N EW UkM ^EDl^E^DAY, A.PFIIL. 11, J883 HnBFTH^'PiELGMMDS -as^wisw^^s^i American Fables. WIT AND HUMOR CheapestBiblesBtrrafatafti ni*u^Mi^ntnw A Bare Opening. One day two Foves who were journeying &** The other day, a man who had probably tan*. a&TtrslsMa^TsrfasMaianpMlMifaJMi together came across a Track in the seen better days, entered the office As red as the rose was my lore last nightYea, THE BEST dust whieh much astonished them. of a capitalist on New Street, and desired red a* arose was she ^JcijrH *chs.i*i *i*}\4Ual# "I believe it is the Track of a Rhinoc- Itut to-cfay my kne'aae pnle and white a private interview with the proprietor. TTieLeading t*rnt#' Furnishing Hous For thee MERCHANTffl^5^E!^|SEEDSi_INERACTMARKE AH the blooms or the apple tree eros," observed one. of the Tforthwent. When they were closeted together, SEEDS|r-or "th OF ALL Poor thin*! she l paling ror me, 1 think 4' "I think it is that of an Klcphant," LINIMENT&* SEEDSr he stated that he was the author Hut the wicked neighbor* say '1S5 BUS*THIKU S ST. PAUL. S Her mother stole In. a olio my love was asleep, replied the other. rviwmgM? of a drama, entitled: "Three Days in a (old stand) Bmtftu Primer*. Grown by ourselvesac And stole her pink saucer away. "I saj Rhinoceros!" C^pl Swamp,\* and he was about organizing Men's Furnishers and Shirt makers r^-* The new French rifle will carrj over '^rr-nanasomo innstrated Catalosrde and Krml Refftater FREE TO ALL. "And I say Elephant!" ill a company to take the road and ploy two miles, and the bullet will travel "Then I travel no longer with sucK !SRCASTS SEXD S YOUR BUSINESS CARDS FOR TRADE UST. the country towns in the spring. He nearly as fat ao a scandal. iMg3L5iJBfJETH&SON5tSEDflROWERStPHllA0ELPHiA an Idiot!" wanted someone to advance him 2,'5O0 FOB BBBDT. "Pa," said a little fellow to his un "Then von can travel alone with a and take a half-interest in the profits, Hrl shaven father, ")om chin looks like the Fool!"^:, which would be at least $8,000. GERMA N SkMEUf For more than a third of a century tho wheel Sn the musical box." THE GREAT Ther were cuffing each oilier about in Mexican Rfnataiig JLininient hasbecu "Excuse me, but I do not care to go huown to millions nil over the worias inffiUT BUTTER COLOR AN REI a lively manner, when along came a "With this bonnet the mouth is worn into such a speculation," -observed the the only wto reliance for tho relief of slightly open," is the wording of a si#n Wolf and asked the cause of the trouble accidents ami pain. It i* a metlicnio capitalist. ttliove pi ice nnd pmisethe ]es of Its in the wiudon of a Paris modiste "Whv that Bigot sticks to it that this "You can act as treasurer, and handle kind. MEXICANp,iUi 1 jr t^ ery form of extcinul est Butter Buyersrecommend Its uas, is not the track of a Rhinoceros'" all the funds." Mrs. Lfllie I)evereau\ Blake asks, "Is_ ttfilres Battertliesrlltedgea' color tha year roand. The la-scst BuCreameries IN,Vfc.M10.N& 1 IKHUl BKLA Kl'Jfccr*-! best Awarded the Inter. Rheumatism,C URES,. Neuralgia, Sciatica, shouted one. thousands of Dairyi^s y WJ? PMIFECT. Used bj allthobest lstor'ncrc'iantrorit orwrttctoasfeyrhat Itls,what may still, In most) ats be patented bj us. Beitu "Yes, but I can't leave here." it a crime to be a woman*'" It certain- aationalDlplomaat.S Dairy Fair.. Al^w/rgKiiYaRiiso*" Ml. PmHcto: oppoaiUthe S itent Othce, nnd engHged li ttco8ts.Wouses i wheret get it WEIJ.S, RICHAROSO *t_ cg^grg^iet "And he, the Narrow-minded Muldoon, Lumbago. Backache. Headline Toothache, "Yon can send your son or a Mend." 1\ is when theie is a great necessity for lliitK.c PATENT BlTSlNrfs wc cfn se timetb-iu those mh oar re Store Tlti*eat.*iwe won't admit that it is the Track lec cure pitetttin "No I cannot go into it." ^al lressin in a hurrj RuritM KrwIeK. rel Biiea. mctc Horn nhir. t and who mt ttlepei A np of an Elephant," added the other. "I'll advertise your name on. the AMI AIL OT.lKll IttHKIl PtOS AMI A*HK When onng Podgkms was embraced on the miiMn all insnctions with the Pnt*ni Vnstang Liniment is without pn cnMul "Gentlemen," said the Wolf as he examined Jtdtoj Druggist* nl l*en INK rrwhere Kla "iu bttB Oflice it lieisetratea flesh and. mnsclo to| by Miss' Arlington, he said that he Dlr-cli niull I in,ini."i the spot, 1th is is simplv the tlie eiy lioae-making the continn WnenInvbfitor*.' modeler sketch we tke hadn't thought he should e^erbo locked THE Cll VKI A. Ot,r hfc CO nnco of pom nnd mflan,mntion imi)osiblo Mr YecetaMe aad flower StedCatolosra* tW glace where a fat man struck a Banana search in the Patei iflice and \X\ he sstoil pa "I'll sav two-thirds of the profits Its effectsupon Hr man Flesh a 11 thCMiur* io A oohl Kit iv BiUetitr .Mtl., 9 A 1 S3 Wiff be sent FRKK to all who apply Customeis of a padded "hell N* teutsib litj FREFOIM HAROE Coi re&pondeiiceeon **h eel and sat down to Reflect. Ymi^are last season need not write tot it All seed sent my tho Brnto re at ion arc equally woinit i "No." Udeitii:l,price OBTAr lo and 3*0 CHAKGL KM.ES- establishment warranted tobe both fresh and true tonaote, D*TKNT 15 tD A Chicago new paper man has been vHie author walked up and down a fnl Tho albican both wrong and both Fools *|_!!!!l^.Sf so far that should it prove otherwise,e 1 agree to reau fte MUSTANG eanght forging railroad pa-*es This is Wo rpfei to Hon. ftmastcrGenernlD Key order gratis My H^tonX* .MOltAL. moment, while contending vv ith a great i the most ev. I- Powder, I oftlcntein theU. S P. te^it an unusual ease though. Generally, Men are ever willing to tight in detense [and a mental struggle, and then he made a Offiie, nnd especially taoci clientsncciu) sin e\cfy Stntc the Unio sml iu .nad Fo refere Chicago newspapet men are too sharp of what the} don't know. Qr row^"MaATrtea^SSiyCijS^Mi*Sja^ last appeal, sav ing. FARMEIC.1"^ to be caught.Boston Poti. ces.terms.a'hice,* Addp M^^ THE HEN AX1 THE "Of course, the paitof theheiowas BNSK arTda^ore of other new VeeetaBies. I mte the patron C. A "Snow & Co.. IrtSffi^tg Lininfent is needed by somebody A Hen having laid an Egg set uplmeh ag^h^^-vet of the public In he gard-ms nd on the Bran of -*rJ 3 "Room at the Top" Three dollars a reserved for myself, but if you'll go in vJppooite PJ*. ntofti$,o. \V axh every house. Evoi-y day brings news 1 'tsaS^S^ to P^aat m,seed WH1 be foondjytetaderttae Cackle t'tat presently the whole Barnwas kl3ff^ ^^S-caBjoent. James H. CregCry, Marblebead. Mass. week, one towel a da\, no weather the agoay or an n^vfnl scaia or barn with me you can pla) Sligo* the Swamp subdued, of rfacuinatio mar|yra i son-vard in confusion and the Farmer strips, steaLyour soap Oh, ACS, PEOPLE WHO LIVE Cat, and I'll be satisfied with second Htoied, or a valuable uorae or ov| Chicago&North-Western came running out to see what was going n\, we know all about that "Room at SLAY sa\el by tho healing powci of this old man it's hard to corner me this Bje the line ot and near to the oldsr PAUI. a LINIMENT. on. the Top."Pick \n tnglisr lettr nirj surscon ana Chsialst now SIOUX CITY RAILROAD and its Tanou^^i way, but I'll ha"\eto bend to eitcumstances Bailw iv is the traveling in this co tetrr says thai most of t) "What is it?" he demanded as the Branch Lines, now a paitof the There is nothing new tinder the sun. Horse and Cattn. ow ^r^^t Id here are worth "Wall blrect Daily News. OLD ESTABLISHED SHORT LINE Hen cackled louder than ever tes tra-h 1*6 ivi tht Sheridan's Condition Solomon anticipated the modern lamb l'tiwder- ire ab dutctj pure and immensely And the rBas\i "Why, I've laid an Egg!" &&'. likeShtndau j-C'-ir'u m'(vn lost, 1 teaspooufm in Wall street when he described the which speedily cares sobb. ailments ci I ItJii ike hens laj Itls the Great Thorougnfai irom and to gone upforthe third act when Smith, "An Egg? Why, a single egg isn't itttr st imp* 1 A Bosros MASS, \alunblt i PARSONS'8 irtt\rni r- or sent by mail for the HUMAN FLESH as I fool going to the correction of the CHBCACO JC 1 pint fool who had been out "to see a man," noticed worth but two cents at the present Bhcaniatiim, Sivelllnfrs, Stiflr stocks.Life. know that thisis the shot and quick Line to 'ill Joints, Contimctca HInaeIs, Burusj Brown seated a few rows in front market price." points in Centeai and Western Missouri to all and Scald a, Cnts, Bruises andf Several of our exchanges arc devotiug of him. ^Do you see that fellow over "Yes, I know, but if I didn't do two And all point3 in Northorn minum, Central, Sprains, Polsouons Bites and I pointi tn ICinsrfs, Ncbitk Colorido Tex is, considerable space to the importance Eastern and Northwestern Iowa, there he said to his wife. She nodded shillings' worth of cackling over eveiy Stings, Stlflnesa, Iiameneas, Old) California, Aiizona New ami Old Mexico, and Wisconsin, Northern Michigan, Minnesota, of "cookiug girls." It's no use. Sores, Ulcers, Frostbites, Chilblains. I that this is the 0lj/ Lint betwef* Mltntsola assent. "Well," he continued, "I hate two cents' worth of egg, the world Iinhnin, Minitoba, Central and mtcd the Somth Wert, Sore Klpples, Caked Breast, and| Wc donH want them cooked. The raw that fellow like a cat hates hot sou}), would soon forget me." Northern Atbratska, Colorado, Wyoming, Indeed every form of external disease. 211HOVGU 7 GREAT CITIES 0 damsel is good enough for us Hartford Utah, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, I heals without scars. and if I ever get a chance I'll 'paralyze' MORAL' .jsomnLL ZJ of the popTumsnssTiuitwney, narnel California, Qreijon, Washington Territory, Timet. And will completely chsnse the Wood in the satire system in tares mnatiis. Aaypsrsoa who SlU For tbe BBDTE CBEATIQX it cores him." Then his wife asked "Are )o Send a bundle of old clothes to an Hrtilth. Columbia, China. Japan, EACH NIOIJT FROM ONE TO TWELVE WEBKS.miheistor^tosonBfhraltt.K i\ Sprains, Svrlnnr. StifT Joints, i '0n Viotsz. City, Cita icil Jt/ J**tph .lehinH tavern going out to see another man at the the Sandwich Islands, Auntralia, New In Boston thev are so cultured that orphan asvlum and then interview a Founder, Harness Sores, Hoof IMseases, _w-. ._ PILLS...isposs!Wslas^idwesywhereBiass.goston,.CCX PARSONSpamphlet it* d^ nMo For cnriVg^mal"complaiats these Pilts have iqa'sl f^^^i*^^J^^iiSVV^^i. act3" Smith hiccoughingly- Zealand, and all principal points the Foot Bot, Screw Worm .Scab,. when a theatre is full down stairs and close of this