating, and soothing marrow but, if not properly done, hours BAND CATALOCUE. I DIAMOND ens tart muscles, and gives new with the ciiticism "Please, ma'am, PARKER'S for lisj, 110 |.tie ^10 Engravings) propeities, it heals most if not* all of the AVIII not cook them. of in.t-uinenU Suits, Caps, Belts," life to the nerves. Acts like i\ the action don't pass over, itstajs in CINGER TONIC Pompons LpauleU, Cap-Lamps, hum ois and diseases peculiar to the scalp, Why should onions be ahva} cut in charm on the digestive organs, the dog." surds Drum Jiijor't StaHi, and Because A1AR RH 3 round and veiy thin rings Hits, Sundry Bind Outfits, Repairing keeping it rool clean, and jsoft, under removing all dyspeptic symptoms The other morning a little boy who Mtterlits, nbo inclu let Instruction and Ej. the fibre is thus cut acioss, and in so ercLes for Amateur Bands, and a Catalogua' which conditions diseases of the scalp and such as tasting the food, Belching An Invigorating Medicine that Never Intoxicates was eating shad for his breakfast became REMEDY ofCnokeBi"-! Music si it mU kifr%lvi cutting them,whether for frying or for Heat in the Stomach, Heartburn hair aie impossible. 's TBTXO aratAtmtt *n*teatTm.n very much exasperated at the annoyance 1 his delicious combination of Ginger. Buchu FOR PRESKRV1NQ, RESTORING AKD making sauce, they are rendered VQiy f'c. Th only Iron Preparation Mandrake, Stilhngia, and many other of the best the bones caused him, when he Beautifying the Coavplextoa. As a Dressing for Ladies* Hair hat will not hlaclcen the teeth or A Posltivo Cure lo Catarrh ot ull tender when cooked. With turnips and rgetable remedies known, cures all disorders of \B now made for tho fourth year and OB REMOTIXO SUHBUIM, Tin, Fucsxu yelled out: "Mamma, why don't somebody kind**. It la Intttantancoui* fc.fr PIMPLES, SsiLownus, BwtCBts, 40 the bowels, stomach, liver, kidneys and lungs, & is carrots it is just the'same neither of the OPINIONSOF NOTE* LADIES. ji.-x- headache. Sold by all Drugt Uas a record of unqualified success. aad Permaaent in Uennlt. Cur-Sat^'.y The VIGOR is incomparable. It is colorless, make shads without splinters in The Best and Surest Cough Cure Ever Used. LOTTAItU the rerj bestprepustton tot on Catarrto IJcm three should be split or cut in any other &tacre of the diseaseI.a IIas cured cases t.r-. the faMhatIeruMd.InowuMn $1.00 a bottle. If you are suffering from Female Complaints, It was the first made and has been them? My throat feels as though it had contains neither oil nor dye, and will CLARA LOUISE KELLOOGItgWesme that bone3^cauie from the nose way. ry 7 Nervousness, Wakefulness, Rheumatis spepsia, pleasureto addmyname totfcelistofthose been sliding down a cellar door for a E ?r: ROTVN CliEMICAIi CO. brought to perfection while compot not soil white cambric. It imparts an who recommend your 'LiquidPesrl," and age or any disease or infirmity, take Parkers Why should parsley never be boiled ixpress the satisnotlonit bss alorded me month without stopping." Ginger Ionic. I will strengthen brain and bdy Baitir. Id The LIQUID PEARLhu beenreeeiredbj ing andimitating machines have UH I. cdy 13 mild and pleasant, aflording immeJiato agieeable and lasting perfume, and as an Avith sodaonly boiling Avater and salt? the ladiesot alloountrles withithe highest and give new life and vigor. Itcllef and prompt cure in all casesot Catarrh, .marks ofappneiatloii. Only 60 csam a al. Iron Bitters are made W Hno IN CHEJICAI Many years ago a quaint old divine made for only one or two aiticle for the toilet it is economical and Because parsley, having no oil in it, lOO DOLLARS aoTOU, soldh all DruggistsftPerfumers. Influenza, Hay Fever, BrouchltU. 