It never amounted to much, anyway. done, and the advantasree that were certain The "Rank and file.", Cradle Soug ef the Foor. $ your lips and keep still, and it will soon Please go to thunder." to accrue from mutual trade and be over but if you retort yott are in Hush, I cannot bear to see thee *4 4ft*\* barter. The sable potentate affected to And the tailor was struck utterly dumb O, blow for the Hero a trumpet, Stretch thy tiny hands in vain Jl^SsA J, for three years or the war." Many a Let him lift up his head in the morn be plea ed with the proposal, but only to when he opened a -packaere and discovered Dear, I have no bread to give the, y*??^ man who pcurs himself in torrents of A glory of glories is battle, Nothing, child to ease thy pain! the end that he might get Glass' completely the picture of his delinquent customer rain for five minutes, and then breaks It is well for the world he was born. Cv When God sent thee first to bless me, in his power but the Scotsman with a note that said: outinto the sunshine of good temper Let him joy in the sound of the trumpet, Proud and thankful, too, was I! r" it|Sf was on his guard and foiled him. "When you gaze upon these features, And sun in the world's proud smile Now, my darling, I thy mother, again will settle down into a three days' But what had become of the Hero, The king then attempted to poison the think how much I owe you." Almost long to see the die. dismal drizzle if he is weak enough to Except for the ''rank andfile?" 4 flfc *%S Almost long to see thee die. whole crew by provisions which he scat When the unfortunate young man insist on having that last word. Sleep my darling, thou urt weary, on board impregnated by some deadly called around that evening to receive the O, grand is the Earth in her progress, An Ohio stumper, while making a God is good, but life i & dreary. drug. Glass, by his previous medical happy acknowledgements of his sweetheart, In her genius and art and affairs speech, paused in the midst of it and exclaimed: 1 The glory of glories is progress, knowledge, perhaps, discovered this in he was very ostentatiously kicked I have watched thy beauty fading, "Now, gentlemen, what do Let the great find a joy in their cares. time but so scarce had foot become in off the steps and over the fence, by the day,1 And thy strength sink day by you think?" Instantly a man rose in the Let the kings and the artists and statesmen Soon, I know, will want and fever his vessel, that he was comptlled to go young lady's father and the next morning assembly, and with one eye partially Look round them and proudly smile Take thy little life away. with a few hands in an open boat to the he was waited upon by his tailor's But what would become of the nation, closed, with a strong Scotch brogue, replied: Famine makes thy father reckless, Canaries, where he hoped to purchase lawyei, and imperatively ordered to settle Except for the "rank and file?" I think, sir, I do indeed, sir I Hope has left both him and me what he wanted from the Spaniards. or suffer. We could sutler, all my baby, think if you and I were to stump the And when the brief dayi of this planet There is pne less freckled-faced boy in Had we but a crust for thee. In his absence the savages were encouraged country together we would tell more lies A-e all ended and numbered and told, the place. He has suddenly and mys'ter i And the Lord shall appear in his glory, to attack the ship in their war than any other two men in the country, Better thou should perish early, And shall summon the young and the old, iously disapneared. canoes, but were repulsed by a sharp sir, and I'd not say a word myself during Starve so soon, my darling one, For the Hero shall sound forth no trumpet, musketry fire opened upon them by the the whole time, sir!" i Then in hopeless sin and sorrow For the great no welcoming smile remainder of the crew, who, losing heart Vainly live as I have done. Josh Billings to the Girls. Before the good Lord in hib glory Try it gradually, temperately and carefully Better that thy angel spirit by the protracted absence of the captain, We are all the "rank and the file. then watch, and report the results. With mv joy. my peace, were flown, H.H.y Dear srirls, are you in search of a husband? in Atlantic quitted his fatal harbor, and sailed for A writer says:Since the advent of the Than thy heart grow cold and careless, the Thames, which they reached in safety cabbage worm, almost every one has Reckless, hopeless, like my own. That is a pumper, and you are not requested Meanwhile the unfortunate captain, been at a loss to know what to do to raise A Strange Career, to say "yes" out loud, but are expekted I am wasted, dear with hunger, after landing on one of the Canaries, presented a few cabbages. Some have tried one And my brain is all opprest tew throw yure eyes down onto a petition to the Spanish Government thing, ana some have tried another, and About the time of the accession ot I have scarcelv strength to press the, the earth as though you wuz looking for to the effect that he might be permitted mostly to no purpose. Last year George III tc the throne, few domestic Wan and feeble to my breast, a pin, and reply tew the interrogatory to purchase food but that officer, Patience, baby, God will help us, year 1 set out three hundred and thirty events made a greater sensation in the with a kind