f4%^# ,curtjt\a FnutiiCtlff or sent by mail for 15 cents in stamps. Send for 1.8. JOHjTsOW reporter. Hollow Horn, Scratches, Wind-1 Th St Pint fcSiotix C'tyHiilrosd,now knowii NORTH, NORTHWEST and WEST. the only vacant space is in the gallery, allowed that he was "Well, I tell you THE MAN WITH THE ACCORDION. frails. Spavin, Thrush, Blngbone ,l us the Wetter* MtieMmm of the Chicago, St With its own lines it traverses North the managers hang out a placard, on Old Sores, Poll Evil, Film upon I what to do deal, when you come back A Peasant having saved up a sum of Paul Mmue ipohs Om.m^ Line, is al the "/i ern ILLINOIS, Central and Northern i,l*e from Ce itial ifl'l Wstei Miti the Slant and every other ailment I fimover nnd MUteet which is printed. Apotheosis*onlj," by iqw\, WISCONSIN, Northern MICHI- to Mi Biown and breathe on money by hard wotk and peeling his to whieh the occupants of thcl nexota Wesvfn-i. law i, O tiioU Nebraska and tl GAN, MINNESOTA, and Central HMjtt- which is meant that visitois can still be that will'paia.lvre him."Rochr Potatoes close, went to the nearest Village Stable and Stock Yard sure liable. I SoutluW^Ht to A. it offers to the traveler all accommodations placed among the gods. The Mexican Mustang Ztnln*snt ST. PAUL, MINNEAPOLIS and invested in an Accordion On ester Pott-Eipren that can be offered by any always cores and never disappoints railroad. Its train service equals that his way home he began plav ing the air and ft Is, positively, There is good fellowship among the and the entue North and North-Wet, and to the of any road their speed Is as great as of "My Grandfather's Clock," but THE BEST Lumbci Districts oi Northern WISCOUHUI. newspapers of Oil City. The Morning comfort and safety will permit they The Scotch Duke of Athole is probably HA.K:EJ NETT^RIC BLOOD, Jtl hi !*/connection* are made with *li make close connections in union depots scarcely had the echoes reached the Derrick,, being washed out by the flood, the most extensive tiee planter the JBmtern ItivUivu of the Chicago, St Paul, Minnenpolis at junction and terminal points with Forest when out came a Chopper, who the Evening Bhzza/d ottered its facilities kOmnVn line, foi Noithern and C tral the leading railroads of the Wept and world During his life the Duke has A OF ALL r* And will completely change the blood In the entire system in three months. Any per- cried out- v* isnousin, and or Chicago aiiH all dnts tia"t Northwest, and offer to those that use to its contemporary, While the planted 27,000,000 sprouts, covering and the running of tl ains i-s so in anged that t them son who will take 1 Pil| each night from 1 to IS weeks, may be restored to sound LINIMENTS! "Man! Man! for Heaven's sake hang Latest Gusher and the Bull Bear Bugle 15,000aens of his piivate estate.^ seugeis tiom the Wss^eM) Division of tin lilb SPEED, COMFORT AND SAFETY health, if each a thing be possible, For caring Female Complaints these Fins have no up on that! You will kill us with your ottered to back 100,000 barrels "long" 4ii have tiomoiieto one and one half houis tee At CHICAGO it makes close connection MZ. LYOI. E. riHKHHI, OF LYNN, Mil, equal. Physicians user them in their practice. Sold everywhere, or sent by mail for 'end to buinetsiuSt Paul if desired Racket!" with all other railroads at that city for the benefit of the unfortunate. PHTHERIAJmanySIher*lieS\betterteethay eight letter-stamps. Send for circular. I JOHNSON Sc CO., BOSTON, MASS. Whem yomf* So ith or South \V"stbesur It runs PALACIS SMOKPING CARS on "Can't help that," replied the Peasant CROUP, ASTHMA, BRONCHITIS. to over this Line through the itven Bigr Uitie all through trains, PARL OR \Kr on its "I think," said a fond parent, "that as he pulled away harder than ever and when you go north, eat or northwest, go principal routes, and NORTH-WESTERN OHNSON'ANODYN E LINIAUSNT will Instantaneously little Jimmy is going to be a poet when TONTKO CARS on its COUNCIL BLUFFS through St mm I the Ureat Kmttromd tt TOB MAN OS BEAST. thes terrible dHea^s, and will positively "If what tickles me all over is Death to he grows up. He doesn't eat, and he and on its ST. PAUL and MINNEAPOLIS the greatNorth west cure nine cases ou of ten tut irmation that will save you that is not my lookout. I wiU now through day express trains. sent fre mail. Ion delay a moment Two pnsenger ti tins daily, St. Paul to Cliicag its all day by the lire and thinks, and Prevention is cure give you -The Empty Cradle.' with variations." If you wish the Best Traveling Accommodations through tlroy and Madison, with rallra in Palac thinks." "You had better grease him JOHNSON'S ANODYNE LINIMENT ^J?^^* you will buv your Tickets Sleeping Cars oi ench ..rain all over," said Aunt Jerusha. "He's by this route AND WILL TAKE NONE THROUGH TICKETS Nt'iuaiRin, Influenza, Sore Lungs, Bleeding at theiuugs, hronic Hoarseness, Hacking out.h, Whooping Oough, MORA L: & going to have the measles. That's what For rates for single or round trip er this route are on swlent all piiacipal stations C1 to lie Kheumntism, Chronic Diarrhoea, Chronic iivsentcrj i. hoicri Morbqs, Kidney Troubles, Diseases Of the If our neighbor doesn want oar ails Jimmy." tickets and for full Information in regard PARKER'S Spine and Lame Back. Sold everywhere Send for pamphlet to I S JOHNSON & Co., BOSTON, Mass. Be an rs and buy a through ticket as Ihey are generally MAKE HENS LAY smoke let him move away. to all parts of the West North and cheapei. but if yon cannot get the tickets punster'8 CLARKy Co.