11 ivc cr**cd rcl lines and tride xu^rk ou wrapper CHAMPION*CO,Psora.,Bvn*U),N P-nd for anything injurious found in Ginger Tonic named Dr. Richards preached in Hanover, It will remove Polypus and tffixtually cnr would be spoiled Avith soda and all flavor and some of them are ad unsurpassed in its excellence. ECuvARE O "ViTA? WS. or fo- i failure to help or cure. Watery and Puralent Discharges from the Head N. H. At a conference of ministers would be extracted. All parsley W and $1 ze at dealers In drug*, large living bjivinj this year for the first time. and Throat, and Foetid, Sickening Breath perfectly PAYNE'S 10 Horse Spark-Arresting once held in that town, each clergyman Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., I fl 7c nd fu Uruilfli to Hiscox & Co 163 Vi St lestore impaired Smell, Taste and Hearing should be picked tree from the stem, be KiDNEY-WORT It nses small inexpensive relieve Headache, Break up Colds in the Head Portable Engine lias cut 10 00 0 ft of A lchigin was called upon to give some of put into plenty of boiling Avater Avith Strengthen the Voice and Ey Punfy, ltegnUto Pine Board in 1 0 hours, burning slabs from tko never fails to bind every bun.. Practical and Analytical Chemists, THE his more remarkable experiences. salt and in summer be boiled only one and Render Clear and .Active every Organ of tha aw in eight foot lengths. GREAT CURE i Lowell, Mass. is the LIGHTEST DRAUGHT, Head and Throat Price, CO cents. When Dr. Richards' turn came he held minute, and in Avinter two minutes, and Tor Soldiers TUwrows Pirents aud Children Any tliseisc that ho had no expeiicnces to give. MOST DURABLE AND BEST DIAMOND BOLD 15Y ALT. DnUGGISTS EVERYWHERE. be strained and chopped on the back of roa wound or injury entitles Mil "But," said one, "you must ha-vo had a 'lions appropriated and workins FINISHED MACHINE in tho a plate. If only a little Avater is used RHEUMATISM force doubled Prompt work and homes made happy Tee INVIG-ORATOR. difficult congregation to preach to, composed in boiling it, the Avater becomes brown, market. Jio Apply now VVi O W S, re married, now entitled during THE MILLER BROS.CUTLERYCO. as it is of the villagers, the Faculty widowhood GreatguciPssinlNCM'EASEcases BOUNTY Dr. Evory Diamond Invigorator is and the parsley tough and ill flavored. ,ve tn and Back Pay and Discharges procured Deserters entitled Any one who buys the As it is for all the palatal diseases of tixe a Perfect Blood Purifier, Appetizer and I DEERING CUTC'9 of Dai*tmouth College and the students." all dues under neyr laws f*k J- MERIDEN, CONX. Why should vinegar for pickling with Nerve Tonic. It makes a defignUDi. win le KIONEY8.LIVER AND BOWELS. avoids every chance of trouble tor, Land Warrants JT 1 a V I O*ocured "Well," said the Doctor, "the BINDER some drink, which Invigorates, Parities never be boiled? Because boiling takes It cleanses the system of the acrid poison bought mJftd Hie"WORLD St SOLDIER,"(weeUy or failure in the harvest. Our 1 0 Horse We Guarantee to furnish, power tact is, the villagers don't know enough that causes the dreadful suffering which and Strengthens the entire sjstem. piper) Sample copy free. Send stamp for full instructions, all the strength from it. Whatever vegetables to saw 8,000 feet of Hemlock boards 1 0 hours. blanks & bounty table N W FITZCZRALD & CO.. only the victims of Bhenmatism oaa realise. Tor General Debility, Dyspepsia, Bdlousnes*. to make me afraid of them as