of draulin sigh. inflamed by national animosity, cruelly Death will come to thee and me, fine plants, and picked off the worms papers and periodicals of the day than He will take us to His heaven, Not tew press so tender a theme until threw him into a dark and damp dungeoi, by hand as they came, for about two the adventures of a sea captain named Where no want or pain can be. it becomes a thorn in the flesh, we will and kept him there without pen, weeks, which took aoout two hours each George Glass, especially in connectiop Such the plaint that late apd early, presume, tew avoid argument, that you ink or paper, on the accusation that he Did we listen we might hear day. This seeming to be much work, and with a mutiny on board the brig Earl ot are on the lookout for sumthing in the was a spy. Being thus utterly* without Close besida usbut the thunder as Ihave a well of soft watar near by, I took Sanwich. This remarkable man, who 'i i mail line. Let me give you sum small Of a city dulls our ear. means of making his case known, he contrived a five-pail kettle, set it near the well and was one of fifteen children of John Glass, Every heart, as God's bright angel chunks ov advice how tew spot yure future another way of communicating put into it a pint of soft soap and the noted as the orig aator of the Scottish sect Can bid one such sorrow cease husband: with the external world. One account same of salt, and then filled it up with Crod has glory when His children known as the Glassites was born in Dundee 1. The man who is jelllus ov every has it that he concealed a penciled note Bring His poor ones iov and pea*e. water. I let this stand till the water was in 1725. Atter graduating in the medical little attenshun which yu get from some in a loaf of bread which fell into the warmed by the sun, and then, after stirring profession, he made several voyages other feller, you will find after yu are hands ot the British consul: another Items of Interest. it up well, I took my waterpot and as surgeon of a merchant ship (belong married tew him he will luv himself more states that he wrote with a piece of charcoal appaed it at the rate of about a gallon ing to London) to the Brazils and the Buzz sauceHoney. than he duz yu, and what yu mistook for on a ship buscuit and sent it to the to loity heads, putting it in the centre. coast of Guinea and in 1764 he published, A fat officethe soap boilei's. solissitude yu will discover haz changed captain of a British man of-war that was did this every day, and the result was by Dodeley, an interesting work in one volume, to indifference. lying off the island, and who with much The early angler catches the worm and I had the nicest and harcest cabbage that quarto, entitled "The History of the Jellusy isn't a heart diseze it is a liver difficulty, and after being imprisoned a cold. ever was raised Discovery andConquest]of the Canary Islands. komplaint himself, effected the release of Glass. The The coal production of China is reckoned Translated from a Spanish Manuscript." -4 latter, on being joined by his wife and 2. A mustache is not indispmsible it is A Poor Town for Business, at 3,000,000 tons annually. daughter, who had come in search of only a little more hair, and much like He obtained command of the Guinea Twenty nine ferries connect New York him, set sail for England in 1765, on moss and other excresencesoften duz He was a red nosed, wild eyed man trader, and made several successful voyages, city with Long Island and New Jersey. board the merchant brig Earl of Sandwich, the best on sile that won't raise anything from the head waters of Sage Run, and till the war with Spain broke out in It is said the ladies of the upper class Captain Cochrane. else. Don't forget that those things looked as if he had not beem in town January, 1762. Having saved a good in some parts of South America chew which yu admiie in a fellow before marriage since oil was discovered. His rusty Glass doubtless supposed his troubles round sum, he equipped a privateer, and tobacco. yn will probably dislike in a husband pants were several inches too short for were now over but the knoiedge that ook command of her as captain, to The Alaska wateis contain more salmon after, an a mustache will get to be him, and he canied half a dozen coonskins much of his property and a great amount cruise against the French and Spaniards than all the other waters the known a very weak diet after a long time. in his hand. of specie, one hundred thousand pounds, but he had not been three days at sea world. A 1 he post-office corner he met a South 3. If husbands could be took on tiial belonging to others, was on boaid, induced when his crew mutinied, and sent him Side lady, and stoping her by hdiding The hairpin ciop of this country equals as Irish cooks are, two-thirds of them lour of the crew to form a conspiracy that which is called in sea phraseology a the bunch of hides before her face, said: $10,000,000 annually. The early crop is would probably be returned but there to muder every one else and seize the round robin (a corruption of an old "Can't I sell you something nice to sown in beds. don't seem to be enny law for this. Therefore, ship. These mutineers were respectively French military term, the ruban rond, make a set of furs out of?" girls, vu will see that after yu git a George Gidley, the cook, a native of the The