<p>JOHNSON'S A seven-j) ear-older, with the in English Vcterinarv Surjreon and Chemist HAIR Northwest, write to General Passenger you dosjreor the ifcrmition wanted abont rates now trav jttiR In this country an that most 1 Agent, at Chicago, 111 mark on his brow, at dinner asked hi BALSAM. connections, Ac at your home st'.tion, write to ot the Hirse an 1 tattle Powders sold here I All Coupon Ticket Agents sell Tickets the undersigned, and your lettei will receive mother what was in a tar on the table. are worthless trash He savs that Sheridan I A Very Beckleu Woman. by this Line Condition Prwders are absolujeb pure and prompi, attention.", W TEASDALE, A perfect dress "Pickles, my son," was the reply. "I want to know if there is any law in J. D. LAYNG, MARVIN HUGHITT, Imwengeh valuable Nothing on earth will make hens la like Sheridan's Condition Powders Dose, 1 teasp CLARKE General Agent, Ing, elegantly per- "Then, mamma, please pickle little one ful to 1 oiut tuod bol ,,d everywhere, or sent by mail for S latter-stamps. S JOHKSOS & BOSTON, Mass. Geit.Hiipt. 21\ict I'us and Gen Manager this country for poor folks?" began a Gen. Traffic MinagtiKl?* St JPaul Minn niined and harm, W. H. STENNETT, out for me," came with stunning force less Remo\ es woman, as she stopped a policeman on CMcegoM Gca Pas* Afjt, dandruff restores from the child, and the mother fell over luIBSllJ. CDTE Michigan avenue jesterdaj. aartinl color and chair and fainted. "There ought to le 1 suppose," he prevents bildness !.ft MEAP0LIS&ST.LGUiS Sn CO nils 1 $1 replied in a doubting waj "What is "Minister," said an old woman in the 7 WHOLESALE ttess at di i pgui*. Druggists, joupcase?" Tvmsm North of Scotland, "I'm going away Indian Blood S^rup "FAMOUS ALBERT LEA ROUTE." "Well, the other night I was go.ng fast, and I'll soon be in Judas' bosom COIOGHE. home, and in tiont of a vacant lot ou lied "Hoots, toots, Janet, "said the minister, I 1 eai/6~\ bv a rich man, I fell down and almost "je mean Abtaham's bosom." "Ah, An e WteJj (n- Cures all diseases of the Stomach, Liver, killed mv wit I want to make him grant pei imr wit) minister, if ye had been as long a single eiceplIonaUj Iatui( pa damages, but all mv neighbors sav Bowels, Kidneys, Skin and Blood. woman as I've been, wouldn't be prop-^rtle, MINN ST. PAUL, LYDIA E. PINKHAM'S Ste ana S cents. that I can't do it Isu then a stimgent particular whos' bosom'it was JULIUSID.-LEVI PARKER'S Millions testify to its .efficacy in healing sidewalksJ law about itc on the Serjeant Ballantinc on one occasion VEGETABLE COMPOUND.' "Yes'ni. In case vou aie a poor man the above named diseases, and pro* jGINCER TONSC had a lady client named Tickle Mr. you must clean it off. In case jou .no Ballantinc said to the Judge, "Tickle, IB a Positive Cnre nounce it to be the lich vou can wait for a thaw my client, mv lord"Here he was interrupted suit0" Tor all tNiwePataftil Complaints A WfeneM An 'nvigorating Medicine that Never Intoxicates "But would von begin BEST REMEDY KNOWN TO MAN. ocomoMm tooHrfccMfemale population. 8u(iC83Sjr ti h\\ C. Zieske. bj the Judge, saving, "Tickle iTiis delicious combimlion "f in^cr 1'uclui "I'll leave that to jou In the first It TTUI cure entirely the worst form of Female Co her yourself, my learned brother." B.tllantine, TRADE MARE. f| ndrI Milhngn ami in oiht-r cf tl best Guaranteed to cure Dyspepsia. plaints all ovarian troubles, Inflammation and UKeia place the defendmt will claim that vou \fg tab rcmrdu-s known emes 1 disorders of I who is a great wit, looked glum M.ti ufrictm ei ard al 1 ID tion, Falllnjr and Displacements, and tbe consequent 4 thebovils sloin ich, lucr, kidrc\s ntdiun^s, &i& weic (hunk when vou tell ITAGENTS WANTED. tor a whole da\. Spinal Weakness, and Is particularly adapted to the \hs Best snd Surest Cough Cure Ever Used. HARNESSES, Mv stats' but I never touch adiop'" Change of IJfe. Laboratory 7^ W. 3d St, New York City. Druggists sell it Miss Miller, or Ferris, Texas, chloroformed No matter, then he will claim that If fit tie Mifiu-ing fiom Femn'e Comphmts, SADDLEb,^*,P^ 4 It will dissolve and expel tumors from tbe uterus In COLLARS Ner\ usness tl eftilncs"! T\l}etiin*itistri DvspepMa her father's dogs and eloped 1 an eaily stage of development Tlie tendency to can L- ne hires a man bv the jenr to keep the iq fi i iy disease or mfirrmu, nk P-rker with the young man whom her father ctrotiH humors there Ischecked very speedily by Its use glBLEY'SgEEDS 11 ni It will strengthen brain and body walk cleat." Mh% BRIDLES, had forbidden the premises. The probabilities It lemovesfalntneis, flatulency, destroys ail craving ai ue MI lew life and vior "Yes, but it wasn't cleir BLANKET^, lOO DOIiLARG for stimulants, and relieves weakness of the etomncli arc that about a \ca^hence she r-udfor m\i njjinjurious found in it grr lonu. 