for the Att'ys Washington, C ^ii^ion Patent & t^r"' are to be pickled should first be THOU8AND8 OF CASKS Our 1 5 Horse will cut 10,000 feet in same time. Torp Liver, IndigesUon, Xeura gio and Rheumatic MANUFACTURED Faculty, 1 know more than all of them of the worst forms of this terrible disease Our Engines are GUAKANTEED Affections, Jaundice, Malaria, Flatulency, made soft with boiling water strong ^NDARD POCKET CUTLERY, have been quickly relieved, and in short time to furnish a horse .power lusea, Sick Headache and 'Kidney Complaints, and in regard to the students, I don't William Heeding, with salt and then be Avell drained and PERFECTLY CURED. less fuel and water than it is invaluable. Price, 60 cents. care a copper for any of them." any other Engine not fitted the vinegar poured over. PRICE, $1. LIQUID OB DBT, SOLD BY DRVGGISTS. 0EHI ladies' Scissors and Ink Eraser!. Ask yo ur Druggist for these Remedies CHICAGO. U- Dry can be sent bymaiL with a Automatic Cut-Off. and take no other: or will be sent Why should tAvo ounces of salt and a When a man goes to a circus he usually WELIi3,BICHAKDSON'&Co..Burlineton'rt, KIDNEY-WORT I you want a Stationary or Make all stylei of 3TSEL PENS.' Free on receipt of price. bit of AVashing soda always be put in tho Portable Engine, Boiler, Circular goes to enjoy himself. I went to Manufacturer n'.so of %&&: Saw Mill, Shafting or ^J)escriptive Pamphlets Free. Tk j,saag Light Reaper, Tfo I'^ig ard Yxmm Avater to boil greens in? Because the Barnum's circus the other night and I Pullies, either castorMeddart'a Addrae' Dr. Evjry' Diamond Remedies Co. salt crisps the. greens and flavors them, enjoyed myself. I, of course, had a Patent Wrought Iron Pulley, Miiwars, and Tha Le&der Ke^e & P. O. Bex 8360. 101 John Street. Nevr York. ofwTcutvfratentAdjnstableQuniAcHonKeservoirPEii, OME TREATMENT: send for our illustrated Catalogne, and the soda extracts the oil, which is seat in a box with some friends, and in 8*,^ i s,\eis "and-giUmilaroplegTQKonreceiptof|8- for information aud prices. greatly injurious to the digestion.Qermantown a lull of conversation I noticed a couple JO W PAYNE & SONS, Corning. N Box 846 YFUL News for Boys and Cuts II Telegraph. of dudes in the next box, each of whom A certain care for Nervotte Young and Old A 1EW IN. -~~m' yJ i wished to bet on the woman who drove ..i bemaOedrBEx to aU applicants, tuu 7VENTIOJI jast patented i* tuera, Debility, Seminal Weak- 'i V= t'no of Pent will be sold by the trade. tu 3*I"TI BEST IS CHEAPEST." toineraof lastyearwithontoraeriDgit It contains I tor Home use against the i isUi to dealers on application. _. nessa Impotence, etc. tmiin in the Roman chariot rtont mrpsgee, JM illnBteatiorjg, prices, aoenrate KGINE8, THRFQHPRQSAWIILL8, I Fret and Scroll Sawing, Tnrnmfs The Recipesused in my practice lor 25 Tears descriptions and yarnable directions for plantrnar When a drummer gets "the mumps it race. Finally the discussion as to who Mf ^ja^Oea of Tegetable and JjTtower Seeda, I Bormg, DnBingjCrindmi,I 3ltah.nf- ond an illustrated book of60pages giving Midi Cheapest Biblesf^t^f^^^ SUoastoraelf-treatineptaentfree. increases tho size or his face without should bet upon the woman was settled, H2&9P3e2&2: gen* lor it! IScrewCuttirg. Prf5tot3flL Address (WMkHMotions.) WriteforFcmaa.PaBnBjata| feJ^i0 Seed coats icrl Oj^ce. adding anything to his inherent cheek. .T.WUUAjj8,4S60aW mSBm^OtM,mm&7afiw Co., utu^SkQiB, and dude No. 1 bet $1.13 on the lady tare*. Bath Vtnleat Raw Testamtrat MJM iBfpn PBRAIM DBQWy lwdl, AI* D. M. FERRY & CO. DETROIT MiOH. -iatai TT