number of individuals entitled to or round ribbon), in which they wrote The lady screamed, aud shot across to man you have got to keep him, even if west of England Peter McKulie, an wear the cross of the French legion their names in a circle hence none could the other side of the street. yu luze on him. Konsequently, if yu Irishman Andrew Zekerman, aHollandei honor is about 57.000. know who was the leader. have got enny kold vitles in the house, "Does any of your neighbors want to and Richard H. Quintin, a Londoner Arming himsel with his cutlass and There are no fewer than 14,000 wasnerwoman try him on them once and a while during buy anything of the kind?" yelled the On three different nights they are stated pistols, Glass came on deck, and offered at woik on the banks of the Manzauares, scouring season, and if he swalers them red-nosed man. to have made the attempt, but weie baf to fight, hand to hand, any many who in Spain. and sez he will take some more, he is a The lady screamed again. fled by the vigilence of Captain Glass, conceived himself to be wronged in any A good man will be doing good whensoever man who, when blue Monday kums, will 'Now what's the matter with Han- rather than that of his countryman Captain way. But the crew, knowing his personal he is. His tiade is a compound of wash well, ner?" remarked the red-nosed man as Cochrane, but at eleven o'clock at strength, his skill and resolution, declined charity and justice the lady disappeared in the dooi oposite. night on the 30th of November, 1765. it 4. Don't marry a phellet who is alwus the challenge. He succeeded in A moment later the man veered into a chanced as shown at their tiial, that teliin how hiz mother duz things. It IZ While out hunting near Knoxville, pacifying them by fair words and the bank, and thipw Lis hides down at the these four miscreants had together the tew hard to wean a yung one. Tenn a pack of hounds attacked a flock capture of a valuable French merchantman cashier's window. watch on deck, when the Sandwich was 5. It a young man can beat you playing of sheep, and killed twenty five of them. a few days after, put them all in excellent already in sight of the coast of Ireland "Got some A No. 1 coon-skins here on the planner, and can't hear a fish In selecting a husband at seventeen, a hvrtnor. This gleam of good fortune and when Cochrane, after taking a survey that I'll sell cheap. Not a^cratch of a hoin playing on the street without turning woman desires good looks at twenty-five, was soon after clouded by an encounter aloft, was about to return to the tooth on any of "em. Ketched every one a summerset on account cf the musick good habits and at thirty, the man. with an enemy's frigate, which cabin, Peter Kulie brained him with "an of Vm in a box-trap." that is in him, I say to leave him he though twice the size of his piivateer, It is little troubles that wear the heart iron bai" (probably a marlin spike), and "We have no use for them," said the might answer to tend babe, but if you set Glass resolved to engage and for two out. It is easier to throw a bombshell a threw him overboard. president, polietly, as he cast an oblique him iioeing out in the garden, you will hours they fought broadside to broadside, mile than a feathereven with artillery. glance at the goods. find that you have got to do it yourself. A cry that had escaped Cochrane alarmed till another French vessel bore Emperor William gets along with four A man whose whole life lies in musick "They'll make yon a nice vest," said the rest of the crew, who were all dispatched down on him, and he was compelled to and a half fingeis on his light hand. (and net too hefty at that) ain't no better the red-nosed man. "Two hides '11 make in the same manner as they rushed strike his colors, after half his crew had Half of his forefinger he blew off nearly than a seedlitz powder but if he luvs to you a vest, and one '11 make you a ca on deck in succession. Thifc slaughter been killed and he had received a musket sixty years ago. listen while you sing sum gentle ballad, that'll wear you as long as you live." and the din it occasioned, roused Captain shot in the shoulder. S. Berkley Hazeltine, of Bakersfield, yu will find him mellow and not soft. "My dear, sir," replied the presidem Glass, who was below in beu but he soon He remained for some time a French Mass., aged eighty-eight, has been elected But don't marry enny body just for one omewhat confused, "wt don't want hide~ discovered what was occurring, and after prisoner of war in the Antilles, where he town clerk fifty-eight times, and for virtew enny quicker than yu would flop here. Take them soniewh' *e giving one glance on deck, ruhed away was treated with excessive severity, but the last thirty years not a vote has been a man lor just cne fault. please." to get his sword. M'Kulie imagining upon being exchanged, he resolved to cast against him. "Mebbe your wife V'bald hkp 6. It is one ov the most tuffest things the cause of his going back, went down embaik the remainder of his fortune in furs, and these is' A young lady who is doing the Alps for a female to be an old maid successfully the steps leading to the cabin, and stood another privateer, and "have it out," as "No, no, no,'* repl ie reports progress to her guardian: "I A great many has tried it, and made in the dark expecting Glass' return and he said, with