'Of course not, but he II prove that It cures Bloating, Uendnchea, Nervous Prostration ROBES & ,.*-t- wf11 conclude that her life would ha\e or fit i failur* to help or cuic the man died suddenly and he didu Oencrnl nabUlty, Sleeplessness, Depression and Inrll i tl 1 $1 i ?f#jstij alern fm!ng- nr. *ii ms bt Mil4IS been le^s miserable if she had ehlorotormed J.VH1PS. gettlon. know it Have vou a weak ankh dll run llmoxM li\m! n, for the \onng man nnd eloped with ATX CROPN. for AIX CLJ-, That feeling of bearing down, causing pain, weight *zL~ TRUNKS. "Mere), no' All are Oirl&rr.EALYf tested til tbe bestsndbest sent oumethods.t her father's*dogs. and Imekaclic, la always permanently cured by Its us nrnia'and rariii HccaManual HiBtory m^^ VALISES, M^*"?* "Well," he 11 prove that vou have, oi It will at all times and under all circumstances act In of culture of Grains. Itoot Crops, (Irasses, Fodder Crops, Trtu "What d'je leave that door wide open PlantSnff, etc only lOcta. Annual Catalogue and Price Lltt of P00I SEEDS. \on wouldn have talkn Vnd then, iarmon with the law* that govern the female system for0" exclaimed the gentleman in the several thousand varieties, FUEL. Statt & flcinroe Sts Clucago.^S^v^ i or the cure of Kidney Complaints of either sex this lot0 does he own the HIRA"::N^raTTirniiTTM^ SIBLEY & CO. CHICAGO,111 Rochester.N.Y. SIBLEY'S SEEDS Wil ttirtja 11 inv lulrtrws their, Repairing Don Promptly & Cheap. Compound Is unsurpassed. oflice to the intruding peddler. "OJ "Whv, I suppose so :aeii?c!?CT 3ANP CATALOQUE, i LYB1A E FIXKIIAM'S TEOETABI.E COMPOUND*Is fur |i J, i" ti vt *10 bngmi K*] "Youi supposing o i) he all rong prepared at S33 and S35 Western Avenue. telU,1 if nutruiiiejiL "siiiU Carw, thought, SUIT," was the quick reply, Begin a sun and vou mav find that his Lyon, Mass. Price $1. Six bottlesforts Sent by mail M.ii'rrSTT"SFoeW EVe.Minfi'. $8 SV" nmn llijorV Statri. and "that moight want to kick me do.vn r* wife has a deed. Sue"the wife, and In the form of pills, also In the form of loscnges, on H! t tlr\ Hi A Ottthts, R*pniHng If yon wish to stain*, and Oi wanted to make it convenient Miterhlt.il otncjulet 'nitractlonud E GARDENING receipt of price, $1 per box for either. Mrs. Pinkhaat oifl hud she has gone to Florida to etablea for grow er,-(.i.t A rtitmr I iuds, ami CMaloct 1 for yj surr." The gentleman freely answers all letters of Inqury. Send for pampk* FOR PROFIT. DIAMOND s^*^ Sale, read spend the wintei, letv ing the care of the let. Address as abovo. Mention tk(* ftaosr as so taken aback that he bought two If you wish to be- PRACTICAL lot to a man vvno was. called to Chicago W"U come a Commercial apples for 5 cents, passing off a had Mo family should be -i.no'iU."THA R. PIKKBAKt CATARRH-" to see his brother die just at the time FLORICULTURE 'Florist, read Die above Is a correct man of the ]iar(e in the transaction. LIVER PIIXS Ihey Cu contpation billo ROUTE,fe he should have been salting that side- If you wish to Gar-, PLEASURE^ ?i ALBERT LEA r-* torpidity of the 11vet 25 cent *i.rbo REMEDY, denforAmusement FO OARDENINQ Arthur Crayon* Miss Rosebud, I walk." fr 8oll by all Drug&itiia. *V end Its immediate connections Through Trains ('ml Mi 0rfonly?SadL8 iaf* have brought ou a little picture whieh "Then I have no reined\ f-m ST. PAUL AND MINNEAPOLIS TC CHICAGO. 1 painted especially for you. It has "It is a doubtful one So one cvn A Poaltlvu Cure for Catarrh of all All by MTEB HBflrJMEBSOir. KIDNE'VipSSaDiRfl! v\ tl out change, connecting with all lines proved a vcrv pleasant task during the kinds, it ts Instantaneous in Kflfect saw you fall The jurv would only We continue to Price $1 60 each, postpaid by mall. EAST and SOUTHEAST and Permanent In Result. Cures at any month that I have worked on it Pinky actassolicitorsfor have vourwoid tor it, and the plaintiff IS A SURE CURE htagtt or the disease. lias cared cases so terrible The only I'nc running Through Cars between 1 patents, caveats, Our Combined Catalogue of 4-mfiH.AMi Rosebud: Oh, thanks, Mr. Crajon, \ou that bones cawe from the nose. might even prove that )ou were a MINNEAPOLIS and DES MOINES, loua. tl SEEDS trado-marks, copyrights, etc. for are very kind, but I'm afraid that I Dr. Evori'e Diamond Catarrh Remedy Tl rough Trains bet ecp for 9II diaMaV of the Kidneys and chronic liar." fcat 1 the United States, andto obtainpatents Ismildand pleasant, aflording immediate must return the frame, as mother ne\er MINNEAPOLIS AND ST. LOUIS, "Dear, dear me!" she gasped as she in Canada, England, France, LIVER Rellerand promptcore in all casesot Catarrh, allows me to accept presents of any onner Ing in Union Depot for all Points Sonfi n-d Germany, and all other countries. PLANTS Influenzas Hay Fever, Bronchitis. picked up her basket, "what a lucky in wcs Close contractions made with St I*, & Thirty-six years'practice. No alue from gentlemen. It will leinove Polypus and effectually core thing for me that I met vou' I shall It hasspeciflo actionon this most Important nnd St A Dnlnth Katlrosids, from and to al Watery and Purulent Discharges fiom the Bead charge for examination of models or drawings. organ, enabling it to throw off torpidity and )i it( rt and NortkWest look upon this as one of the most miraculous Bumbleton gave forth his first conundrum and Throat, and FcetltL Sickening Breath perfectly Advice by mail free. CKIIKaiBRK! PDLI.HA PAIA CP SiEirtsr inaction, stimulating the healthy secretion of lestore impaired Smell, Taste and Hearing the other day. He was at a concert, escapes of my whole life Stars *v- on nil night Trains Hi rough Tii fceis mid ba Patents obtained through us are noticed in the BHe, and by keeping the bowels in free For lte, sent free on application. relieve Headache, Break np Colds In the Head i keU to letlnnio For time tblr ate oi condition, effecting its regular discharge. the SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN, which has and garters! but how coul! I have ever and took one of the best (vacant) PETER HENDERSON A CO {strengthen the Voice and Eyss Purify, Hegniatc Is a compound of the virtues of aarsaparilla^ i Cj tt. tall upon ne irest Tu kct Agent, or add r.s* AasAlASiin IfyouaresufleTingfroni the largest circulation, and is tae most mflufinual %'tl been so foolish as to think of a lawsuit!"Detroit and Render Clear and Active every Organ of tbe seats. The usher came to him and gentled S. BOTIs. stilhngia, mandrake, Yellow ttock, with HialCaTlCIa malaria,have the chills, newspaper of its kind publishedin the Head and Throat Price, 60 cents. ClaVl Tat. a Pass. Ag', VloneapoUf. 3ft Portland* St, New York. the irxlule ot potash and iron, all powerful Free Pics*. him to a bench in the rear. Then arebilious,dyspeptic,orconstipated, Kidney- world. The advantagesof such a notice verv DIAMOND blood-making, blood-cleansing, and life-mistaimng WortwUl surely relieve and quiokly cure, he asked Jones, "Whv am I like an old patentee understands 4 elements. It is the purest, safest, i a the Spring tocleanse the System, every paid bill?" and Jones replied, "Because Thislarge and splendidly illustrated news- one should take thoroughcourseof it. 2 INVIO-OIIA.TOR. and most effectual alteram medicine THE MILLER BflOS.CUTLERY CO, paperigpubUahed wEBKIi'l at $3 20 a year, you're no account." Bumbleton wanted 41- SOLD BY DRUGGISTS. Prlcotl. kuow ot available to tlie public. The sciences KIDNEY-WOR and is admitted to be the best paper devoted Dr. Every*** Diamond IuTlsorator is to saj something about being reseated. of medicine and chemistry have ne\er A Humbugging Monkey. MERIDEX, CONN. to science,mechanics,inventions, engineering a ferrect Blood Purifier, Appetiser and produced so A aluable a temcdy, nor one so Nerve Tonic* It makes a defigbtiul, whole works, and other departments of industrial The anthropoid apes are a somewhat potent to cure all diseases lesulting from come drink, which Invigorates, Purines progress, published in any country. Single "In Mr. Bobert Buchanan's new play impure blood. It cures Scrofula and taciturn race, but a chimpanzee's murmur 0KW|fe and Strengthens the enure system. copies by mail, 10 cqnts. Sold by all newsiealers. all scrofulous diseases. Erysipelas, the hero snow balls his rival to death/' For General Debility, Dyspepsia, Bttiensnest, of affection is, very expressive, and Torpid Liver, Indigestion, Neuralgic and liheumatio Rose, or St. Anthony's Fire, Pimples It is a very cold da for a rival when tlaV quite different from his grunt of discontent. .Address, Munn & Co., publishers of Scientific Affections. Jaundice, Malaria, Flatulency. STANDARD POCKET CUTLERY, and Face-grubs, Pustules, Blotches, he gets left in such a cool and fatal American, 261 Broadway, New York. A sick orang-outang sheds tears, N maea. Sick Headache and "Kidney Complaints, Boils, Tumors, Tetter, Humors, ifi Musis ook about patents mailed free. it is invaluable. Price, SO cents. manner. Tbe villain of the play should moans piteousl), or cries fixe a^ pettish Salt Rheum, Scald-head, Ring-worm, I.adic Scissors and Ink Erasers. PATENTS have his skull split open by a boy on a Ask your Dru* rtst for these DentedIrs Ulcers, Sores, Rheumatism, Mercurial child but such s) mptoms are rather deceptive, Make allseries of STEEL PENS. and take no stew or will, be sent Disease, Neuralgia, Female Weaknesses clipper knocking his legs from under for the orang, as well asf the Free receipt of price. and Irregularities, Jaundice, him. Any other superfluous characters chimpanzee, is a great mimic, not of -descriptive Pamphlets Free. |fP Affections of the Liver, Dyspepsia, WW in the cast might be made to skate men only, but of passions and pathological W shoventof PatentAdJastsbleQnlUActionKestrroirPea, Addre D- \ory's Diamond Beutedlca Emaciation, and General Debility. **The Acme," andwillmail ismpleirossonrscsiytoffii through an air-hole Nornstown Herald. conditions Tw years ago I took O Bex SUf.0. 