the French and Dons. But l/ patiently, "take th 4 ig tried yesterday to climb the Matterhorn bad job ov it, and had a hard time suddenly seized his arms from behind he was again taken in action, and lost WJ*' 4 aie offensive."' didn't near reach the top. It is absurdly Everybody seems to look upon old maids but the Captain being a man of great everything he had in the world. i "What's that?' said higheverything in this country as just they do upon diied herbs in the strength, wrenched his sword arm free, On being released a second time, he sharply. %t garrethandy for sickness and, therfore, please send me $." and on being assailed by the other three was employed by London merchants in "Take the blamed things out ot gi.ls, it ain't amisstake that yu shud be assassins, plunged his weapon into the A newly arrived Chinaman has only several voyages to the West Indies, in exclaimed the exasperated banker :-0 willing to swop yourself oph with some arm of Zekerman. when the blade became twenty-five letteis of the English alphabet command of ships that fought their way smell like a slaughter house." 'vol i true-hearted phellow for a husband. wedged or entangled. It was at length to learn, he is well acquainted with witout convoy and according to a state "I'll take a dollar for the lot." '*-M"fl The swop may be a good one: but don't wrenched forth, and Glass was slain by T.Cincinnati Saturday Night. He is ment in the Annual Register, he was captured "The people next door buy coon-skin&,' swop for any man who is respektable repeated stabs of his own weapon, while also sure to have Cue in his head. no less than seven times. But af put in the cashier "take them up town, just because hiz father iz. You had better his dying ciies were heard by his wife "So there,s another rupture on Mount ter various fluctuations of fortune, when take them down town take thrm across be an old maid for four thousand and daughtertwo unhappy beings who Vociferous," said Mis. Partington, as she the general peace took place in 179*, he the river take them" years and then join the Shakers than tew were ruthlessly thrown overboard and put down the paper and put up her specs. found himself possessed of two thousand "Gimme fifty cents for the lot," persisted buy repentance at this price. No woman drowned. "The paper tells about the bursting lather guineas prize money, with the reputation the red-nosed man. ever made this trade who didn't get a Besides these four victims, James running down the mountain, but it of being one of the best merchant captains "If you don't get out of this, I'll kick phool, a mean kuss or a clown for a husband. Pineent, the mate, and three others lost don't tell how it got on fire." in the port of London. your head off," yelled the infuriated their lives. The mutineers now loaued About that time a company there resolved The dueling pistols used by Aaron Burr president. 7. In digging down into this subject, I one of the boats with the money, chests, to make an attempt to form a settlement in his duel with Alexander Hamilton are "I'll take thirty cents for the six," said find the digging sroes harder the further and so torth, and then scuttled the Sandwich, on the west coast of Africa, by said to be in the possession of a citizen of the red nosed man. "D'ye say the word?" I get. It is much easier tew inform yu and landed at Ross on the coast of founding a harbor and town midway betweenthe Louisville. They were left to him by his and he dangled the bunch by the tails. who not tew take, for the rezon there is Ireland. But suspicion speedily attached Cape de Verd and the River uncle, an army officer, who himself purchased The president started for the outside. more ov them. to them they were apprehended and of the day we find many statements urgSenegal. them from Burr for $500. It is The man with the skins started for the I don't think you will follow my advice, confessing the crimes of which they had In the London and other papers asserted that they have been used in sidewalk, and after having reached it he if I give it: and therefore, I will been guilty, were tried before the Court ing the advantage of opening up Guinea eleven duels. paused and said: keep it. for look upon castor oila mean of King's Bench, Dublin, and sentenced trade among others, a strange letter from A powerful bar magnet, in connection "And i his is the boasted Old City, is it? dose to give and a mean dose to take. to death. They were accordingly executed a merchant, who tells us he was taken with a Grove battery, has been successfully Grea-a-at Godfrey! If sealskin and sable If you can find a bright-eyed, well-ballasted in St. Stephen's Green, on the 10th of prisoner in a battle on that coast, and used in London in extracting a chip were selling for a cent a cart-load the boy, who looks upon poverty az October, 1765. that when escaping he "crossed a forest ot steal from the eye of a mechanic. hull town could not buy the and-paper sassy az a child looks upon wealthwho within view of the sea, where there where When the magnet was four inches from ed end of a rat's tail. had rather sit down on the curbstone of elephants' teeth in quantities sufficient to A Dreadful Mistake. the eye, the chip of steal sprang from the the 5th avenue hotel and eat ham sandwich load one hundred ships." lens where it had been lodged to the inner A Suggestion. rather than go inside and run in In the interests of this new company ft She gave him a beautiful worked pair surface of the corner, whence it was removed debt for his dinner and toothpick, and Glass sailed in a ship of his own' to the of slippers, and, although th ey were an without much difficulty. The social mangers of our churches who is a man with that sort of pluck that coast of Guinea, and selected and surveyed inch too short, and pinched him dreadfully who are trying to contrive novel and Stutterers are compelled to take life mistakes a defeat for a victory, my advice a harbor at a place which he was certain across the toes, he smilingly submitted sou7, snare profitable entertainments for the winter easily whether or no. Two men thus afflicted is to take him body and might become the center of a great to the martyrdom which they imposed, are affectionately commended to the example were at work on a forge. The him at onst, for he is a stray trout a trade in teak and cam woods, spices, oil and vowed they never should leave his of a New York church where some iron was redhot and placed on the anvil, breed very skarse in our waters. and ivory, wax and gold. Elated with feet. of the people, believing that girls of the when the first one said Take him, I say, and bild onto him as his succes3 he returned to England, and This reckless statement must be received period are capable oi better things above "John, s-s-trike it ha ha-hard." hornets bild on a tree. laid his schemes before the ministry, by the reader with becoming and beyond the customary and unique The other answered among whom were John, Earl of Sandwich. cautiousness. $ I "says he" and "says I," sought ocular demonstration The Indian or Brahmin bull, often 'Jim, wh-wh-where sh-sh-shall I hit?" Secretary of State, and the Earl of And so the young man made a return by means of a cake match, called the zebu, extends over southern "No m-m-matter now, its co-co cold," Hillsborough, Commissioner of Trade and of her offering. It was his picture, encased to which all young ladies were invited to Asia and the Eastern Islands, is also was the reply, and he bar was put into Plantations' in a handsome frame. He wrote a contribute. Some thirty fair contributors found in Eastern Africa, a^d is common the fo.ge again. With truly national patience and perseverence note to send with it, and at the same time came forward with but little solicitation, to the northwest Himalays. They are Miss Eastman, of. Massachusetts, has he underwent all the procrastination replied angrily to an oft-repeated dun and each signed a certificate that she venerated by the Hindus, who object to seen a crowd of men, each smoking his and delays ot office, but ultimately from his tailor, with reference to an unpaid-for made the cake given in her name without slaughtering them, but use them in harness, pipe or chewing tobacco, yelling for obtained an exclusive right of suit of clothes. He gave a boy any assistance. The names of the makers and they will travel about thirty trading to his own harbor for twentv breai or work, and she asks: What ten cents to deliver the notes and package, were not known to the public, however, miles a day. These,oxen have pendulous years. Assisted by two merchants the giving explicit directions as to the destination would be thought of a procession of destitute but the cakes were numbered, and ears, and are distinguished by a fatty, company would seem to have failedhe ot each. It was an unusually intelligent woman demanding relief and on the appointed evening, were cut and elevated hump upon the withers, which fitted his shiD anew and sailed for the boy, with freckled face, and he every ony of them eating candy?" We eaten, and the visitors to the fair were sometimes weighs fifty peunds, and when intended harbor and sent on shore a discharged his errand in a manner that would think they had better save the allowed to vote on the cakes by numbers. properly cooked is said to be delicious. man who knew the country well, to make should give him a niche in the temple of money they spend for candy and buy seven-button The same principle might be applied to The flesh of the animal is not, however,so propositions of trade with the natives, fame. The young lady received a note in kid gloves. P. S.We have more substantial and useful kinds of palatable as that of the common ox. who put him to death the moment they her adored one's handwriting, and flew to a vague idea this is not the correct cookery. These contests would have 41 aJ saw him. *i\ her room to devour its contents. She answer. "& many attractions for the young men the Pure Water.To prevent cistern water 4Pf2^|M opened the missive with eager fingers, and churches yearn after so, and maidens Undiscouragea by this event, Captain from becoming offensive and impure, have Quarrels, like thunder-storms^ won read. would find themselves yet more popular Glass found means to open up a communication the supply pipe run nearly to the bottom end in sunshine if it were not for the as belles oi the kitchen, than as belles oi with the king of the country, to of the well, wkere the supply of purest "I'm getting tired of your everlasting determination to have the last word. It he parlor, ^-i lay before him the wrong that had been water is alwavs to be obtained.^ attentions. The suit is worn out already. you are scolded or criticised just bite