104 John Street. Vew 1 ork. By its searching and cleansing qualities temporary charge of a young chimpanzee jf+l. it purges out the foul corruptions which who was awaiting shipment to the Toto is crying verv hard. "What is contaminate the blood and cause derangcinenrand matter0" asked one of ber father's Pacific coast. His former landlord THE decay. It stimulates and enlivens CAN I OBTAIN A PATENT the es-Our vnole line of Fens will be sold by tke trade. HiglraoBiiii our 'tlie Mtal functions, piiuiotes energy and seemed to have indulged him in a penchant B7-lric Lints furnlsbed to dealers on sppUeaiioa. friends. "I have lost two cents that ns strength, restores and preserves health, aud Send a rough sketch or If you can)ftmodel of yi for rummaging boxes and coffers, mamma gave me." "That is not a difficult ln\ ention to UJEOKOK K. I,^IOX, Waanii 8IOO PRE3ENT1 infuses new life and vigor throughout tho for whenever I attempted to circumscribe ton, O. anda Preliminary Exatuiaatioi_ loss to repair," replied the friend whole s\stera. No*uffeiei from anv disease will be made of nil United btatos patents or the the limits of that pastime mv For Maniastksswffl "here are two cents." An instant afterward which anses from impurity of the same class of iti\ entioits and \vi 1 beauvised boarder tried to bring down the house, whether or not a patent tan be obtained. blood need despair who will gite A\EUS .w sts Fsu as aa Toto is crying harder than ever. FOK THIS PltEiVIMrXARYEXAMINA- metaphorically and Titerall), by throwing as this m*,\ Sf|tarAHi LA a fair mat. WhatNwill TIO XO CUAliGK I S HADE, "What are you still crying foi?" asked is now made for the fourth year and a Patent Cost? 8*1 himself upon the floor and tugging Itrefolh to CKjienment with tfie nunier the gentleman. "I am crying," said Uas a record of unqualified success. violently at the curtains and'bell-ropes. ous lou-pnced tiii\tmes, of cheap materials, the artful baby, "because if I had not It was the first made and has been and without mcdi mal \htupg, offeied as If that failed to soften my heart, Pansy If you are id vised that your in\ ention Is patentable, lost tw'o cents I should now have four." blood-pm ili( is, litle disease becomes more send *tS to)M Go^ ernmtnt application fee became sick. With groans and sobs he brought to perfection while competing Pttris Paper. &* uv. of *13, and t.3 for the drawings required by tbe lirinlj se.itul A\ Bit's SAKSArAitiLLA is 4 BROWN'S IRON BITTERS aro would lie down in a corner, preparing Government This is pa nil when application is and imitating machines havebeen darling0" inedium* of such concentrated curaturfl This "Is the King of Saw TW^vs^ff, a certain core for all diseases made and is all of the expense ieattorH'sfee(823')anl unless a patent isa How can I leave jon, m\ to shed the mottal coil, and adjusting limed Wheuallowed power, that it is liy fat the best, cheapestJft*.saws off made for only one or two sooorn 2 toot log In 2 Tnhmtfi requiring a complete tonic: espe Absa3ytciy murmured a Toledo' lover in tones of tlie final Government fee (S20) isTujj able Thus Pure. the pathos of the closing scene to the and most 1 citable blood-pnriner known and some of them are ad I 80,000 in nse. Tha cheapest -*'fY yon know beforehand /w-jiot/iwff.whetheryouare dally Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Inter* distressing tenderness, as he observed VL\ sicians Know if Composition, and prcsenbe degree of mv obstin.ic). One da\ he scharsprgeunless pitei^n io oo dr get,aand Patent Anaitoraey "'oing to a not made,and fully waxranted. Cizvvlar free. mittent Fevers, Want of Appetite* both hands of the clock approach a perpendicular this year for the first time. it It lias been widely usetl for fomveais, iv hose fee depends on bis success in obtaining a had set his heart upon exploring* the 1*i-poWvl i ue\ci vane* A ln^rveTof nr Eatentablelunlestscatnre Patent wil not cdvis ou that our invention Is Onltsd SUtst Manufsctaripa Co., and has won the unqualified conn-r IJOSB of Strength, lack of Energy, on the dial. "Well, John," It uses small inexpensive i rtn.ht aid whohmane- Mora, econonita letter department of my chest of drawers, i ill is patentable, so fir as FREE] deuci of imlliops whom it has benefited. I ^rlll ntsilf a copy ban the or li.Mry ttuis uid moot hi sold fU etc Enriches the bloo6\ strength* is best judgmen aid in determining the question io-.ponded the girl with wicked innocence, and, after driving him off several never Ms to Wnd every bundle and of nay Kew Book, hence, you can rely on the ad% ise gn en after inipeiHion with the multitude of low test, *hoi Prepared by Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co. ens tho mnsolest and gives new "von can take jonr choice. If a preliminary-tain matioit i Had Deafgll Fat* times, I locked the door and pocketed "MEDICAL COMMON SENSE," weight alum oi iho*i*iiit iiowJti* SA\ on}yis the LIGHTEST BRIGHT, enia nnd the Itejialration of s^ftbeln. Trade life to the nerves. Aota^Uke T. on go through the hall you will, be liable in Cans. ROWAL Hakwa PowwEnTo 106 W_ the key. Pans) did not suspect the full Ti.Htiral and Aiialtica Chemists, FREE, to any person who w!llSBssBBBaBSBBBBBBBBSssr'COWSPHPTlOiruaoaSsssea,address Mark* and Bisues secured 4 aveat* prepared aOST DUEABLE AND BEST sndrln8f with slr., N ,le charm on tthe digestive organs, end bis name post-office to wake up father, and if jou leave andflUd Applications in revivor of fte meaning of mv act till he had polled at |^r Lowell, Mass. in stamps tonpay postage. Metcsl,Abandonen.or Forfeited Caacsmnde FINISHED JUIfflLJfe*Jl the renioTing a dyspeptic symptoms by way of the back shed you'll* be likely the knobs ana squinted through the Very often valuable inventions are 8n^ ed in these 0 .I-.S?- ijOtUlYAll Iil.lM.IST5 E\ER\WHERE market. *^f such as tasting the food, Belching to wake up the dog." classes of cases If you have nndartaken to secure key-hole, but, when he realized the '5, uPHDLsratiii j* our ow patent and failed, a skilifnl handlingof or BBNClIIXI8rUie informaUon in ta^aoK ls Heat in the Stomach, Heartburn Any one who buys the truth, life ceased to be worth living: he Two little girls mot on the street the the case may lead tosuccess, fiend me a written retothe DEERISO of great value: snd it may in tbe providence of ttoa. tn-ea*1?!"5 tc Th only Iron Preparation que^taddressead savetnany nsefnl lives Address, Commissioner of JPatents n*"' of IT** cla btriof fnrn avoids every chance of trouble collapsed at once, and had hardly other day, and one said to the other: "'fy BINDER in that he recogij rat he recogTjzeOEOKOF EORorr LFJKW.cMtaslHng- ntjrtjr&cfrjr*. TtJTTnwii*, 14 H.aE WOLFE.146S.UU S^Cnsefsraas.fJ that will not blacken the teeth or T8 LAIIES ONLY! Strength enough left to drag himself to ton,, i D, as our attorney a the case givinet gtvinetFel ittorncy la the case "I've put all my dolls into deep mourning, or failure in the harvest give headache. Sold by all Druggits titlle of the and aboJ the date of mini of the invention and aboJt the dat date of filing nr*mrrle*. mntbre^mlmM, Ktr. ,&.* the stove. There he lay, bemoaning his and it's so becoming to them. in exaiiiliui'ionniid repott your application A examination nn repor wifi AMklnils of nphoNttre'l fitrnHnre nentlvrep urow at $1.00 a bottle, MANUFACTti^ED BY cost you nothinginformationade. Searches i.rtitlteotroPatents- Invn untimely fate, and stretching his legs Come over and see them." "What did .,j We win waS 1 SMaMM SIlTcr-slsteS BaMtrKaHK 11 relnting. A LAROS STOCK O* I PHOLSTERKD (loons AlJf tions, in fact any for0" "Oh. we had a c'lo- (SI35SPo?f?ut:. i r-slaiedSasrSae1lilBook.^ __. BROWN CHEMICAL CO. IrVilllam Deerings Shell 1 Bo as if the rigor mortts had alretod) overcome on do that MB ri'BNirr arwAva K"PT O t.M Wm promptlv furmshei Copley of Pntenw mailed at TUiriawm Mpieces full slzeTeeal Hwlr, WHSJI Or If ra iv nuil pi-omptly attitffjflfd to, Baltimore, Md. the regular Government rate^,/25o. each Be Piano accompaniment, retail from St to SS cent* each I his lower extremities. Ten minutes mity. Our old dog got killed, and there SC3 Harwssmdrugglata^WytlStTaaieaaldAlSolraWM'Clim at stores. and a beautiful nasttafaS astasias, three I member thisoffice hasbeen in successful operation 3 CHICACO. |v 453 WacoutaUr, Eight. St. ST PAU BsetCnrigbSyrap. See last all Itea Bitters sr ssade by SHOWS CHIMICII months, post paid if IS. three-cent sumps are sent! later his supper was brought in, didn't anv body care but me anrd them,. since lSft and yov therefore reap th benefits of The So and have srsssad red lints and trad* nark oiMrrapptr Ve in experience, besides reference enn be given to actual and I directed the boy to leave the basket We've just cried our eves ont. SIMARK tjr IMITAT .NS *%ZZZ1 P-t Xsnrfactsreralsoof M= clients in almost every coi-ntx in tii* l* PENSIONS Vampblct relating Patents free upon request behind the stove, in full sight of TkC^ligitl^,TkBl)ewiigaMTTim the other little girl said in slow, deliberate tbrSotdlers.msows Parent* CEO. E. LEMON, PENSIONS! Sad Children Any disease. my guest. But PansY's eyes assumed for Soumntv wldsws, pa* tones: "May Wilson, ain't you weuad orinjuryentittes. Mil- rents^cbildren.PeDsioiis tor a far-off expression earth had lost its lucky, though! There always something w^.^.w^'lloasappfoBfisteilsadw^ woui,aecidsatslfidarie, 61S 15th St., W ASHIVGTtW, C. KIDNEY-WORT raptarei disease of Iango, taCtecedsaMad. FiBiiitsks*aadI^esB^MppyFe charm the inhumanit) of man to man ^r happening to jou." Attornerat-T,iT and Solicitor of Amcr i^iarrbai a THI BBsVr f* CHAPIT. had made him siek of this vale of tears. can and Foreign* 1'atnnU FDR THE MMUNEIIT CUR E Of Too profane for the lad. An elder of iretdas-Qtoasaads. ^^IHRESHELS^lti. Meaning to tr) him, I accompanied the "due*l, wU Soldiers and lwirs of Mi and Xeidaui vsneattUed to the kirk having found a little boy and p^-|iSn|-S- CONSTIPATION boy to the staircase, and the victim of Pcsaftx and LAHB WAIKASTS. We savs UHSeelled his sister playing marbles on Sunday, falilies for seeurinr Patsirrs. atator am attor. of1 my cruelty gave me a parting look aey in Washington, Send two stamps for 1st* laws, put his reproof in this formnot a judicious iT ybntliST rtleessi SaopsweatessttattlB Intense reproach as I left the room. tsyaspesssttpatlessa aad. C.C. IFAlfME^rJoft P*n*lim sad Psteat Aitor one for a child "Boy. do you W But, stealing back on tiptoe, we managed nets, ldXk-*VM.m,VflmmliQUM, & know where children go to who play Xo come upon him unawares, and marbles on the Sabbath day?" "Ay/* Pansy looked rather sheepish when we says the boy, they gang down to the caught him in the act of enjoying an Held by the wate below the brig.'* excellent meal.Dr.Oswald, in Popular "No!" roared out the elder, "they go to Science Monthly for March. hell and are burned." The little fellow, really shocked, culled to his sistef: